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New Year’s Eve 11 pm my dad called me to tell me happy new year as in Puerto Rico they are an hour ahead. I was miserable that evening I hated working over nights and was just exhausted. I had no idea with in a few hours he would be reported missing and I’d be finding out by a third person. 
it was all over the news I was numb, his car had been reported on fire on the side of the road without a body inside. 

a body was found my brother submitted DNA 


the remains were confirmed to be my dad 


we are still waiting for the remains to be release. The investigation is still ongoing. 
I miss him so much because through all this I’ve been going to college and I graduate this year and I want to call him and tell him. 
In that same breath I’m so angry at him due to our complicated relationship. Some days I’m sad but regardless of the complex emotions o want to express how alone I feel when I am grieving because it doesn’t end. 

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Hi Shey891112,

I can't imagine the pain you and your brother and other family must be feeling. That is absolutely horrific and I know saying I'm sorry for your loss is so inadequate, but I truly am sorry. 

Was your dad visiting there or did he live in Puerto Rico? I hope the investigation will bring justice for your dad and your family. The evil in this world is just too hard to comprehend sometimes. 

Graduating without being able to share it with your dad must have been so difficult. I know in my heart he would be  proud of you though. 

Don't feel bad for having angry feelings either. My mom and I had a complicated relationship too and many things were left unresolved. That can make your grief more complicated and hard to deal with, so continue to reach out for support. 

Yes, grieving can make you feel very alone. It's a private journey for everyone even though its universal. That's why its great to have groups like this or support through grief counselors etc.. 

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. 


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Finally we have gotten my dads remains. After years of waiting it almost feels like closure but we still have no idea who did this to him. At this point in time I’m sure it’s a cold case. August 4th is his birthday and I miss him dearly even though our relationship was complicated it didn’t make me love him any less. Any accomplishment leaves me happy and sad because I can’t call him anymore.  
There isn’t a him anymore just a memory or what was …

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I don't know the details of your dad's death but am very sorry for your loss.

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