The Young Man in the Grocery Store

[May never come]

Today was extremely difficult. It’s been almost two years since my 19 year old son and only child passed away. On my way home from work I stopped off at the grocery store. Checking out the young man who rung me up looked so much like my son. Same height, same build, hair worn the same exact way all full of blond curls. It was all I could do to breath. Holding back tears I paid and cried all the way out. Cried putting the groceries in my car, cried all the way home. I miss my son so much. I was taken so off guard today seeing someone who so resembles my son. It made my pain of missing him feel as if I’d just lost him. I don’t ever imagine this pain ever getting easier.

[Changed]

Dear May never come,   I’m sorry I’ve only just seen your message.   There are lost of unexpected triggers we face after losing a child and they can knock you over.    
I lost my adult son , David, six years ago  and I have conditioned myself to think of it as a little gift from my son when I see someone who looks like him - as if he is back with me.   It works for me .   If I were in the supermarket and I saw his favourite snack it would upset me but I turned it around and now I just choose to think how much Dave liked them , no deeper.  It takes time and there is always the unexpected that destroys that self control and I have to deal with that when it happens and try to prepare myself for the ‘next time’.   It sounds bleak - it is bleak - but we try to find healthy coping mechanisms as best we can.
BTW, my name is Roz and I post on Loss of an adult child on this site.   You are more than welcome to join us there.   Please take care.  Roz x