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ADC from my bestfriend shawn


Shawnsfriend

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I have to admit - i'm not really a believer in after death communications, but i knew GOD was going to have to make an exception in my case. So here goes the story ... 3 days ago, i found some old voicemail messages from shawn and it plunged me into IMMEDIATE DEPRESSION! I spent the last 2 days, not eating, locked in my room, not going to school, not going to work, not answering my phone or anything. I cried so much that i got instant headaches. No sleep at nights, just cat naps in the day. So tonight i was sitting here at 3:29am wondering if im going to leave the house tomorrow. I decided to check my emails and i found two (2) OLD emails from 2008 from shawn. Unread. I thought impossible? I read every single email from him, after he died, i RE-READ them all.

1st email is a Video, an automatic powerpoint with music. "I'm Alive" by Celine Dion. such a PERFECT song, especially if you guys know the lyrics. But more importantly are the messages in the slide show. It talks about friendship and how things happen for a reason and we have to trust God. It says " not to cry because its over, but laugh because it happened... and we sledom think of what we have and always think of what we miss " and some other beautiful words.

2nd email is a song, that says and i quote "I've been learning to live without you now but i miss you sometimes, the more i know the less i understand all the things i thought i knew, im learning them again. Im trying to get down to the heart of the matter cause my flesh gets weak and the ashes have scattered but its about forgiveness - even if you dont love me anymore"

WOW. I know they seem pretty normal, but I know these are messages from shawn. Emails unread from 2008 ? impossible. Shawn always spoke through music, i have a TON of songs he sent me over the years when he couldnt use words he used music. That was his language. Especially the lyrics of the song? its just too much to be a conincidence. His body was frail and weak from cancer, there were ashes scattered (he was cremated), and it really is about forgiveness (i would always tell him id never forgive him if he left me first) and the part 'even if you dont love me no more' - i used those lines at his memorial, shawn would always tease is friends that he still loved us even if we didnt love him no more. I even find it MORE strange that i found them TONIGHT after spending 2 of my worst days in depression and seclusion, crying for hours. Dont get me wrong, im still not smiling, still not better - but i have a little comfort and hope, knowing that hes okay and i got messages from him.

Just maybe i will leave my house tomorrow

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I have to admit - i'm not really a believer in after death communications, but i knew GOD was going to have to make an exception in my case. So here goes the story ... 3 days ago, i found some old voicemail messages from shawn and it plunged me into IMMEDIATE DEPRESSION! I spent the last 2 days, not eating, locked in my room, not going to school, not going to work, not answering my phone or anything. I cried so much that i got instant headaches. No sleep at nights, just cat naps in the day. So tonight i was sitting here at 3:29am wondering if im going to leave the house tomorrow. I decided to check my emails and i found two (2) OLD emails from 2008 from shawn. Unread. I thought impossible? I read every single email from him, after he died, i RE-READ them all.

1st email is a Video, an automatic powerpoint with music. "I'm Alive" by Celine Dion. such a PERFECT song, especially if you guys know the lyrics. But more importantly are the messages in the slide show. It talks about friendship and how things happen for a reason and we have to trust God. It says " not to cry because its over, but laugh because it happened... and we sledom think of what we have and always think of what we miss " and some other beautiful words.

2nd email is a song, that says and i quote "I've been learning to live without you now but i miss you sometimes, the more i know the less i understand all the things i thought i knew, im learning them again. Im trying to get down to the heart of the matter cause my flesh gets weak and the ashes have scattered but its about forgiveness - even if you dont love me anymore"

WOW. I know they seem pretty normal, but I know these are messages from shawn. Emails unread from 2008 ? impossible. Shawn always spoke through music, i have a TON of songs he sent me over the years when he couldnt use words he used music. That was his language. Especially the lyrics of the song? its just too much to be a conincidence. His body was frail and weak from cancer, there were ashes scattered (he was cremated), and it really is about forgiveness (i would always tell him id never forgive him if he left me first) and the part 'even if you dont love me no more' - i used those lines at his memorial, shawn would always tease is friends that he still loved us even if we didnt love him no more. I even find it MORE strange that i found them TONIGHT after spending 2 of my worst days in depression and seclusion, crying for hours. Dont get me wrong, im still not smiling, still not better - but i have a little comfort and hope, knowing that hes okay and i got messages from him.

Just maybe i will leave my house tomorrow

I think you're right, Shawn sent you those messages at a time when you needed them most. I'm so glad they have given you a little comfort. Take the hope he has given you and take a few more steps forward. You will still cry and hurt but that's ok too. You loved him, you can't expect any different. Hugs and prayers to you. Vivian-Kevin's Mom

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Thank you Vivian, you are one of those awesome people ive met on here. I actually went to work today and worked over time. And i ate TWO full meals today, the FIRST time i ate two meals in the same day since he passed. You right, I WILL still cry and even have a relapse, but like Onedaysoon told me, "lets not focus on that, lets just focus on Shawn and continuing for him"

I think you're right, Shawn sent you those messages at a time when you needed them most. I'm so glad they have given you a little comfort. Take the hope he has given you and take a few more steps forward. You will still cry and hurt but that's ok too. You loved him, you can't expect any different. Hugs and prayers to you. Vivian-Kevin's Mom

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Thank you Vivian, you are one of those awesome people ive met on here. I actually went to work today and worked over time. And i ate TWO full meals today, the FIRST time i ate two meals in the same day since he passed. You right, I WILL still cry and even have a relapse, but like Onedaysoon told me, "lets not focus on that, lets just focus on Shawn and continuing for him"

Funny, I often tell my kids just about the same thing. Make Kevin proud of who you are and what you've done with the hurt and pain in the aftermath of his passing. I am very blessed to say each one of them (there are 4 of them) has done just that. They all looked up to Kevin, not only because he was the oldest but because of the fun loving great guy he was. He always included his brothers and sister when ever he could.

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