Yesterday my cat's brother jumped out the window and died.

[Accaf]

Last week I adopted a pair of littermates, and just yesterday one of them fell to his death. I'm shocked, sad, and just don't know what to do anymore. I haven't had him for long but I feel sad and guilty about his death. What happened was I was outside and my brother was home, I've always been telling him to keep his door closed he never really listened, and just yesterday an accident occurred, I thought my brother would've kept his door closed,  I was outside taking a walk, and when I came back one of the cats disappeared, I started looking for him like crazy, and my brother looked down the balcony and there he was, turns out that my brother did NOT keep his door closed, did NOT close his windows, and had went out. When I rushed downstairs to check if he was alive he just lay there eyes and mouth open,  cold on the ground. I felt so helpless, but I'm really concerned for his brother (the one I still have), he's asking for pets more often now, and he's meowing more. It's as if he's looking for his brother and I don't know what to do, how I can help him.

[foreverhis]

Welcome. I’m so sorry you are going through this. It’s absolutely tragic to lose your kitten (not sure of age) that way.

We here know that heartbreaking reality and understand how painful it is.

18 hours ago, Accaf said:

but I'm really concerned for his brother (the one I still have), he's asking for pets more often now, and he's meowing more. It's as if he's looking for his brother and I don't know what to do, how I can help him.

He is definitely looking for his brother. Animals grieve the loss too.  The way you can help him is to pet, hold, and comfort him. He will likely keep searching for his brother for some time. (Please make sure he doesn’t try to “follow” his brother’s path.)

When you see him searching or when he’s showing emotional distress, give him love. Talk to him gently as if he can understand every word. Animals are very sensitive not just to the tone of our voices, but our emotions as well.  He will “hear” and know your meaning and your feelings. And in that way, you can comfort each other.

Please keep coming here to talk as well. It helps to know that you are not alone.

[Accaf]

4 hours ago, foreverhis said:

Welcome. I’m so sorry you are going through this. It’s absolutely tragic to lose your kitten (not sure of age) that way.

We here know that heartbreaking reality and understand how painful it is.

He is definitely looking for his brother. Animals grieve the loss too.  The way you can help him is to pet, hold, and comfort him. He will likely keep searching for his brother for some time. (Please make sure he doesn’t try to “follow” his brother’s path.)

When you see him searching or when he’s showing emotional distress, give him love. Talk to him gently as if he can understand every word. Animals are very sensitive not just to the tone of our voices, but our emotions as well.  He will “hear” and know your meaning and your feelings. And in that way, you can comfort each other.

Please keep coming here to talk as well. It helps to know that you are not alone.

Thank you so much for your advice and concern, I will definitely make sure he doesn't try to "follow" his brother, currently my cat is still meowing more than usual, yesterday I took the day off to spend time with him, at the first half of the day he's been quite loud and active? (He would play, and meow alot), but then he just started sleeping alot, and today somewhere around 1 am he started scratching on my door and I let him in, but he still kept meowing. It pains my heart to see him like that, I petted him, and he eventually quieted a little.
I hope as time goes he will be less sad towards the loss of his brother, and I hope I can help him through, he's been going through lots of changes, (new home, loss of brother, etc), so I'm sure he's really confused, and sad, but I will make sure to try and make him feel less of those negative emotions. Ofc I also hope that I can feel less pained by what had happened although it will definitely take time, again thank you for your concern, I will definitely continue to talk here. 

[KayC]

I am so sorry, this is horrible. I hope your brother learned his lesson.

Animals most  certainly grieve, I went through that with Lucky when my husband died. And my friend Iris lost her husband last month and her Jazzy definitely grieved, it was heartbreaking.  I bring Kodie over to play with Jazzy every day and Kodie kept trying to engage her, it was amazing, he wasn't daunted by her lack of enthusiasm, he just kept trying and would hang out when she didn't want to play.

Years ago I adopted a pair of cats and when Midnight died, Autumn would no longer come inside the house and didn't want us to pet her, I think she thought we had something to do with it.

Grieving Pet

 

 

[Accaf]

7 hours ago, KayC said:

I am so sorry, this is horrible. I hope your brother learned his lesson.

Animals most  certainly grieve, I went through that with Lucky when my husband died. And my friend Iris lost her husband last month and her Jazzy definitely grieved, it was heartbreaking.  I bring Kodie over to play with Jazzy every day and Kodie kept trying to engage her, it was amazing, he wasn't daunted by her lack of enthusiasm, he just kept trying and would hang out when she didn't want to play.

Years ago I adopted a pair of cats and when Midnight died, Autumn would no longer come inside the house and didn't want us to pet her, I think she thought we had something to do with it.

Grieving Pet

 

 

Thank you, he most definitely learned his lesson, I tried bringing my cat over to my friend's house once but her kitten just kept hissing at my cat so that won't work, was there anything you've done that had helped Autumn cope with it? Also thank you for sharing the video I hope that my Ricky has gone to the Rainbow Bridge. 

[foreverhis]

12 hours ago, Accaf said:

I hope as time goes he will be less sad towards the loss of his brother, and I hope I can help him through, he's been going through lots of changes, (new home, loss of brother, etc), so I'm sure he's really confused, and sad, but I will make sure to try and make him feel less of those negative emotions. Ofc I also hope that I can feel less pained by what had happened although it will definitely take time,

He will, as will you.  But you're right that it takes time.  Grief is not something to try to hide or ignore, it's nothing that can be rushed, and it's not something to be ashamed of in any way.

Your cat has definitely gone through some dramatic and traumatic changes.  I think you're doing the right things to help him by comforting and loving him.  That's all we really can do for each other sometimes.  In time, you both will be able to find happiness together.  For now, just keep loving each other and holding on.

[Accaf]

1 hour ago, foreverhis said:

He will, as will you.  But you're right that it takes time.  Grief is not something to try to hide or ignore, it's nothing that can be rushed, and it's not something to be ashamed of in any way.

Your cat has definitely gone through some dramatic and traumatic changes.  I think you're doing the right things to help him by comforting and loving him.  That's all we really can do for each other sometimes.  In time, you both will be able to find happiness together.  For now, just keep loving each other and holding on.

I will continue to love him, today my cat for a VERY short amount of time acted hyper is this normal? Back when I had the two Ricky used to chase him, and today my cat was running and acting hyper as if he was being chased . It seriously pains my heart to see that, so far my cat has been eating, drinking, and using his litter box, but he's meowing a lot, as in if he's saying: "Where's my brother? Where's my brother, did you see him?!" "I can't seem to find him!" 🥺, hurts my heart, thank you for the support, we will continue to help each other move on! Thank you.

[KayC]

14 hours ago, Accaf said:

was there anything you've done that had helped Autumn cope with it?

No, we fed her outside like she wanted and provided a house for her to sleep in on the covered patio, would reach out to pet her and she'd always recoil.  When she was 14 she went off to die (arthritic), never saw her again.  She was two when midnight died.  Brother and sister.

Just keep remembering she is going through the trauma of loss and expressing that accordingly.  Keep reaching out to her and loving her and hope for her to eventually respond.  Right now she needs to know her world is safe.

[Accaf]

1 hour ago, KayC said:

No, we fed her outside like she wanted and provided a house for her to sleep in on the covered patio, would reach out to pet her and she'd always recoil.  When she was 14 she went off to die (arthritic), never saw her again.  She was two when midnight died.  Brother and sister.

Just keep remembering she is going through the trauma of loss and expressing that accordingly.  Keep reaching out to her and loving her and hope for her to eventually respond.  Right now she needs to know her world is safe.

Oh no! I'm so sorry for your loss, my cat's 11 months old, and currently he hasn't shown any specific change in behavior other than the meowing (he's been more clingy recently), I will continue to reach out and love him, and hopefully one day he will know that his world is safe. 😞

[AJWCat]

What a tragic accident. I hope you can protect the one you still have. I have seen so many stories like this here on this site. 

I am sorry for your loss.  

[Accaf]

10 hours ago, AJWCat said:

What a tragic accident. I hope you can protect the one you still have. I have seen so many stories like this here on this site. 

I am sorry for your loss.  

Thank you for the support, I will try my best to keep the current one I have safe and happy. Lately, I've been wondering about whether or not I should get him a companion, and if I do should I get him a cat/kitten or puppy? I'm thinking about this because I feel that he is lonely when left at home, every time I come back he's always meowing at me, sniffing, and stuff like that, I thought that maybe if we get him a little friend to hang out with during the day he'll probably be happier?

[KayC]

It would be great if he had a friend.  
In addition, please read this:
Grieving Pet
I was struck by this:
- Keep his daily routine as unchanged as you can, so it remains as predictable, familiar and consistent as possible.

- Provide comfort by leaving the radio or television on when leaving the house.

 

- Stick to his normal feeding routine. Even though you may be tempted to offer special treats at such a sad time, you don't want to reward his refusal to eat regular meals.

- If he seems to want it, give him extra attention, petting and affection, but try to do so when he is behaving in desirable ways (with toys, games and exercise). Again, you don't want to reinforce negative behavior, and you don't want to force yourself upon him. (Some animals who've always been friendly may behave in a hostile or aggressive way ~ another symptom of grief.)

- It may help to let him see and smell Honey's "things" (collar, grooming brush, bedding, etc.). Some people recommend actually sitting down and "explaining" to the animal what happened to their companion. Your dog won't understand every word, but your gentle touch and the soothing tone of your voice will provide some comfort.

- Give him time to adjust to this very big change in his life. Like you, he is missing Honey, and more than anything he needs you to be patient with him.

[Accaf]

On 4/2/2023 at 6:40 AM, KayC said:

It would be great if he had a friend.  
In addition, please read this:
Grieving Pet
I was struck by this:
- Keep his daily routine as unchanged as you can, so it remains as predictable, familiar and consistent as possible.

- Provide comfort by leaving the radio or television on when leaving the house.

 

- Stick to his normal feeding routine. Even though you may be tempted to offer special treats at such a sad time, you don't want to reward his refusal to eat regular meals.

- If he seems to want it, give him extra attention, petting and affection, but try to do so when he is behaving in desirable ways (with toys, games and exercise). Again, you don't want to reinforce negative behavior, and you don't want to force yourself upon him. (Some animals who've always been friendly may behave in a hostile or aggressive way ~ another symptom of grief.)

- It may help to let him see and smell Honey's "things" (collar, grooming brush, bedding, etc.). Some people recommend actually sitting down and "explaining" to the animal what happened to their companion. Your dog won't understand every word, but your gentle touch and the soothing tone of your voice will provide some comfort.

- Give him time to adjust to this very big change in his life. Like you, he is missing Honey, and more than anything he needs you to be patient with him.

Thank you for these tips, I will try to follow them the best I can, and I will see if I can get him a friend. Thanks  

[KayC]

I wish you well with it, let us know when you find one, okay?  I had two for years but only one in recent years, since getting my feral cat (outdoors only) him and my dog get along so great, they have playtime together outside and totally adore each other!

[Accaf]

1 hour ago, KayC said:

I wish you well with it, let us know when you find one, okay?  I had two for years but only one in recent years, since getting my feral cat (outdoors only) him and my dog get along so great, they have playtime together outside and totally adore each other!

I will! Thank you!