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Shattered


Tina Sykes

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My Son was killed in a head on accident on the 22/12/2011, if my grief is a reflection of my love, how deep and real my love is. It is not reflecting in one whole but a million shattered splinters of it. reflecting a myriad of different forms of love so vast it is overwhelming in its intensity.

Not one piece fitting together enabling me to feel or be whole.

Next week will be the 2nd month.

A river of tears still flowing continiously some places quite and still others a raging torrent.

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My Son was killed in a head on accident on the 22/12/2011, if my grief is a reflection of my love, how deep and real my love is. It is not reflecting in one whole but a million shattered splinters of it. reflecting a myriad of different forms of love so vast it is overwhelming in its intensity.

Not one piece fitting together enabling me to feel or be whole.

Next week will be the 2nd month.

A river of tears still flowing continiously some places quite and still others a raging torrent.

Tina, I am so very sorry for your hurt and pain. My 22 yo daughter died also. It was 4 years last August. I was touched by your beautiful description of your grief. I know the numbing pain you are experiencing right now. All of us on this site understand the tremendous tragedy you endured by the loss of your childand. Please go to the other thread it should be near where you posted this, it will say "loss of adult child," go on that thread and post. At the top right there will be a button that says reply. Click on there and you can post where more will see it. That's where many others post and you will find many more who have walked in your shoes and can offer guidance. The road is not easy. I know the loss of your precious son, it is hard to even believe there is a future without him. I know the hurt and pain are raw and severe. Please come back to the site and talk to us about your son. You can post pictures about your son in the gallery. All of us have are experienced your pain and would like to be there to help you,Maddy

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Tina, I am so very sorry for your hurt and pain. My 22 yo daughter died also. It was 4 years last August. I was touched by your beautiful description of your grief. I know the numbing pain you are experiencing right now. All of us on this site understand the tremendous tragedy you endured by the loss of your childand. Please go to the other thread it should be near where you posted this, it will say "loss of adult child," go on that thread and post. At the top right there will be a button that says reply. Click on there and you can post where more will see it. That's where many others post and you will find many more who have walked in your shoes and can offer guidance. The road is not easy. I know the loss of your precious son, it is hard to even believe there is a future without him. I know the hurt and pain are raw and severe. Please come back to the site and talk to us about your son. You can post pictures about your son in the gallery. All of us have are experienced your pain and would like to be there to help you,Maddy

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My Son was killed in a head on accident on the 22/12/2011, if my grief is a reflection of my love, how deep and real my love is. It is not reflecting in one whole but a million shattered splinters of it. reflecting a myriad of different forms of love so vast it is overwhelming in its intensity.

Not one piece fitting together enabling me to feel or be whole.

Next week will be the 2nd month.

A river of tears still flowing continiously some places quite and still others a raging torrent.

Tina dear,

The pain and the tears will be with you for a long time, missing him will last until you see him again. There is no avoiding that. Losing a child is the very worst thing that could ever happen to a person, and no pain on earth compares. We feel anger, but at who? We ask why, but who can give us an answer?

My daughter went home exactly one month before your son. I had that awful sick feeling in my stomach and the tingling weakness in my legs as I wondered HOW I could live on without her. She was the brightest star in my life from the moment she was born. I raged at God and pushed those away who wanted to help. And for a few awful days, I gave no consideration to my other children or my husband. Finally, crouching on the floor, sobbing and begging, I asked God to forgive me and help me- I was losing my mind. He helped me see that my daughter was just where He wanted her to be- she was where SHE had wanted to be. She, and your son, are experiencing an existance that I can't wait to be a part of.

Tina, your son is right beside you, hears you and doesn't want you to anything but ok. You have wonderful memories and those WILL cause you to smile in time. Our separation from our precious children is temporary, only.

Do you have a support system? Family? Friends? Don't hesitate to hold them close. Let your love hold you up. Let God hold you up.

Love,

Robyn

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DearRobin

Thank you for your beautiful reply, boy it is early days for you too I am so sorry I can truelly say that and know your pain and grief at times it is a feeling similiar to fear I do identify and only one walking this road of identification can. My Son was turning 24 on the12 January 2012, I married him off on the 4/12/2011 and a year later He was with the Lord. The thing I cannot get my head and heart around is that he and his wife had a relationship for six years before they got married and honoured the Lord by being virgins the day they got married and they got one year of marraige for that, I am getting passed the anger stage well it feels like it, at times I think I am and then it all comes rushing back. I have wonderful support, my husband and 2 boys also 3 sisters and a brother, I have a close friend who lost her daughter 10 years ago she is amasing. I am experiencing the most unbelievable silence as far as God's isconcerned but then maybe it is just me, when you mentioned asking Him to forgive you maybe that is what I should do because it is most likely from my side.

Thank you Robin

Love

Tina

Tina dear,

The pain and the tears will be with you for a long time, missing him will last until you see him again. There is no avoiding that. Losing a child is the very worst thing that could ever happen to a person, and no pain on earth compares. We feel anger, but at who? We ask why, but who can give us an answer?

My daughter went home exactly one month before your son. I had that awful sick feeling in my stomach and the tingling weakness in my legs as I wondered HOW I could live on without her. She was the brightest star in my life from the moment she was born. I raged at God and pushed those away who wanted to help. And for a few awful days, I gave no consideration to my other children or my husband. Finally, crouching on the floor, sobbing and begging, I asked God to forgive me and help me- I was losing my mind. He helped me see that my daughter was just where He wanted her to be- she was where SHE had wanted to be. She, and your son, are experiencing an existance that I can't wait to be a part of.

Tina, your son is right beside you, hears you and doesn't want you to anything but ok. You have wonderful memories and those WILL cause you to smile in time. Our separation from our precious children is temporary, only.

Do you have a support system? Family? Friends? Don't hesitate to hold them close. Let your love hold you up. Let God hold you up.

Love,

Robyn

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Dear Maddy

I did reply yesterday but I cannot seem to see it, I most likely did something wrong I also did follow what you said but I dont see it , well thats okay, I will learn to navigate my way around.

Thank you so much for your reply, I have two other precious sons, and a wonderful husband, but we all at the moment are feeling incomplete, not being able to think further than today, this hour, minute, second. I keep saying its a minute by second walk. We post some more have to start working

Thank you, Maddy

love

Tina

Tina, I am so very sorry for your hurt and pain. My 22 yo daughter died also. It was 4 years last August. I was touched by your beautiful description of your grief. I know the numbing pain you are experiencing right now. All of us on this site understand the tremendous tragedy you endured by the loss of your childand. Please go to the other thread it should be near where you posted this, it will say "loss of adult child," go on that thread and post. At the top right there will be a button that says reply. Click on there and you can post where more will see it. That's where many others post and you will find many more who have walked in your shoes and can offer guidance. The road is not easy. I know the loss of your precious son, it is hard to even believe there is a future without him. I know the hurt and pain are raw and severe. Please come back to the site and talk to us about your son. You can post pictures about your son in the gallery. All of us have are experienced your pain and would like to be there to help you,Maddy

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