My Beloved son James

[Leaf]

My son James had goblet cell carcinoid cancer. He was in stage 4

already when it was discovered. He underwent a major surgery called

HIPC. The complications from this surgery is what caused his death. He was

in ICU for 26 days. I was with him the whole time. I've been a single parent all

of my children's lives almost. James and i lived together for many years. we helped each

other with education, jobs and so many things. we were like soul mates. He was only 37yrs. old.

Our faith in God kept us going and many people prayed he would be healed. God took him to be with Him.

i ask the Lord every day why he took him so young. James had earned a Masters degree in Apologetics from

Southern Evangelical Seminary just outside of Charlotte, NC. He had planned to study for a Ph degree so he could

teach on the college level. i am so depressed, sad, alone and the pain in my heart is there every single day. i seem to

get pain in all the same abdominal areas where James had pain. It would be good, i think, to talk with others who have lost

a son or daughter.

Leaf

[shellyku]

I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your son James. My 29 year old daughter died from leukemia

on August 18, 2010. This road we travel, that of losing a child, is the hardest thing we could ever

have imagined. May I encourage you to visit "Loss of an Adult Child" on this website. There are so

many kind, compassionate people there who are walking along with us on this journey. My heart

and prayers to you! By the way, the angel date on your profile means the day of your James' passing.

[Maddy6]

1329122186' post='83884']

My son James had goblet cell carcinoid cancer. He was in stage 4

already when it was discovered. He underwent a major surgery called

HIPC. The complications from this surgery is what caused his death. He was

in ICU for 26 days. I was with him the whole time. I've been a single parent all

of my children's lives almost. James and i lived together for many years. we helped each

other with education, jobs and so many things. we were like soul mates. He was only 37yrs. old.

Our faith in God kept us going and many people prayed he would be healed. God took him to be with Him.

i ask the Lord every day why he took him so young. James had earned a Masters degree in Apologetics from

Southern Evangelical Seminary just outside of Charlotte, NC. He had planned to study for a Ph degree so he could

teach on the college level. i am so depressed, sad, alone and the pain in my heart is there every single day. i seem to

get pain in all the same abdominal areas where James had pain. It would be good, i think, to talk with others who have lost

a son or daughter.

Leaf

Leaf, I am so very sorry for the loss of your precious son. How heartbroken you must feel. I also understand that you may feel betrayed by God. I also lost my 22 yo daughter, it was 4 years ago. I had had many years of serving God faithfully and did not understand why this happened either. I blamed myself that my prayers did not save her. My children all blamed God and still do. I do not know all the answers, but I do know that you will find hope and healing with others like myself. I had endured much tragedy and due to the circumstances I found myself in a place of grieving alone. It was not until I found this site and discovered others like myself that I began to recover. Please come back to this site. On the thread near this one you will see Loss of an Adult Child thread. Most people post there. We hurt, grieve, rant, cry, and love and support each other. I know God, in His perfect timing led me there. There are many of us who understand your broken heart and deep pain. We are here for you. Love, Maddy - Rachael's mom and 5 others also.

[vivkib]

My son James had goblet cell carcinoid cancer. He was in stage 4

already when it was discovered. He underwent a major surgery called

HIPC. The complications from this surgery is what caused his death. He was

in ICU for 26 days. I was with him the whole time. I've been a single parent all

of my children's lives almost. James and i lived together for many years. we helped each

other with education, jobs and so many things. we were like soul mates. He was only 37yrs. old.

Our faith in God kept us going and many people prayed he would be healed. God took him to be with Him.

i ask the Lord every day why he took him so young. James had earned a Masters degree in Apologetics from

Southern Evangelical Seminary just outside of Charlotte, NC. He had planned to study for a Ph degree so he could

teach on the college level. i am so depressed, sad, alone and the pain in my heart is there every single day. i seem to

get pain in all the same abdominal areas where James had pain. It would be good, i think, to talk with others who have lost

a son or daughter.

Leaf

Leaf, I'm so sorry for the loss of your angel. I lost my son Kevin in Sept. and it's a heartbreaking thing to have to go through. My son was not sick so I don't know how to give you words of comfort on that level but lossing a child, no matter how it happens, is devistating. You are not alone, there are alot of us on this path and we are all here to walk with each other. When we stumble, fall, or just don't feel we can go on, we have each other to lean on. Please come back often and write whatever it is you need to, we'll be here. Hugs and prayers to you. Vivian-Kevin's Mom

[robyn]

My son James had goblet cell carcinoid cancer. He was in stage 4

already when it was discovered. He underwent a major surgery called

HIPC. The complications from this surgery is what caused his death. He was

in ICU for 26 days. I was with him the whole time. I've been a single parent all

of my children's lives almost. James and i lived together for many years. we helped each

other with education, jobs and so many things. we were like soul mates. He was only 37yrs. old.

Our faith in God kept us going and many people prayed he would be healed. God took him to be with Him.

i ask the Lord every day why he took him so young. James had earned a Masters degree in Apologetics from

Southern Evangelical Seminary just outside of Charlotte, NC. He had planned to study for a Ph degree so he could

teach on the college level. i am so depressed, sad, alone and the pain in my heart is there every single day. i seem to

get pain in all the same abdominal areas where James had pain. It would be good, i think, to talk with others who have lost

a son or daughter.

Leaf

Leaf,

I'm so sorry. I wish I could explain God's purpose for this, but it just isn't for us to know right now. My 33 year old daughter went home on Nov. 22. She was a healthy, happy, young mother who just went to sleep and didn't wake up. The medical examiner could find no reason that this should have happened. The shock was numbing, and the anger beyond anything I had ever felt. I DEMANDED that God tell me WHY He had done this.

But here's the thing. Jesus took hold of me and never let go. I still get sad, sometimes, and I still get depressed sometimes, but I know, with absolute certainty, that my baby girl is just a breath away and I will- WILL- see her again. We have a place to go- to the One who's love and mercy surpass all understanding.

It's hard for moms to let go and lean on someone else. We are so used to being the ones who "fix things". But sometimes, we just can't. And that's where our Father comes in. It is such a relief to go to Him, bury our faces in His chest and let Him surround us with His love.

Dear one, your son is "this" close, and he hears you when you talk to him. He loves you and wants you to be ok. And you will be one day. Until then, know that there are others who want to listen and reach out to you.

Love,

Robyn