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tough day


debbie8800

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I was trying so hard to be strong today, i went to the health club by moms house, did zumba, swam, etc, then i got onl the parkway to come back down to tthis beach place and just started crying , wondering what the point is anymore. I am usually so strong and brave. When someone you love dies you are never the same.

My insurance apporved my medical procedure so i have to remain in jersey another 6 months or so. My search continues to find the right roommate in a state where many seem unhappy... Where my mother lived is by the beach and it is nice there. I hope things fall into place for me. Tommorrow i have to do my pre admission blood work and i have the outpatient procedure on feb 28th.. While at the gym tonight we were doing zumba and i stopped to think of my mother and then my heart ached for i knew she is no longer here to share in my joy. I cried the whole way home and am having a difficult and teary night.

Good night everyone.

Zeee i know how you feel, just read your post.

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Debbie, I know how hard the tough days can be. I went through the "what's the point"? stage too and it feels like a sad and lonely place. It is so HARD with a mom. She has literally been there since you were born and you don't know anything about living on earth without her. I feel like I am stumbling through life sometimes, wondering if I am doing it right. Wondering what she would say to me right now.

Last night I found a bangle bracelet with her birthstone and a tag that said "forever"....I am ordering it.

Have a better day today Debbie. You are not alone.

((((( Hugs ))))

Suz

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Deb ..... I know what ur going thru..... sometimes i too feel like whts the point of doin nething wen shes not around to appreciate u..... yesterday after takin a shower i decided to straighten my hair.... no1 was home, my friends were out with their families , my sister was busy with her family and they were showing nuthn good on tv..... so while i was straightening my hair i remembered the last time i did it was 3 months ago before going to a friends wedding.... mom was sitting on my bed and said "u look so beautiful" i turned to look at her and said "mommy i need to put on make up to look pretty but u look so gorgeous when u wake up in the morning" n she had smiled......

Now i dint hav ne1 to say nething to me........... I was so alone....... I had a boyfriend but for some weird reason he left me 7 days after moms death............ tht was another blow in my life........

I miss u mom............ wish u were here...............

i hope u feel better Deb..... <3

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Thanks suz and Zee, i am feeling a bit better today, sitting here watching the Knicks vs. Minnasota, boy Minnasota is good. lol

Got my car back today, i blew a hose yesterday and it had to be towed. I was looking at a rental at the time and the guy drove me home, it was over an hour....I thanked him and got the car back today, nothing major.

So i keep trudging along, with my degree. But i will tell you when i was dancing and paused to think of mom where my heart is, and remembered omg she is gone, it was scary. Now Whitney Houston died today, what a shame....only 48.

Life is funny one just never knows what tommorrow will bring...

Thank you for listening.

God bless each and every one of us Back to the Knicks game. Till next time.......Abundant blessings.

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