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my birthday


btjw020610

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So tomorrow is my 30th birthday, I am trying to embrace it. Last year my fiance made me feel so special he was sick but he made sure he got me my gift and then gave it to me on my birthday, this was before we were officially together. We met to get coffee and he had a card and my gift, he ad remembered that I said I wonted Lord of the rings return of the kings the extended version. I was so touched it was a comment i made months before when we were talking about movies we like. He got me my favorite chocolates the Lindor truffles so good. I knew that he didn't have much money and he had been sick with the flu for a while so for him to make sure I had my gift just made me feel so special. He was looking forward to doing something this year I remember him talking about it even though it was supposed to be a surprise he just couldn't keep a secret from me very long. When he was asking my sister advice about the official proposal he told me just minutes later. About two week after we were officially together we were on the phone and we just knew by then this is it, and from then on we were planning our wedding and life together. I just wish we would have had more time. It was this date we had when I knew how much I loved him I remember looking into his eyes and wondering if he knew how much I loved him already. From that day on we just grew closer many of our friends and family felt like we had been together for years we just fit together. I don't think we ever had a fight that lasted more that and hour because we didn't argue like most, truly we just talked things out even when we were upset with one another we needed to be close to one another. We worked at it it wasn't easy because of our past relationships but we actively worked through the hard times. It feel like this wasn't just 8 short months that we had together but years. I miss him so much. I am so grateful that I have his family to help me though this. I know that many fiance's and girlfriends don't have this I couldn't imagine how much harder it would be with out them, the have truly loved me like their own it is amazing.

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So tomorrow is my 30th birthday, I am trying to embrace it. Last year my fiance made me feel so special he was sick but he made sure he got me my gift and then gave it to me on my birthday, this was before we were officially together. We met to get coffee and he had a card and my gift, he ad remembered that I said I wonted Lord of the rings return of the kings the extended version. I was so touched it was a comment i made months before when we were talking about movies we like. He got me my favorite chocolates the Lindor truffles so good. I knew that he didn't have much money and he had been sick with the flu for a while so for him to make sure I had my gift just made me feel so special. He was looking forward to doing something this year I remember him talking about it even though it was supposed to be a surprise he just couldn't keep a secret from me very long. When he was asking my sister advice about the official proposal he told me just minutes later. About two week after we were officially together we were on the phone and we just knew by then this is it, and from then on we were planning our wedding and life together. I just wish we would have had more time. It was this date we had when I knew how much I loved him I remember looking into his eyes and wondering if he knew how much I loved him already. From that day on we just grew closer many of our friends and family felt like we had been together for years we just fit together. I don't think we ever had a fight that lasted more that and hour because we didn't argue like most, truly we just talked things out even when we were upset with one another we needed to be close to one another. We worked at it it wasn't easy because of our past relationships but we actively worked through the hard times. It feel like this wasn't just 8 short months that we had together but years. I miss him so much. I am so grateful that I have his family to help me though this. I know that many fiance's and girlfriends don't have this I couldn't imagine how much harder it would be with out them, the have truly loved me like their own it is amazing.

BTJW,

I hope you had a peaceful birthday. I am so sorry about the loss of your beloved fiance. It is very wonderful that you have the support of his family to help you get through this. What about your family? Do they help?

We will be thinking of you.

ModKonnie

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BTJW,

I hope you had a peaceful birthday. I am so sorry about the loss of your beloved fiance. It is very wonderful that you have the support of his family to help you get through this. What about your family? Do they help?

We will be thinking of you.

ModKonnie

sadly my family is not able to deal with death very well they try but most of the family I have that support me emotionally are family that is by choice my biological family is very damaged from the death of my grandmother when my aunts and uncles were very in their teens and it was a trauma they never fully got over. My mom passed away in 05' and she was a drug addict my whole life and all of my aunts and my living uncle is too, my uncle who passed away was also a drug addict. They try but they aren't really handing things well I have family that was close to him too and they are not able to really get past their own pain.

O did really enjoy my birthday very much while I missed him very much but his family really made me feel very loved and special

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Wow BTJW,

Your story really touched my heart. To know that you two grew so strong together and your relationship was amazing in a short period of time really is priceless. Some people don't understand how someone can get so close to another person in such a short time but I can. My husband and I only dated for also a few months but we knew. I feel so touched also by the fact that his family has embraced you in the same loving way. Reminds me so much of my husband's family and to tell you truth, even mine. We have many illnesses in my family and we are not close at all but I have become part of my husbands. The amazing love you feel from them will help you in your recovery. Eventually, the good memories will bring you happiness instead of pain. Please remain strong but if you need to cry do so too. Crying is a normal part of the grieving process. Also, by seeking the support of your fiancee's family they will give you the support and advice when you need it too. Have you tried to also take some time to answer the letters or cards of condolence you've received? Doing so will give you an opportunity to put into writing the good things that you remember about your fiancee and the moments you shared. You can try making an album of memories with photographs, letters, and notes and that may help you to heal. I hope that you can feel free to keep coming back. We all here have suffered a loss and we are just trying to help each other through the pain and the grief.

Hope to hear from you soon,

Ada

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