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Panic, Panic, a poem


dutchhook

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But to those who know panic attacks, I had one today, first one in 3 years. You can't stop them from happening, you feel like you're going to die, you feel yourself floating outside of your body. This is what I was feeling driving home from the gym this afternoon. I hope to write something more positive and uplifting sometime soon.

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Panic, panic, heart is racing.

Pressure, pressure, chest wall a blazing

3 eagle talons rake down my chest,

they scrape each rib til they rest

in the pit, so red and real.

God make it STOP, don't want to feel.

30 arrows pierce me through

Tis no one's fault that I am blue

Not him, not her nor even you.

I've poured it out, the well is dry

No whom no what no where no why.

So much despair, thought I was through,

the worst of it, without a clue,

came rushing back - a tidal wave,

afraid of all, thought I was brave.

When the well fills up, I will come back

in happier times, when they aren't so black.

Steve Hoogenakker

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But to those who know panic attacks, I had one today, first one in 3 years. You can't stop them from happening, you feel like you're going to die, you feel yourself floating outside of your body. This is what I was feeling driving home from the gym this afternoon. I hope to write something more positive and uplifting sometime soon.

Link to full poem and other stories

Panic, panic, heart is racing.

Pressure, pressure, chest wall a blazing

3 eagle talons rake down my chest,

they scrape each rib til they rest

in the pit, so red and real.

God make it STOP, don't want to feel.

30 arrows pierce me through

Tis no one's fault that I am blue

Not him, not her nor even you.

I've poured it out, the well is dry

No whom no what no where no why.

So much despair, thought I was through,

the worst of it, without a clue,

came rushing back - a tidal wave,

afraid of all, thought I was brave.

When the well fills up, I will come back

in happier times, when they aren't so black.

Steve Hoogenakker

What beutiful words. I also suffer from panic attacts since Kevin passed and it is so hard to put into words how it feel, but you've done it. 3 yrs or 4 months (for me) doesn't seem to make a difference in our losses of those we love so dearly. No matter what, we will feel the overwhelming pain at times.I'm not as far along as some are but I have come to understand that no time passing will ever take it away for good. I'm just waiting for the eaising of it in time, although I still can't wrap my head around how or when, but try to rest assured that it will get a bit better. Again, Thank you for sharing. Vivian-Kevin's Mom

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