my fiance announces he's going to a party hours after i found out i lost my uncle

[shetechnic]

hi

i didnt know who to turn to as i didnt want to involve anyone with a biased opinion.

this morning i found out i lost my uncle that i was very close to and i had to be driven home from work by my fiance. this was just 4 hours ago i got home to try to piece myself together and not even an hour ago my fiance announced, after talking on the phone with his friend, that he is going out to his friends party tonight. right now the only person i want around is him as i have no family here where i live and i dont fly out till tomorrow morning.

i dont know how to take this at all. i dont understand this action at all. im just looking for some opinions on this or if you have gone through anything like this. ive just stopped crying rright before he came and told me his plans and i dont have the energy to argue the etiquette of being there for the person your with in the worst times like this and then i think... maybe its just because he really doesnt care as much as i do?

please help as this is making my worst day a million times even worse

[Kenn]

Hi shetechnic,

I don't know how close you and your fiance are, but I can give you my thoughts on this. Most of my life I didn't have a close relationship with family other than immediate family. If my uncle had died I probably wouldn't have even attended the funeral. Actually I haven't attended many funerals, and most because I felt forced. Some people are like me, and just can't understand how the death of an uncle can hurt you so badly. I'm almost 62 now and life has caused me to have more understanding. I now realize that it hurts when we lose anyone we love. Perhaps you shouldn't be so angry at your fiance until you know what is going on in his head. Communication is everything. Right now he may not be able to understand what you are feeling. I'm in a huge hurry or I would offer more, but I want to tell you how sorry I am for your loss. I pray that you are comforted and things works out with your fiance.

hi

i didnt know who to turn to as i didnt want to involve anyone with a biased opinion.

this morning i found out i lost my uncle that i was very close to and i had to be driven home from work by my fiance. this was just 4 hours ago i got home to try to piece myself together and not even an hour ago my fiance announced, after talking on the phone with his friend, that he is going out to his friends party tonight. right now the only person i want around is him as i have no family here where i live and i dont fly out till tomorrow morning.

i dont know how to take this at all. i dont understand this action at all. im just looking for some opinions on this or if you have gone through anything like this. ive just stopped crying rright before he came and told me his plans and i dont have the energy to argue the etiquette of being there for the person your with in the worst times like this and then i think... maybe its just because he really doesnt care as much as i do?

please help as this is making my worst day a million times even worse

[cant move on]

Hi shetechnic. I don't know if you're still around but it just seemed that you felt all alone when you wrote it. I know you're looking for someone to offer their condemnation but the fact is that many people are not close to Aunts, and Uncles and just cannot understand that some people are. That said though I do feel that if your fiancee, who hopes to marry you one day, would be offering more support even if only to show that he/she can be relied upon. Please give a sign that you are still around or I'll just write it off as having written myself a letter.