Members abbyw Posted February 3, 2012 Members Report Share Posted February 3, 2012 I lost my Mum 16 years ago to lung cancer and I still can't deal with it...I was four when my Dad came & told us (me and my 4 older brothers aged 6, 9, 11 & 12) that our Mum had passed away, growing up my dad never spoke about my Mum. When I was younger I didn't think I was that different until I started secondary school aged 11. All the girls had nice coats and bags, I had hand me downs from my brothers. My friends and I wanted to go shopping so our parents were in the playground everyone had their Mum there except me, my Dad was there. My friends Mums gave them £40 each for shopping, I got £10. My Dad didn't have a clue what he was doing, when I started my periods I was so scared my dad didn't bother to explain, I had to look it up on the internet. I have always resented my Dad because he took more interest in his new Girlfriend then me or my brothers.I live everyday wishing my Mum was still here and she could have helped me grow into a better person then I am today. I just want to meet her to know who she was and now I never can and I can't deal with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Kenn Posted February 3, 2012 Members Report Share Posted February 3, 2012 Hi Abby, I think I can understand how you feel. I grew up without a dad, and I missed out on all the good things I saw other kids getting to do because they had one. I'm almost 62 and I've finally learned to accept that it is what it is. My daughter used to say that all the time. "It is what it is." Recently my daughter died and it broke my heart. As a dad I didn't always know how to connect with her either. I would give anything in the world if i could go back and start over knowing what I know now. Is it possible that your dad is as dumb as I am when it comes to knowing what he should do? I would also give anything in the world if my daughter would have come to me and helped me understand. Communication is everything, and some men me are often the worst. My heart goes out to you. I pray that you and your dad can learn to connect in a special father daughter way. I'm sure that he has room in his life for you and his girlfriend. Hopefully you and her can become great friends and enjoy some special girl times together. I'm praying that you will let your dad know how you feel, and that he will be able to understand. I hope you have a good day Abby.I lost my Mum 16 years ago to lung cancer and I still can't deal with it...I was four when my Dad came & told us (me and my 4 older brothers aged 6, 9, 11 & 12) that our Mum had passed away, growing up my dad never spoke about my Mum. When I was younger I didn't think I was that different until I started secondary school aged 11. All the girls had nice coats and bags, I had hand me downs from my brothers. My friends and I wanted to go shopping so our parents were in the playground everyone had their Mum there except me, my Dad was there. My friends Mums gave them £40 each for shopping, I got £10. My Dad didn't have a clue what he was doing, when I started my periods I was so scared my dad didn't bother to explain, I had to look it up on the internet. I have always resented my Dad because he took more interest in his new Girlfriend then me or my brothers.I live everyday wishing my Mum was still here and she could have helped me grow into a better person then I am today. I just want to meet her to know who she was and now I never can and I can't deal with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members debbie8800 Posted February 7, 2012 Members Report Share Posted February 7, 2012 Hey Abby: I had my mother till 2 months ago and the past two months have been very sad. I had my mom all my life but didn't handle her passing very well. I think you need to find a strength within you, maybe go to school for direction and discernment, there are many good female role models there. School helps me. I am halfway done with a masters. My mom was from scotland and i am in the US without her so i want to visit Europe....I totally understand your need for your mother. I still can't believe my mom is gone and i would do anything to have her back.Please come here to talk with us.Heydaddy, I am sorry for the loss of your daughter. I grew up without a father, it was just mom and I. The bond was so close, i thought it would kill me to lose her. It was very enlightening reading your post from a male perspective. Wishing you both love, healing peace and future happiness to fill the void we all have. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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