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VJL2371

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I lost my best friend... he was my parents best friend..since they were all teeenages and soon became like a father figure to me. I went to him for everything and anything. The kind of man that would always be there no matter what... I loved him so much and sadly he passed march 16th 2011... it was completly unexpected! The day he passed he had called me at work and we had a new policy that we could not make or take personal calls.. so i looked at my phone and seen that he had called me 3 times.. so i grabbed my cell phone and went in the hall to call him.. i yelled at him for calling me and i wasnt being very nice about it.. but as usual he wasnt upset that i was yelling at him.. he said "ok i;m sorry call me when u get out of work" one thing led to another and i didnt call him that evening....... he died that night all alone on a bench in Stop n shop.. he had a heart attack... i cant forgive myself for making my last words to him so bitter... please i ask anyone to help me learn to deal with the fact that i did that to a man that loved dearly... i feel that i may let this eat me alive and just have a break down...

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I lost my best friend... he was my parents best friend..since they were all teeenages and soon became like a father figure to me. I went to him for everything and anything. The kind of man that would always be there no matter what... I loved him so much and sadly he passed march 16th 2011... it was completly unexpected! The day he passed he had called me at work and we had a new policy that we could not make or take personal calls.. so i looked at my phone and seen that he had called me 3 times.. so i grabbed my cell phone and went in the hall to call him.. i yelled at him for calling me and i wasnt being very nice about it.. but as usual he wasnt upset that i was yelling at him.. he said "ok i;m sorry call me when u get out of work" one thing led to another and i didnt call him that evening....... he died that night all alone on a bench in Stop n shop.. he had a heart attack... i cant forgive myself for making my last words to him so bitter... please i ask anyone to help me learn to deal with the fact that i did that to a man that loved dearly... i feel that i may let this eat me alive and just have a break down...

I would have to say that there is not one person alive that has not had to live with some regret for a harsh word spoken or a deed that they regret. From what I am reading you say that he was your best friend. That means taking both good and bad. He most certainly knew you loved him very much. Even his response in saying to just call him after work showed he was not angry at your impatience. It was just not the appropriate time for him to be calling you. Do not take it so hard. How could you have known what was about to happen? It is not your fault. Remember the good times. He knew you well and loved you too. Hold on to that.

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I lost my best friend... he was my parents best friend..since they were all teeenages and soon became like a father figure to me. I went to him for everything and anything. The kind of man that would always be there no matter what... I loved him so much and sadly he passed march 16th 2011... it was completly unexpected! The day he passed he had called me at work and we had a new policy that we could not make or take personal calls.. so i looked at my phone and seen that he had called me 3 times.. so i grabbed my cell phone and went in the hall to call him.. i yelled at him for calling me and i wasnt being very nice about it.. but as usual he wasnt upset that i was yelling at him.. he said "ok i;m sorry call me when u get out of work" one thing led to another and i didnt call him that evening....... he died that night all alone on a bench in Stop n shop.. he had a heart attack... i cant forgive myself for making my last words to him so bitter... please i ask anyone to help me learn to deal with the fact that i did that to a man that loved dearly... i feel that i may let this eat me alive and just have a break down...

VJ,

Would it help if you wrote him a letter? Tell him what you are feeling and tell him you're sorry. Oftentimes, a letter to our lost loved one helps us release the pain, guilt, shame and anger we are not able to let go of previously.

Also, ask yourself what your friend would say to you if he knew you were suffering this badly because of your previous unkind words? Would he tell you that it is okay? Would he say he knew you cared but were stressed when he called you? Would he forgive you and move forward?

We will be here for you,

ModKonnie

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it is amazing how words of advise can touch someone so deeply.. i know he would understand that i didnt mean it..maybe it just feels good to be reminded of that.. I think i will write a letter saying what has been weighing so heavy on my heart... thank you for reaching out to me.. u have no idea how much i needed to hear that...

VJ,

Would it help if you wrote him a letter? Tell him what you are feeling and tell him you're sorry. Oftentimes, a letter to our lost loved one helps us release the pain, guilt, shame and anger we are not able to let go of previously.

Also, ask yourself what your friend would say to you if he knew you were suffering this badly because of your previous unkind words? Would he tell you that it is okay? Would he say he knew you cared but were stressed when he called you? Would he forgive you and move forward?

We will be here for you,

ModKonnie

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Thank you so much... remembering the good times is so true... i have to hold on to that....

I would have to say that there is not one person alive that has not had to live with some regret for a harsh word spoken or a deed that they regret. From what I am reading you say that he was your best friend. That means taking both good and bad. He most certainly knew you loved him very much. Even his response in saying to just call him after work showed he was not angry at your impatience. It was just not the appropriate time for him to be calling you. Do not take it so hard. How could you have known what was about to happen? It is not your fault. Remember the good times. He knew you well and loved you too. Hold on to that.

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