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HeatherDanielle

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HeatherDanielle

Hello All, My name is Heather. I am a 32 year old mother of 3 girls and now an orphan :( My father died 6 years ago due to colon/rectal and lung cancer and now my mother has joined him January 6th from lung cancer also. She was diagnosed on December 6th and made it exactly one month. I feel so absolutely empty. I know I have my children and a wonderful husband but its just not filling this void. I am also scared out of my mind. Both were smokers and I am too...and I am not dumb I know thats what killed them, I know it will kill me too...but I cant seem to put them down. I need so much help getting through all this I dont even know where to start. I was hoping to come on here I guess to vent my sadness and anger and hopefully help others too. Any advice is greatly appreciated.

Heather

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Hello All, My name is Heather. I am a 32 year old mother of 3 girls and now an orphan :( My father died 6 years ago due to colon/rectal and lung cancer and now my mother has joined him January 6th from lung cancer also. She was diagnosed on December 6th and made it exactly one month. I feel so absolutely empty. I know I have my children and a wonderful husband but its just not filling this void. I am also scared out of my mind. Both were smokers and I am too...and I am not dumb I know thats what killed them, I know it will kill me too...but I cant seem to put them down. I need so much help getting through all this I dont even know where to start. I was hoping to come on here I guess to vent my sadness and anger and hopefully help others too. Any advice is greatly appreciated.

Heather

Heather,

I am so very sorry about the loss of both your mom and dad. It's difficult to lose either one, but sometimes it's tougher when the second parent goes because your family of origin is so important and profound in your life. Right now, just concentrate on trying to put your life back together. I am sure you are so stressed it may be making your craving for cigarettes ten times worse. You can begin the process of quitting smoking when you are in an emotionally stable state and ready to make that change.

Your sadness and anger are completely normal, as is your fear. You are going to be okay, but it will take you some time to begin to move forward. For now, cry, rant, vent and get those emotions out.There are many here who have been through similar experiences. We will be here for you.

ModKonnie

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Hi Heather: I am so sorry for your loss. You do have the benefit of having your children and a husband. I am also scared i lost my mom on nov 14 9 weeks ago and it is indeed scary. Yes when you are more stable try to plan to quit smoking and you will be less scared and on your way to a healthier you. I only have a couple of cigs late at night but need to quit altogether.

Losing one's parents is very scary. I am 52 and mom was 87 and i am still scared. When things don't go right it is hard. I used to call my mom all the time. Hopefully as time goes on it will get easier for you but yes i understand your fear. Most everyone on here has lost a parent or someone close to them.

You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Debbie

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HeatherDanielle

Thank you both very much for your kind words. I think the same way most days, quiting while in this emotional rollercoaster is just setting myself up for failure. I am going to keep coming to thjis site and hope my life can balance out soon. Thank you.

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I am so sorry for your loss. I am 36 with 2 kids and a wonderful husband and also just lost my Mom to lung cancer that had spread to her bone. She was diagnosed on 1/4/12 and died 9 days later. I am still in shock. We thought she had a muscle pull and after a CT scan and xray it was determined it was stage 4. She entered the hospital on 1/8/12 and it was just a few days. I am so alone and empty without her. She was my best friend. We talked on the phone at least 5x a day and saw each other 5 of 7 days a week. I just wanted to share my story. It's nice to know I am not alone. I will pray for you. It's hard to even imagine going on without her. She just turned 72. Her mother is currently alive and 91. She gave up smoking over 30 years ago. I never thought I would lose my mother so soon and so quick. SO sorry to go on. Again I am so sorry for your loss.

Hello All, My name is Heather. I am a 32 year old mother of 3 girls and now an orphan :( My father died 6 years ago due to colon/rectal and lung cancer and now my mother has joined him January 6th from lung cancer also. She was diagnosed on December 6th and made it exactly one month. I feel so absolutely empty. I know I have my children and a wonderful husband but its just not filling this void. I am also scared out of my mind. Both were smokers and I am too...and I am not dumb I know thats what killed them, I know it will kill me too...but I cant seem to put them down. I need so much help getting through all this I dont even know where to start. I was hoping to come on here I guess to vent my sadness and anger and hopefully help others too. Any advice is greatly appreciated.

Heather

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