Dealing with the loss

[ljsvdsdavada]

My grandmother was diagnosed with terminal cancer in April of last year

It was a very difficult year for my family, watching her mind and body deteriorate

We had always been very close and watching her lose her memory and mobility was difficult

She was unable to eat so we essentially watched her waste away for about 8 months - she weighed 45 pounds on her deathbed...

It was horrible to go through and I'm upset that someone as incredible as her had to suffer for so long

She died on the 19th and our close family gathered on the Tuesday for a small service

This was the first death I've ever really dealt with and I had a lot of trouble coping

I had panic attacks during her service, but I took comfort in the fact that my family was together

We had a nice little lunch in celebration of my grandmother and we all wrote notes in a book for her

Two days later, three days from Christmas, my mother got a call from my aunt

My 23 year old cousin had got into a terrible car accident and had to be airlifted to the hospital

After a day of waiting for news, we were told things weren't looking very good and she had severe head trauma

Though she was essentially braindead on cite, she was kept alive for the entire day

They told my aunt she was stable, when really they were quite aware she wasn't going to pull through

She was pronounced braindead later that night...

Because she was an organ donor, though, on Christmas eve she saved 4 peoples lives

And I guess it is a comfort that she does live in on people

But I just don't understand any of this...

[ModKonnie]

My grandmother was diagnosed with terminal cancer in April of last year

It was a very difficult year for my family, watching her mind and body deteriorate

We had always been very close and watching her lose her memory and mobility was difficult

She was unable to eat so we essentially watched her waste away for about 8 months - she weighed 45 pounds on her deathbed...

It was horrible to go through and I'm upset that someone as incredible as her had to suffer for so long

She died on the 19th and our close family gathered on the Tuesday for a small service

This was the first death I've ever really dealt with and I had a lot of trouble coping

I had panic attacks during her service, but I took comfort in the fact that my family was together

We had a nice little lunch in celebration of my grandmother and we all wrote notes in a book for her

Two days later, three days from Christmas, my mother got a call from my aunt

My 23 year old cousin had got into a terrible car accident and had to be airlifted to the hospital

After a day of waiting for news, we were told things weren't looking very good and she had severe head trauma

Though she was essentially braindead on cite, she was kept alive for the entire day

They told my aunt she was stable, when really they were quite aware she wasn't going to pull through

She was pronounced braindead later that night...

Because she was an organ donor, though, on Christmas eve she saved 4 peoples lives

And I guess it is a comfort that she does live in on people

But I just don't understand any of this...

Sarahh,

None of us understand why things happen as they do. We simply are left to piece things back together and move forward as best as we can. It is horrific that your cousin died in such a tragic way, but for her to save the lives of four people is simply heroic. As part of my own personal healing, I simply try to accept that things happen because they just do. Questioning and dwelling on the "what ifs" and "whys" can just become a frustrating endless cycle, so I try my best to let those questions go (although I'm not always successful at it).

How is your aunt doing? How are you? Is your family talking about your losses? Are you talking to anyone about this?

We will be here for you,

ModKonnie