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how do i get through losing my dad?


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I lost my dad in October,the hardest thing for me is knowing that he was robbed of his life,he had retired the previous may after 50 long years of hard work.Since the day he retired his health deteriorated,he struggled to walk,eat and really couldn't manage doing much at all,I had to call for an ambulance for him on several occasions as he would collapse on the floor and be unconcious,every time he would get taken into hospital and then released after a couple of hours,the doctors said it was his diabetes causing him to go into hypos and he would be fine, I myself knew this was something more so I made appointments to take him for examinations at his own GP s.,two different doctors had the same diagnosis,it was diabetes again,by this point I started accepting that fact that maybe it was hypos he was experiencing,I tried my best to do everything I could for my dad to make his life easier as I could tell by the look in his eyes he was in constant pain,although he would not admit it.One night in august I received a phone call from mum saying she had to phone an ambulance again for dad as he had collapsed once more,I rushed up to the hospital,I thought it was going to be the same as all the other times and he would get out in a couple of hours after a cup of tea and a sandwich,little did I know that he had had a major stroke and that was going to be dads last time at home,he was kept in hospital and after several weeks and tests later they found a tumor the size of a tennis ball on his brain,it had been growing for over two years and no one had picked up on it.this of coarse was the reason for all his ill health,they removed it and it seemed to go quite well and then the problems started happening,when my dad woke up we realised he was severly brain damaged,that didn't matter to us,we were more than happy knowing he was alive,but his wound would not heal,he went into a coma and after eight weeks of strong fighting lost his fight for life,the was the most amazing,honest,kind,caring person in the world and now I'm completely lost without him,nothing seems to have any meaning or importance any more,where do I go from here?Just now I can't see any kind of future.

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I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my mother 7 weeks ago and i was lost too. I am starting to heal. My mom had a device put in her head for parkinsons and it was not in the right position and she started deteriorating, had a stroke, but she lived a long time till i put her in a nursing home and things went down hill. My mother also worked hard all her life and she was a wonderfl, kind caring individual.

I wish i could make it easier on you, give it time and again im so sorry for your loss.

You will be in my thoughts and prayers. Its a very difficult thing to eccept for a while. You will go through stages until you heal, but its a tough road losing a parent. I totally feal the same way you do. Hugs. Debbie

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I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my mother 7 weeks ago and i was lost too. I am starting to heal. My mom had a device put in her head for parkinsons and it was not in the right position and she started deteriorating, had a stroke, but she lived a long time till i put her in a nursing home and things went down hill. My mother also worked hard all her life and she was a wonderfl, kind caring individual.

I wish i could make it easier on you, give it time and again im so sorry for your loss.

You will be in my thoughts and prayers. Its a very difficult thing to eccept for a while. You will go through stages until you heal, but its a tough road losing a parent. I totally feal the same way you do. Hugs. Debbie

Thankyou so much Debbie your words are of some comfort to me,I am really sorry for you loss also,it is just unbelievable that in this day and age the professionals such as brain surgeons and gps can get it so wrong.I am pleased to hear you are doing so well,keep your strength and attitude towards everything up,your mother would have been so proud of you,it is nice to be able to speak to someone who is going through the same thing,no one else could ever understand this pain.hugs

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There is so much that could be talked about in your post. Getting sick right after retirement. Trips to the hospital and misdiagnosis. The stroke, brain damage and then his death. All of these very valid things that need to be spoken about! I think what I am catching here though it seems to be written between the lines is how bewildered you are. You had no chance to prepare for any of this and now all of a sudden your lovely dad is just GONE. You are still reeling from all the sickness and now your dad is gone and you feel lost and alone, maybe like a child. Floundering.

Where do yo go from here? I wish I could tell you what will happen next but I just lost my own mom is September and I am experiencing all the things you mentioned. The hardest part of going on is just that, the going on.

I go to counselling at Hospice once a month. I have a book called "A Time to Grieve" by Carol Staudacher. That helps. I try to do a lot of self care which is almost impossible as I am a single mom working full time. I think we need to just take one day at a time. There is no plan we can follow but dear god I wish there was.

I wish you love and peace. You don't have to be strong. Let yourself break.

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There is so much that could be talked about in your post. Getting sick right after retirement. Trips to the hospital and misdiagnosis. The stroke, brain damage and then his death. All of these very valid things that need to be spoken about! I think what I am catching here though it seems to be written between the lines is how bewildered you are. You had no chance to prepare for any of this and now all of a sudden your lovely dad is just GONE. You are still reeling from all the sickness and now your dad is gone and you feel lost and alone, maybe like a child. Floundering.

Where do yo go from here? I wish I could tell you what will happen next but I just lost my own mom is September and I am experiencing all the things you mentioned. The hardest part of going on is just that, the going on.

I go to counselling at Hospice once a month. I have a book called "A Time to Grieve" by Carol Staudacher. That helps. I try to do a lot of self care which is almost impossible as I am a single mom working full time. I think we need to just take one day at a time. There is no plan we can follow but dear god I wish there was.

I wish you love and peace. You don't have to be strong. Let yourself break.

I'm so very sorry for your loss,that must be so difficult for you especially as you are a single mum,I am amazed at how much of an understanding you have,it is exactly how I'm feeling,your strength and courage amazes me,I was considering going to counselling myself but am a bit anxious about it,how is that working out?but I think I will however look up the book your talking about,it makes everything that little bit easier knowing I can talk to people like yourself whom know exactly how I am feeling and don't have to pretend.I really appreciate all the thought you put in to your reply,thankyou,take care,and again im really sorry to hear about your mum.

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