Loss of both parents in the last 2 yearrs

[blackpearl]

I lost my father 2.22.21 and my mother 1.27.23. I feel so lost, hurt. The ground had just barely got stable and now completely upheaval.  I felt orphaned in 2021 even though my mother was still here. Because though my father and I were just getting to a better place it was like as soon as we were getting good he's gone and while my world was crumbling everyone around me seemed to move on within days of his passing. I was stuck.  And my mother is my best friend the person  I spoke to about everything.  I had God and my momma.. and I know God is everything.  So it's not a comparison.  But I want my momma. I'm no one's daughter.. who am i now. In the past 5 years lost my grandfather. Father, got divorced and now my mother. I'm so broken. And I know that  there's a lesson.  But it all feels like God really hates me right now. 

[silvereyes]

Hi @blackpearl, I’m very sorry for your losses. It is very hard, and no one taught us how to manage this...I am very, very sorry.  Your message was at the end of March, and I’m sorry there was not a reply, but I hope you still can read us and that you were able to read some of the messages from other members in the forum. It has helped me to cope little by little with the loss of my mom and I hope it may help you too.

This is a hard, strong, arduous road ahead... Maybe will help things like reading topics in this forum and other sites about grieving, keeping a journal of the many things you did or wanted to do, and things you remember the most with them, watching some videos about this topic…You will see others going through similar experiences, not comparing the stories and grief, because grieving the death of our loved ones is devastating and different to each individual. But please remember, you are not alone, the immense love you had for them still exist, no one can erase that or make it disappear, and they knew it. When I see you write your mom is your best friend and the person you can spoke to about everything, just with those words, love, I believe your mom can read and hear them, it shows the vast love you have for her and she has for you.

I hope you are still connecting; we are here sharing with others, trying to support and help the best we can…Grieving is worse than a disease, there is no cure, but I believe sharing our stories and comforting each other through this process is helpful.