Another Saturday of sinking

[WithoutHer]

It's Saturday week 5 for me.  I'm retired but for most working people Saturday is usually the best day of the week. For me it has become a remembrance of the worse loss that could have been thrown at me. I have said before I take care of the animals needs but I am not doing well taking care of me. I force myself to eat but having lost a large portion of my taste many months ago eating is difficult. I'm diabetic and thin and I need calories just to maintain weight. I need them in the most compact form I can get. So you dietetics out there can freak out I'm getting that mostly with carbs and leaning on my insulin to control it.

My taste is very slowly coming back so I will make the changes as I am able.

Before Vickie passed she was concerned about this but when anything protein based feels like sawdust in your mouth what else can be done. I use a Boost Very High calorie drink and a yogurt to start the day. The rest of the day is a crap shoot.

Peanut butter helps.

There was a time Vickie and I had so many good meals together. She loved her meals I would make for her in her Instant Pot. And this a Saturday when one of those would have been made.

They say it gets easier with time but like several here I'm beginning to have a hard time believing that. I forced myself to eat the frozen meals she had ordered for herself in her memory. But I don't know what to do with myself. 

I have repeated things from previous posts in this one but there's no one to talk to. I have been doing a lot of reading about dealing with our grieving. This only has one possible cure and that is being rejoined with our lost love. Our emotions go through the feeling this is a bad nightmare and our loved is going to walk in the door.

Somehow we are supposed to teach ourselves that's not going to happen.

I don't know how to learn a life without Vickie part of it.

 

[RichS]

I share your feelings. I was married for 42 years. My wife passed away last August from leukemia. Since it’s been only 5 weeks for you, I would say that you’re still in shock. I was at that time. Then in January, I joined this board. Almost immediately I discovered the sympathy and caring expressed by our members for each other.

I see you’ve done some posting here. Continue to do this. We not only get to vent our feelings and are heard, but we also discover that although our grief journey is unique for each of us, we all share the same feelings you just expressed during our grief process. You are not alone in your grief. Family and friends cannot always understand our feelings until they themselves experience it. I know that I’ve told many people over the last several months (who have had losses) that I now fully understand their pain. And that’s what helps us get through this tough part of our lives..........UNDERSTANDING. And you’ll find that in abundance on this board.

[KayC]

11 hours ago, WithoutHer said:

Peanut butter helps.

I thought of this cartoon from last Sunday...
 

And I agree, peanut butter helps!  That's why I made peanut butter bars yesterday!

[Boggled]

WithoutHer, I just searched ... concentrated calories ... and I would've thought, "sugar," BUT it's FAT.  

KayC more than likely can go on about fat because she's doing keto;  keto uses fat as a major food source, but I did keto recently for about a year and there's a recipe for "fat bombs" you could try;  using coconut oil.  (Coconut oil is supposed to be a healthy fat, btw) (and it hardens easily when cooled) (and I think it's delicious).  You just melt coconut oil, some kind of sweetener (I like NOW "Better Stevia," but in your case since you want to gain weight you could use sugar, molasses, brown sugar, (though since you're diabetic you might try stevia!) etc.  and some flavoring like cocoa or peanut butter or peanut butter AND cocoa, pour it into a pie dish, leave in the fridge to harden;  (lots of recipes suggest some kind of mold like muffin cups, but I find it much easier just to pour the whole mass into a pie plate and cut it up with a sharp knife before it's completely hardened).  

Just did a search for ... peanut butter cocoa fat bombs:  ... https://www.bing.com/search?q=peanut+butter+cocoa+fat+bombs&cvid=b0c948915cd54cbd962254084a2153ee&aqs=edge..69i57.6549j0j1&FORM=ANNTA1&PC=U531

[KayC]

I have a fat bomb every day to keep me regulated since most of my food is utilized.

This is my favorite recipe but it's also how I burned my hands, so be very careful and don't put the pan on a cold surface!
 

Keto Peanut Butter Fat Bombs
Ingredients

·         8 tablespoons butter (1 stick)

·         1/2 cup brown swerve or erythritol sweetener*

·         1 cup peanut butter

Instructions

1.   Heat a medium size sauce pan over medium heat

2.   Melt butter and add brown sweetener, stir continuously until sweetener dissolves and a thick brown caramel begins to form. This usually takes 6-8 minutes for me.

3.   When the sauce is thickened and looks like caramel remove from heat and stir in the peanut butter until melted.

4.   Spoon into a silicone mini muffin pan and freeze for 15 minutes or until set. (This made 30 mini muffin size fudge bites for me when I filled the trays 3/4 full)

5.   Top with sea salt as desired.

6.   Store in freezer.

22 servings, .7 net carbs each
#recipe
https://thebestketorecipes.com/keto-peanut-butter-fudge-fat-bombs/

*Or use Erythritol and cook 8 min, freeze until set.

 

My other favorite:

Keto Fudge Fat Bombs*

Ingredients:

1 cup almond butter/peanut butter:6.9,4.6
1 cup coconut oil or butter @room temp:0
1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder:8
1/3 cup coconut flour+ ½ cup Almond Flour (or 2 cups Almond Flour:4)
1-2 Tbsp of classic Erythritol sweetener (I doubled from1-2 to 2-4)
1/16 tsp pink Himalayan salt

Instructions:

1.   Mix almond/peanut butter and coconut oil. To the same pot, add dried ingredients and stir until well-combined.

2.   Pour mixture into bowl and transfer to freezer to solidify, 45 minutes, OR pour into silicone mold. Once solidified, remove bowl from freezer and form into 2 Tbsp balls, place on plate and return to freezer for 15-20 minutes. Can use mini meat-baller (38@.43 carbs each) or candy mold 36 @ .46 carbs.

3.   Store in freezer in container.

https://www.justapinch.com/recipes/keto-fudge-fat-bombs-recipe-real.html
#recipe

 

 

[Boggled]

On 3/19/2023 at 5:29 AM, RichS said:

Continue to do this. We not only get to vent our feelings and are heard, but we also discover that although our grief journey is unique for each of us, we all share the same feelings you just expressed during our grief process. You are not alone in your grief. Family and friends cannot always understand our feelings until they themselves experience it. I know that I’ve told many people over the last several months (who have had losses) that I now fully understand their pain. And that’s what helps us get through this tough part of our lives..........UNDERSTANDING. And you’ll find that in abundance on this board.

I agree with RichS.  Not only do I continue to post on here, it's one of the first things I want to look at when I turn on my 'puter.  And the bit about family and friends not understanding ... I think is very true.  Have you ever felt anything like this grief before?  I hadn't.  I know I could not have really empathized with such grief before this, because I never understood its incredible overwhelming power before this.   

KayC, I still wonder about erythritol.  A "sugar alcohol," with the same VOLUME as sugar.  One of the problems with using powdered stevia is that you use so very little of it to equal the sweetness that a far larger volume of sugar gives.  But in fat bombs, I found that powdered stevia worked just fine. (I use a battery-dremel with a whisk in a collet to whisk it into the coconut oil mixture).   And for the amount you use, it's more cost-effective than erythritol, I think.

[Boggled]

1 hour ago, KayC said:

This is my favorite recipe but it's also how I burned my hands, so be very careful and don't put the pan on a cold surface!

KayC, I've been wondering about what happened to your hands!  

[KayC]

4 hours ago, Boggled said:

KayC, I still wonder about erythritol

Lay your worries aside.  We researched this when they came out with CNN news...which you have to remember, the media takes off and runs with things, without checking out STUDIES.
Dr Bikman on Erythritol

 

https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=745261010496343&set=a.242662467422869

At any rate it passes through your body so even its carbs are a moot point.

[KayC]

4 hours ago, Boggled said:

KayC, I've been wondering about what happened to your hands!  

I burned my entire left palm and fingers, one of the fingers all the flesh came off.  It took two months to heal and I have damage from it. I've also had 8 dog bites, more than half of them severe, a botched surgery from an orthopedist (I won't let anyone touch my hands again!) and an overzealous dermatologist and a hard yank from a chow, these involve both hands!  I have 10% strength in them now, all of the injuries took place since the the fall of 2019 to Dec. 2022.

4 hours ago, Boggled said:

powdered stevia

I have a blend I use that uses 1/2 what monk fruit would, I interchange them with no problems.

[Boggled]

20 hours ago, KayC said:

Lay your worries aside.  We researched this

... I've seen reports that it passes through you.  I'm just old fashioned I guess, prefer "natural," though with whatever is done to stevia to remove the bitterness, it's not completely natural either I suppose.  Certainly the keto cookbooks I have all use erythritol.  

I learned to make stevia glycerite from powdered stevia and glycerin, and used that for a long time, but then when I figured out I could just whip powdered stevia into most sweet recipes, that eliminated having to make it into glycerite.

KayC, that must have been a terrible day when you burned your hand!   Really terrible!  I'm sorry it happened to you!   AND the surgery!  AND the dog bites!  Your poor hands!  I am sorry these things happened to you.  

[KayC]

@Boggled This is my favorite site about sweeteners! *Keto Sweeteners & Low Carb Sugar Substitutes | Low Carb Yum

20 hours ago, Boggled said:

KayC, that must have been a terrible day when you burned your hand!   Really terrible!  I'm sorry it happened to you!   AND the surgery!  AND the dog bites!  Your poor hands!  I am sorry these things happened to you.  

Thank you!

And you can blend crystals into powder, no need to buy powdered sweetener at higher prices, I do that.

 

[Boggled]

From your favorite site about sweeteners, KayC, I agree with it!  I avoid maltodextrin!

"As long as you use a pure stevia extract with no maltodextrin or dextrose (another sugar from corn), stevia is keto-friendly."

and I appreciate that site's warning about Splenda and sucralose (emphasis added by me):

"Recent studies show that sucralose does break down when heated so it isn’t a good choice when baking as potentially toxic chemicals are released. It’s also been shown to increase appetite making which can result in overeating."

[Boggled]

On 3/18/2023 at 6:13 PM, WithoutHer said:

So you dietetics out there can freak out I'm getting that mostly with carbs and leaning on my insulin to control it.

My husband was taken off insulin several months before he departed this world from "suspicious spots on his liver," for which we were never able to get to a diagnosis though the ER told us it was almost certainly cancer.  One thing I'd researched, since he had to use metformin to control blood sugar levels because he was taken off insulin, was metformin side effects.  ... sigh.  I'll never know what really happened in his body!  (cry again).

Commonly reported side effects of metformin include: lactic acidosis, diarrhea, nausea, nausea and vomiting, vomiting, and flatulence. Other side effects include: asthenia, and decreased vitamin b12 serum concentrate - Search (bing.com)

[KayC]

20 hours ago, Boggled said:

"As long as you use a pure stevia extract with no maltodextrin or dextrose (another sugar from corn), stevia is keto-friendly."

Agree!

[Boggled]

uh oh, a study on erythritol linking it to heart attack and stroke:

Cleveland Clinic Study Finds Common Artificial Sweetener Linked to Higher Rates of Heart Attack and Stroke – Cleveland Clinic Newsroom

[KayC]

It doesn't show causation, says it needs followup studies, nor does it say how much you would have to ingest daily...this is, again, pure speculation.