Dave's Story

[Daves Mom]

On August 2nd, 2022, we received the telephone call telling us that "Dave was gone". He had been found deceased in his car which was parked about 10 feet from the door to his cardiologist's office. His wife had become worried because she could not get a return via phone or texts. She knew Dav'es plans for the day and went out searching for him. Seated in his closed up car, it is estimated that he had been dead for 3-5 hours. She flagged down a police car and the horror began. It was thought he had died from a massive heart attack but since a definite cause was unknown, the coriner took the body and would not release it for, now we know, three months. Three months he was kept on ice like a piece of meat...it did provide my youngest son and I the opportunity to spend a little while with him once turned over to the funeral home. I will never forget how peaceful he looked...I sobbed over the possibility that I had not told him enough how much he was loved, and that he was so precious to us...I kissed him on the cheek and tucked one of his dad's handkerchiefs which already held many tears, tucked into his gown.  I am so angry at God for not allowing me to at least be with him....to make sure he was not afraid, that he was not in pain...that I was with him like I had been for other family members when they crossed. WHY????  I'm angry because his death was so needless....If he had received the surgery he needed for eight herniated discs, Dave would not have relied on alcohol and drugs to get through each day.  Several of the family believe that there is more to the story than his wife is telling. My sister, who lives with us and was always Dave's coheart in crime, says that David came to her in a dream that first night...he told her to tell me that he was okay and "not to hurt so bad"...he told her "the truth will come out soon",  I will always believe that she may "not have pulled the trigger but she did put the gun to his head". She is now in Grief Rehab for 30 days.... People have asked if I was doing okay and if I needed anything, I tell them  'not unless it will bring my son back. Everyone loved David....more than he ever knew. I miss him....I want to put my arms around his neck and kiss him on the cheek. I don't know if this will help...maybe the ears will make a difference ut right now, there is no help that will bring him pack....there is no peace....

[Daves Mom]

It has been a very tough few days....I miss my David so much and I keep thinking that this has to be a nightmare that I will wake from and all will be well with my world. I just can not believe he is gone...and so needlessly. I want to just let go of my pain and grief...but, I am afraid that once I let my grief out, that I will never be able to regain stability. I want to know that he is okay...that he is in the arms of God and is not hurting or afraid. The morning that he was to be cremated, I woke hysterical  with the thought of his body being put through the fire. I don't know how parents come through the death of a child ~ even if he is 50. I just don't know. 

[Grandma Tracy]

I'm not sure how to come through with the loss of my Daughter Ashley who is forever 25. I take every day as it comes one at a time. 

[Daves Mom]

Tracy, that is all that we can do...but, right now, it is one hour at a time. I don't know how parents survive with the loss of an adult child. I've surrounded my self with the few items of David that I have...and, although painful, I find some comfort. There are so many times that I think...this has got to be a bad dream~I will wake to find everything back to normal...but, while my mind tarries on these things, my heart knows better. So, I dwell on the laughter and silliness and comfort that David gave to me. They say it will get better, the pain will ease but, in reality, I do not want the pain to go away or the sorrow to ease because that fills the space that David's passing left. I will be thinking of you and will ask God to walk with you through these times.