Members Pokycem Posted January 1, 2012 Members Report Share Posted January 1, 2012 My Dad has been gone for 3 months now, this was my first holiday without him. It's rough but through this website and prayer I find just enough strength to get me through each day! Reading the bible is always of great comfort and I know that God is a healer because I do realize this is a broken heart that I'm dealing with. Each year I would do all my dad's Christmas shopping and this year just felt strange, he wasn't calling me to remind me not to forget to go get his babies(grandkids) stuff! My dad and I had talked about death before, and I knew just what he told me to do, but really when he was talking to me I wouldnt take it to heart because I didnt want to ever have to face the fact that one day daddy would be gone. A year ago one of my dad's close friend's wife died, I have never been one to go to funerals because I dont like to see people sad but, I saw how hurt my dad was so I went with him to support him. Dad and I would talk about how his friend would go to the graveyard everyday and how that was unhealthy for him, so dad would go and try to take him out to kind of get his mind off of it. So when daddy passed I found myself going to his grave site almost everyday and one day as I was talking to him I thought about that conversation that he and I had on visiting the grave site to often, and I told daddy that I remembered what he said and that I wouldn't come everyday, but now that I don't go everyday I find myself to be more depressed. I stay in my room all day , since I have been out of work for the Christmas holiday's it's day's I don't get out of bed and I just think about my daddy and how we used to support one another and cut up with eachother. When stupid thoughts start to enter into my head I start to pray and I read my bible. Lastnight I didnt go to watchnight service I called my kids in my room and our family brought in the new year praying and giving thanks to God! Now waking up this morning it's like wow daddy aint here, because he would always call me and say what you doing lil girl I havent seen or heard from you since last year. My daddy and I used to talk on the phone everyday and it's things like that that's hard to shake. Normally when people get on my nerves that's the person I would call and he would tell me how to handle the situation and now I dont have that person anymore, I mean I know that I have Jesus and I do talk to him, but I miss having that physical person to go to, so somewhat that is what this website is to me, an outlet! I thank God for finding it and I have been encouraged and try to encourage others.I feel more emotional since daddy passed is this normal, I mean people can say something to me and I almost want to cry, its like I take everything personal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members frank Posted January 1, 2012 Members Report Share Posted January 1, 2012 I feel more emotional since daddy passed is this normal, I mean people can say something to me and I almost want to cry, its like I take everything personal.I too feel the same on the loss of my mother. I was so angry at everyone during Christmas and New Years. I hated the sound of the Christmas Carols and despised all of the excitement over New Years.I'm glad it's all over - and hopefully, one day these holiday festivities will not hurt as much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Linda43 Posted January 3, 2012 Members Report Share Posted January 3, 2012 I lost my momma 3 1/3 weeks.ago. I am.the someway very emotional usually nothing bothers me and I.let it.roll off my shoulders but now.I.just breakdown.and cry.My mom lived with me on and.off.for 18.years ..she was not only my momma but my best friend, my protector. She was.there everyday of my life for 43 years and I miss her more than any words could ever express. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Pokycem Posted January 4, 2012 Author Members Report Share Posted January 4, 2012 Linda,Just let the memories that you and your mother had for 43 years motivate you to keep going. My dad was my everything as well he was not only my dad but my kid's dad so when I say I understand you I really mean it. Just take one day at a time and pray and read your bible. I'll keep you in my prayers.FuzzybabyI lost my momma 3 1/3 weeks.ago. I am.the someway very emotional usually nothing bothers me and I.let it.roll off my shoulders but now.I.just breakdown.and cry.My mom lived with me on and.off.for 18.years ..she was not only my momma but my best friend, my protector. She was.there everyday of my life for 43 years and I miss her more than any words could ever express. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members debbie8800 Posted January 4, 2012 Members Report Share Posted January 4, 2012 I hope you are able to find peace and comfort some how through this situation. Its obvious that you loved your mother very much. I totally understand. I hope 2012 gets better for you as the year progresses.You are in my thoughts and prayers Linda. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Linda43 Posted January 4, 2012 Members Report Share Posted January 4, 2012 Debbie as I have been thinking about you too! Hope you find the answers you.are looking for. I have been fighting some inner feelings of.packing a bag and running away. My fiance has been here fir me but have this huge urge to go away and start over without anyone and maybe can find some inner happiness. I miss mom.so much... I cry all.the time and want to.physically see her, touch her, feel her hand touch mine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Linda43 Posted January 4, 2012 Members Report Share Posted January 4, 2012 Debbie as I have been thinking about you too! Hope you find the answers you.are looking for. I have been fighting some inner feelings of.packing a bag and running away. My fiance has been here fir me but have this huge urge to go away and start over without anyone and maybe can find some inner happiness. I miss mom.so much... I cry all.the time and want to.physically see her, touch her, feel her hand touch mine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members debbie8800 Posted January 4, 2012 Members Report Share Posted January 4, 2012 Debbie as I have been thinking about you too! Hope you find the answers you.are looking for. I have been fighting some inner feelings of.packing a bag and running away. My fiance has been here fir me but have this huge urge to go away and start over without anyone and maybe can find some inner happiness. I miss mom.so much... I cry all.the time and want to.physically see her, touch her, feel her hand touch mine. Linda, I may go to florida. I am tired of the rentals to share in Jersey and can't take it anymore. I will know more tommorrow, possibly a 2 bdrm 600.00 in cape coral, I am so scared what if i don't like it? Jersey is so expensive. If you are the one who lives in Seattle. I have been there, was in Federal Way, I remember Ivery's fish place loved it. Food was delicious.I have this chance a friend i am staying with is wants to go to florida so i would go with her. I am afraid to be alone though, i hope i can manage. Its a new part of florida i have never been, down near Ft. Myers, it looks nice. Tonight i was thinking about my mom alot especially when i am around strangers I just feel an emptiness that i cannot go visit her, see her and bring her stuff. There is such an empty void there. She was so loving and appreciative of me. Jersey is cold and depressing now so I this lady funny enough from jersey has a place i could rent. Pray for me.If i don't go i will have to find a place somehow as the girl i am staying with' her son will be back in a few weeks. Oh well will see, i could picture me all alone in florida but it looks nice. praying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Linda43 Posted January 4, 2012 Members Report Share Posted January 4, 2012 I have vacationed in that part of Florida and it's really nice. I Think it would be good for you. I lived on Maui for about a year about 6 years ago thinking about packing a bag and going back for awhile. Just leave everything I know back on the mainland. Just me and moms ashes I have. I got this locket necklace that has a fee if her ashes in it so I always feel close to her. Missing her alot this morning Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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