Anniversary

[bblank]

I'm coming up on the 1 year anniversary of my dad passing away after a 5 year battle with prostate cancer. I have buried my feelings and emotions through it all to make sure others are ok and not to burden my loved ones with my emotions. I did some journaling but it is hard to put things down in words. What coping techniques have worked for you? Or have you tried? I know everyone processes things differently. I may look into BetterHelp but my life is really busy and finances are tight. Thank you for reading this. It's nice to have a place to talk with people in similar situations.

 

B

[Martin79]

I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss. My mother passed away exactly one year ago (8 March 2022).

Rest in peace mom, I love you 

Regards, 

M. 

[Traz]

Hi bblank,

I truly am sorry about your dad and the first anniversary is a difficult one. 

My sisters and I went out to honour our mom at her favourite restaurant on the first anniversary. Are there any special traditions, foods, hobbies that you could celebrate his life with on that day? 

To cope with my mom's death I listened to podcasts on grief, watched YouTube videos, wrote in my journal and I even bought a special journal, solely for writing to my mom in. I write to her about everything and nothing. Like I'm just separated from her for a brief time and I'm catching her up on what's been going on in my life. I tell her my worries and my joys...I tell her about my grief... just how I would talk to her in life. That has really helped me. 

Sounds cliched, but being in nature or whenever I go to a beach or a lake, I feel calmer. I would listen to audiobooks as I walked on the local trails. You need peace amongst the chaos of overwhelming emotions sometimes. 

I hope this helps, even a little bit.

Sending you peaceful thoughts,

Traz

[tomato]

Like another commenter, I like to spend time alone in nature.

I also imagine that my parents are accompanying me through life and will sometimes stop to appreciate the beauty even of small things like a nice sunset, as if they are there to enjoy it too.

I also kept their email and cell phones for now, and will email and text them life updates. Even if I know they will never see it, it still makes me feel as though I am connected to them.

I don't plan to do anything on the anniversary of their deaths other than lighting a Yarhzeit candle, bc I don't want to remember them that way, but I'm sure I will come up with a tradition for other special days like birthdays. My mom made really good spicy olive bread and I have the recipe. I may make loaves of that and give them away on her birthday, as she was a very generous baker.

Even if you aren't Jewish, maybe lighting a candle to mark the anniversary will feel healing to you. We usually light them and leave them in the sink until they burn down, just in case they are tipped over to prevent a fire.