Lifetime of loss

[Milogue]

This is more of a question of duration.  I have tried for the last 40 years of my life  to learn to accept and to live with my grief in it's entirety. It began with the loss of my first wife when she was just a month away from giving birth of our first child.  I have never come to terms with that to even understand nor of those to follow. Years later I lost a daughter tragically when she just 17.  In 2013 just before Christmas I lost my only son.  He was just 26 years of age.  I found out yesterday something I did not realize since his death.  A year before his passing someone brought us a newly born puppy.  The mother had unfortunately smothered the other pups and herself trying to escape a birthing crate.  My son and I bottle fed and raised her to something I didn't again realize since.  We named her Charlotte and every day since taking her she has never left my side, or I out her eyesight.  It made going to the store difficult when she would squeeze out of an opening in the car window. She always got in the store and always found me. But she had a way of being there at a time of need.  Yesterday I realized she wasn't by my side for the first time when the morning broke.  I started to panic some when I couldn't find her. After a long calling for and walking I eventually found her. She died yesterday and the rest of me with her. It was at that moment when I realized that all my grief that I carried for those before her,  she carried it for me.  I know now I have no purpose in life anymore nor the will to as I am the only one still here.  Is it wrong to just give up and say enough is enough!!  How long does it take?