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Losing my Mandy at a speed of 70


sunset924

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5 weeks ago tonight, after midnight on black Friday I lost my precious 23 year old daughter in a car accident. She was the passenger in the crash. Her boyfriend also lost his life. The driver survived with many broken bones including a broken neck. This doesn't seem to stop him from posting "go pats" on Sundays on his Facebook!!! The driver, drunk, tried to make a turn at 70mph... The passenger side of the vehicle hit a cement retaining wall, this is where my daughter sat! Between her and that wall was a car door! My daughter was pronounced at the scene of the crash... My life has forever changed! Although I was able to make a Christmas for my 4 Foster children who are all like daughters to me, and get through the holidays I find myself here tonight as I don't have all them last minute things to do that normally keep me awake late at night. I am so lost without my "sunshine." My world is so dark now. Please tell me how some of you get through this and cope with the pain. Although I have such a huge support system in my family and friends the bottom line is I'm really all alone! None of them know or can possibly understand how I feel as she wasn't their daughter, she was mine. I tell my girls it's our job to now keep her alive in our hearts and in spirit, I tell them that we need to talk about Mandy and share feelings, stories, and memories, but it doesn't lesson my pain... I just feel so alone and I don't know how to get through this... I miss her so much...

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Rachel ~ I'm so sorry that you have lost the sunshine in your life. How we get throught this darkness is just as you say:

I tell them that we need to talk about Mandy and share feelings, stories, and memories, but it doesn't lesson my pain...

Your loss is so new, so raw. Surviving our children strikes at the core of our beliefs. I know you are hurting, how can you not. A strong support base is a good start and yes its not enough at times when people haven't shared this experience.

We mainly post here on Loss of an Adult child. The support there comes from knowing and living through this journey.

We talk about the children we have lost, our lives and the things that we do to keep their memories alive. We also talk about our lives, share our thoughts and feelings. It truly is a place of unconditional understanding and support.

I'm Micheal's mum. Come this January Mike will have been gone 5yrs. While life has gone on around me, I still miss him more than I can say.

Come when you can, post if you like, just read if you need. But above all tell us about Mandy ~ Share the life of your sunshine...as I always say, our kids are so much more than the day they died.

Trudi

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Mandy's Mom,

I lost my Chrissy 5 weeks and 4 days ago. There was no medical reason for it, nothing in the tox report- nothing. This beautiful, healthy, joyful and energetic mother of two small girls simply went to sleep and didn't wake up. We still haven't recovered from the absolute shock of it. But we are a family with a strong Christian faith and we are trusting that we know where she is and is there waiting for the rest of us.

We are like you, in that we are a support system for each other. Talking about Chrissy and sharing our memories and pictures has helped us in our darkest moments, and this will be a great help to you, as well. My best friend lost her son many years ago to leukemia, and she was there for me when Chrissy left. The first thing she said to me was that Chrissy was just beyond my sight, that she could hear me and that she was stronger, now, than she had ever been in this life and I believe that to be true. Your Mandy hears you and knows your sadness. I talk to Chrissy all the time, and to God and I feel their love and comfort, and I know that Chrissy hears me everytime I tell her how much I love her. Mandy will hear you, too.

As much as I loved my precious daughter, I know God loves her more, and as much as she was mine for 33 years, she is much more His. He loves you, as well, and will give you the strength you need.

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i am sitting here waiting for hubby to wake up so we can take another walk around the hospital unit to see how his heart rate and blood pressure will respond, and i notced your post of earlier today. i dont have much time to write much right now, so will only say welcome and i will repeat what both trudi and robyn have said...it is important to speak of your sweet daughter, to keep her memory alive, and it is also as trudi said, important to remember that our angels' lives were so much more than the day they died.

please, when you are able, come to loss of adult child to share your sweet sunshine. i am so very sorry for the loss of your sweet angel.

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