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Losing my Mandy at a speed of 70


sunset924

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5 weeks ago tonight, after midnight on black Friday I lost my precious 23 year old daughter in a car accident. She was the passenger in the crash. Her boyfriend also lost his life. The driver survived with many broken bones including a broken neck. This doesn't seem to stop him from posting "go pats" on Sundays on his Facebook!!! The driver, drunk, tried to make a turn at 70mph... The passenger side of the vehicle hit a cement retaining wall, this is where my daughter sat! Between her and that wall was a car door! My daughter was pronounced at the scene of the crash... My life has forever changed! Although I was able to make a Christmas for my 4 Foster children who are all like daughters to me, and get through the holidays I find myself here tonight as I don't have all them last minute things to do that normally keep me awake late at night. I am so lost without my "sunshine." My world is so dark now. Please tell me how some of you get through this and cope with the pain. Although I have such a huge support system in my family and friends the bottom line is I'm really all alone! None of them know or can possibly understand how I feel as she wasn't their daughter, she was mine. I tell my girls it's our job to now keep her alive in our hearts and in spirit, I tell them that we need to talk about Mandy and share feelings, stories, and memories, but it doesn't lesson my pain... I just feel so alone and I don't know how to get through this... I miss her so much...

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