Last words

[Kawalsh52]

My Dad passed away in 2006, I was 16. I am now 33, the 17th anniversary is around the corner. All these years later, I’m still haunted by the last words I said to him, “I hate you,” all over me being mad about him letting my sister get the front seat in the car tht Sunday. Fast forward to Monday morning, when I get escorted to the school office. (I knew something was wrong bc if you get escorted and not called over the PA, it’s something bad) he had a massive heart attack. I told him, whispering in his ear how much I loved him and didn’t mean what I said the night before. But it still hurts and weighs on me, the last thing he heard me say when he was well n good, was I hate you, all bc he let my sister have the front seat. 

[MoVo]

Kawalsh52. I am so sorry for your loss. I lost both of my parents unexpectedly this past year, and I think about the last few things I said to them all the time. I think about the last argument I had with my mom and how stupid it seems right now. I think about what I would have done differently, what I could have done differently- how I could have been a better child and a better person to them. And, in the end, no matter how badly we want to go back and make things right, we cannot- and I hate that. 

I am not sure what your beliefs are when it comes to what happens after we die- to be honest, given the year that I have had, I am not truly sure what my beliefs are either. But I like to think that our parents and loved ones are looking down on us with nothing but love and approval. Your dad knew you did not hate him. You were angry in the moment. Just like my mom knew and knows now that I loved her very much. 

Sorry if that was not helpful- your words resonated with me.