rough just rough missing my dad/best friends

[Pokycem]

Yesterday was so sad and fake for me, trying to be strong for my kids and my mom makes me kind of feel fake,because I'm the type of person thats upbeat and real. My dad was my everything , my best friend. my financial advisor, my very own cheerleader, my number one supporter! Now that he is gone I feel as though I exist without reasons. I mean I love the Lord and I know that he does'nt make mistakes and I'm not taking anything away from him but knowing that he doesnt make any mistakes doesnt take away the emptiness that I feel. I pray that the Lord is not upset with me for feeling this way. It's been three months and I still feel like im in a bad dream and noone will wake me up! I try I try but it's just so hard! I realize that the Lord is the author and finisher of all our fate so I try not to question why. Yesterday daddy would have come over he wouldnt have ate but would've wanted a to go plate his wife wouldnt have came and my daughter and I would have argued over who is daddy's baby! Today mostly everybody is gone and I'm in my pjs and I just want to go to my special place and cry and disappear. I get up daily and pray and read the bible to keep myself sane because I know that the devil will use death to pull u into a dark place!

[frank]

Yesterday was so sad and fake for me, trying to be strong for my kids and my mom makes me kind of feel fake,because I'm the type of person thats upbeat and real. My dad was my everything , my best friend. my financial advisor, my very own cheerleader, my number one supporter! Now that he is gone I feel as though I exist without reasons. I mean I love the Lord and I know that he does'nt make mistakes and I'm not taking anything away from him but knowing that he doesnt make any mistakes doesnt take away the emptiness that I feel. I pray that the Lord is not upset with me for feeling this way. It's been three months and I still feel like im in a bad dream and noone will wake me up! I try I try but it's just so hard! I realize that the Lord is the author and finisher of all our fate so I try not to question why. Yesterday daddy would have come over he wouldnt have ate but would've wanted a to go plate his wife wouldnt have came and my daughter and I would have argued over who is daddy's baby! Today mostly everybody is gone and I'm in my pjs and I just want to go to my special place and cry and disappear. I get up daily and pray and read the bible to keep myself sane because I know that the devil will use death to pull u into a dark place!

Yes, Christmas Eve and day were hard for me too.

My first Christmas without my mama...and I felt so sad.

God bless them all.

[debbie8800]

Yes, Christmas Eve and day were hard for me too.

My first Christmas without my mama...and I felt so sad.

God bless them all.

To fuzzybaby:

I agree with everything you said and more. It was said very well by the way. I feel the same way since my mom died 6 weeks ago. She was my supporter and we were so so close. I struggle to get thru the days without her. Some days im crying others i am ok. I know what you mean about fake, just going through the motions and not really feeling very festive.

I don't know why god took my mother away from me, maybe it was her time. But i am left here all alone, only daughter and it is very challenging. I miss her so much. Lord have mercy. Deb

[Pokycem]

Deb just remember that the Lord doesn't make mistakes and when you're feeling down try reading psalms 121 it has been a great help to me!

To fuzzybaby:

I agree with everything you said and more. It was said very well by the way. I feel the same way since my mom died 6 weeks ago. She was my supporter and we were so so close. I struggle to get thru the days without her. Some days im crying others i am ok. I know what you mean about fake, just going through the motions and not really feeling very festive.

I don't know why god took my mother away from me, maybe it was her time. But i am left here all alone, only daughter and it is very challenging. I miss her so much. Lord have mercy. Deb

[ada33r]

Hi Fuzzybaby,

I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. I haven't been able to talk to my dad for years now and the feeling of emptiness still brings me to tears. I think for us girls our dads have a special place in our hearts and I feel so blessed because my young daughter has hers with us all the time (he works from home).

I take delight in sharing what has given me comfort from the Scriptures with those who want to hear, and I feel even happier when I find someone as yourself that reads her own Bible to find that comfort. I too enjoy Psalms 121!! We are comforted by the fact that God is "the One guarding you who cannot possibly be drowsy" (Verse 3,4) Not for a moment will He close his eyes to the needs of his people, day and night we are the objects of his vigilance. His comfort is not only for the present, verse 5 says that "he IS guarding us" and verses 7 and 8 the focus is shifted saying "Jehovah himself WILL guard you. We are assured that His help will extend into the future, no matter where we go, no matter what calamity we face, we will never be outside of His helping hand.

I wanted to share a few other scriptures with you that explain why people die, it's very easy to blame God but this will cause us to turn away from him or develop a spirit of bitterness against him, not saying at all that you are on the contrary but that's the common feeling. At Romans 5:12 the apostle Paul explains very simply that our forefather Adam rebelled against his Creator and was justly sentenced to death. "Just as through one man sin entered into the world and death through sin, and thus death spread to all men because they all had sinned". Since we are his descendants, we are sinners and subject to death at any time. We have no guarantee of continuing life.

Wise King Solomon makes it clear that "time and unforeseen occurrence can befall" (Ecclesiastes 9:11) anyone at any time, be it a fatal accident or a sudden terminal illness. One can also be born with a congenital defect that shortens his life. Solomon also explains that with God there is "a time and a season" for everything. God has set a time to heal, not just one or a few, but ALL believing mankind during the reign of Christ Jesus. "For he must rule as king until God has put all enemies under his feet. As the last enemy, death is to be brought to nothing" (1 Corinthians 15:25, 26)

Nobody is exempt from the calamities afflicting the human race and are thus subject to experiences common to mankind. Fuzzybaby, you are definitely not alone, not only are we here on the forum but you have found the best way to find real comfort, the Bible. I hope to hear from you soon. :-)

Much love,

Ada

[Pokycem]

Ada,

I'm so glad that you wrote to me it means alot and yes I wear out psalms 121 I was even singing it as they lowered him down in the grave. I know that death is a hard thing but I also know that regardless of what man tries to do to a person if GOd doesn't ok it it will not happen! I see the works of the Lord because I'm save I dont think i would have been able to handle this otherwise I'm pretty sure i would have done harm to his wife and probably wound up on a psych ward, I'm married so I have a physical rock to lean on in my time of weakness . My dad and I where the best of friends any and every time he needed me I was right there so I dont have any regrets as far as doing my daughterly duties. I'm at a place in my life that I can lean and depend on Jesus, so I know he(Jesus) knew what he was doing! Since my dad has passed my mom moved in with me and I think that was good because she helps bring peace to my kids and husband. I'm trying not to get to the point where I'm not in control anymore but sometimes I find myself in bed all day. Im a teacher's assistant and I think this was the Lord's doing as well because those babies motivate me to get up and go everyday. Two of my students experienced death after I lost my dad and one of them comes to me with a different question almost every day I try so we get strength from each other.Death should be a time of rejoicing in a sense, but all the evilness that comes out from family and other voltures makes the grieving process harder. Thanks again Ada it's good to have someone to talk to and someone who can give me the best references(scriptures) to go to for explaination and understand. Thanks and God Bless

Hi Fuzzybaby,

I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. I haven't been able to talk to my dad for years now and the feeling of emptiness still brings me to tears. I think for us girls our dads have a special place in our hearts and I feel so blessed because my young daughter has hers with us all the time (he works from home).

I take delight in sharing what has given me comfort from the Scriptures with those who want to hear, and I feel even happier when I find someone as yourself that reads her own Bible to find that comfort. I too enjoy Psalms 121!! We are comforted by the fact that God is "the One guarding you who cannot possibly be drowsy" (Verse 3,4) Not for a moment will He close his eyes to the needs of his people, day and night we are the objects of his vigilance. His comfort is not only for the present, verse 5 says that "he IS guarding us" and verses 7 and 8 the focus is shifted saying "Jehovah himself WILL guard you. We are assured that His help will extend into the future, no matter where we go, no matter what calamity we face, we will never be outside of His helping hand.

I wanted to share a few other scriptures with you that explain why people die, it's very easy to blame God but this will cause us to turn away from him or develop a spirit of bitterness against him, not saying at all that you are on the contrary but that's the common feeling. At Romans 5:12 the apostle Paul explains very simply that our forefather Adam rebelled against his Creator and was justly sentenced to death. "Just as through one man sin entered into the world and death through sin, and thus death spread to all men because they all had sinned". Since we are his descendants, we are sinners and subject to death at any time. We have no guarantee of continuing life.

Wise King Solomon makes it clear that "time and unforeseen occurrence can befall" (Ecclesiastes 9:11) anyone at any time, be it a fatal accident or a sudden terminal illness. One can also be born with a congenital defect that shortens his life. Solomon also explains that with God there is "a time and a season" for everything. God has set a time to heal, not just one or a few, but ALL believing mankind during the reign of Christ Jesus. "For he must rule as king until God has put all enemies under his feet. As the last enemy, death is to be brought to nothing" (1 Corinthians 15:25, 26)

Nobody is exempt from the calamities afflicting the human race and are thus subject to experiences common to mankind. Fuzzybaby, you are definitely not alone, not only are we here on the forum but you have found the best way to find real comfort, the Bible. I hope to hear from you soon. :-)

Much love,

Ada

[ada33r]

Fuzzybaby,

Your kind words mean so much to me. I also agree with leaning to your husband for support, he will help you even by just holding you. Even though sometimes only God can understand our feelings and our emotions our loved ones, such as your husband, can be such an amazing support. You mentioned your mom moved in, I think that is such a loving gesture from you. She is also grieving and having all of you around can prove to be very healing. How is she doing?

Sometimes is ok to let go of your grief in the form of tears. Remember, Jesus himself cried when he heard his friend Lazarus had died, and that's even when he knew that he was going to bring him back to life. (John 11: 32-44) Death is unnatural. We have also the examples of Job, David and Jeremiah who didn't bottle up their expressions of grief. There is a book Leavetaking--When and How to Say Goodbye that says: "Don't let others dictate how you should act or feel. The grieving process works differently with everyone. By trying to force yourself into a mold created by others or by society as a whole, you stunt your growth toward restored emotional health". So let your tears come, they help wash away sorrow.

I agree with your statement that the day of death should be in a sense a time of rejoicing. In fact, that is supported by Ecclesiastes 7:1 "A name is better than good oil, and the day of death than the day of one's being born", for we have already made a name for ourselves in the eyes of our Father, Jehovah through our lifetime.

What kind of questions do your students ask you? It seems that children experience death in a very different way. Have you used the Scriptures to help them too? I have a very good article that talks about how to explain death to children and help them with the use of the Scriptures. If you would like I can email it to you. Like I said Fuzzybaby, I don't share these things to gain praise but to simply share what has given me much comfort. The praise all goes to our Maker, Jehovah and I am pleased to have found you who takes these things with a great sincerity of heart. Thank YOU!

Much love,

Ada

[Pokycem]

Ada,

She ask me if her brother and my daddy where having a birthday with God in heaven, I really didnt know how to answer her so I said well baby I think that's the best place to have a birthday party, I try to incorporate God without really using his name, not because I'm ashame but just because you know people have different beliefs and its frowned at work. I would love for you to email me the article my email address is Pokycem@yahoo.com. I think about my daddy everyday and just when i about to do something that is unpleasing to God or myself IGod moves and my entire train of thought changes. The other day I was thinking in a manner I shouldnt and I was looking for an important paper and I found a card that my dad had given me years ago and it had a scripture on it and I just started laughing and said both my dad's got my back . I'm really going through as far as the lost of my dad and having to deal with the greed and evilness of people that arises once a person has passed. My dad had remarried and his wife is doing everything in the world to make life difficult for me, so its kind of hard to grieve in peace, but God is still good and is working things out for me as we speak. Ada I really appreciate you talking to me , you give me just what I need , you speak with a seasoned tongue and you really feel and understand where im coming from. Again God knows just what to do and how to do it, it was'nt just by chance that I found or even looked for this website.

Thanks, Fuzzybaby

Fuzzybaby,

Your kind words mean so much to me. I also agree with leaning to your husband for support, he will help you even by just holding you. Even though sometimes only God can understand our feelings and our emotions our loved ones, such as your husband, can be such an amazing support. You mentioned your mom moved in, I think that is such a loving gesture from you. She is also grieving and having all of you around can prove to be very healing. How is she doing?

Sometimes is ok to let go of your grief in the form of tears. Remember, Jesus himself cried when he heard his friend Lazarus had died, and that's even when he knew that he was going to bring him back to life. (John 11: 32-44) Death is unnatural. We have also the examples of Job, David and Jeremiah who didn't bottle up their expressions of grief. There is a book Leavetaking--When and How to Say Goodbye that says: "Don't let others dictate how you should act or feel. The grieving process works differently with everyone. By trying to force yourself into a mold created by others or by society as a whole, you stunt your growth toward restored emotional health". So let your tears come, they help wash away sorrow.

I agree with your statement that the day of death should be in a sense a time of rejoicing. In fact, that is supported by Ecclesiastes 7:1 "A name is better than good oil, and the day of death than the day of one's being born", for we have already made a name for ourselves in the eyes of our Father, Jehovah through our lifetime.

What kind of questions do your students ask you? It seems that children experience death in a very different way. Have you used the Scriptures to help them too? I have a very good article that talks about how to explain death to children and help them with the use of the Scriptures. If you would like I can email it to you. Like I said Fuzzybaby, I don't share these things to gain praise but to simply share what has given me much comfort. The praise all goes to our Maker, Jehovah and I am pleased to have found you who takes these things with a great sincerity of heart. Thank YOU!

Much love,

Ada

[Pokycem]

Ada,

She ask me if her brother and my daddy where having a birthday with God in heaven, I really didnt know how to answer her so I said well baby I think that's the best place to have a birthday party, I try to incorporate God without really using his name, not because I'm ashame but just because you know people have different beliefs and its frowned at work. I would love for you to email me the article my email address is Pokycem@yahoo.com. I think about my daddy everyday and just when im about to do something that is unpleasing to God or myself God moves and my entire train of thought changes. The other day I was thinking in a manner I shouldnt and I was looking for an important paper and I found a card that my dad had given me years ago and it had a scripture on it and I just started laughing and said both my dad's got my back . I'm really going through as far as the lost of my dad and having to deal with the greed and evilness of people that arises once a person has passed. My dad had remarried and his wife is doing everything in the world to make life difficult for me, so its kind of hard to grieve in peace, but God is still good and is working things out for me as we speak. Ada I really appreciate you talking to me , you give me just what I need , you speak with a seasoned tongue and you really feel and understand where im coming from. Again God knows just what to do and how to do it, it was'nt just by chance that I found or even looked for this website. Ada I've been trying to handle my feeling by looking at it this way~God gave his only begotten son so that we could have life , so if he gave his child for us I should be happy about the time( 34)years I had with my dad and not go through the what ifs and I wish I would have. My dad and I had a close relationship and I know that he loved me and he knew I loved him. I love your responses because they not only calm me they take me to another place I feel spiritually. It challenges my mind to think of different things that happened in the bible that can get me through I really truely appreciate you for allowing God to use you to assist me. This website is a outlet for me, people that are around me see me as this tough/kindhearted woman that doesnt feel hurt. I'm not saying I wont pity from anyone just saying I think most people just wish I would get over it and the others are waiting on me to crack so they will have something to talk about. Again Thanks,

Fuzzybaby

[Pokycem]

Ada,

She ask me if her brother and my daddy where having a birthday with God in heaven, I really didnt know how to answer her so I said well baby I think that's the best place to have a birthday party, I try to incorporate God without really using his name, not because I'm ashame but just because you know people have different beliefs and its frowned at work. I would love for you to email me the article my email address is Pokycem@yahoo.com. I think about my daddy everyday and just when im about to do something that is unpleasing to God or myself God moves and my entire train of thought changes. The other day I was thinking in a manner I shouldnt and I was looking for an important paper and I found a card that my dad had given me years ago and it had a scripture on it and I just started laughing and said both my dad's got my back . I'm really going through as far as the lost of my dad and having to deal with the greed and evilness of people that arises once a person has passed. My dad had remarried and his wife is doing everything in the world to make life difficult for me, so its kind of hard to grieve in peace, but God is still good and is working things out for me as we speak. Ada I really appreciate you talking to me , you give me just what I need , you speak with a seasoned tongue and you really feel and understand where im coming from. Again God knows just what to do and how to do it, it was'nt just by chance that I found or even looked for this website. Ada I've been trying to handle my feeling by looking at it this way~God gave his only begotten son so that we could have life , so if he gave his child for us I should be happy about the time( 34)years I had with my dad and not go through the what ifs and I wish I would have. My dad and I had a close relationship and I know that he loved me and he knew I loved him. I love your responses because they not only calm me they take me to another place I feel spiritually. It challenges my mind to think of different things that happened in the bible that can get me through I really truely appreciate you for allowing God to use you to assist me. This website is a outlet for me, people that are around me see me as this tough/kindhearted woman that doesnt feel hurt. I'm not saying I wont pity from anyone just saying I think most people just wish I would get over it and the others are waiting on me to crack so they will have something to talk about. Again Thanks,

Fuzzybaby