Members Popular Post movingon Posted February 14, 2023 Members Popular Post Report Share Posted February 14, 2023 I remember when I was in elementary school and on this day I would bring in oh...maybe 20 or more cards that my mother and I had shopped for. The night before I would write something special for all my classmates, and at that time surprisingly for me being a very shy and quiet girl, I had a best friend and a few others who were friends. But every single classmate received a card with kind and funny words. All of us in class did it. Everyone went home with two handfuls of cards. So today on this day that I wish I could think of a new name for, a name that encompasses what we are as a group, on this day...I am sending all of you cards and in each of those cards are written words that are personal and individual to each of you. Words that express what each of you are going through and words that express what each of you have given me and I sign them all fondly with love and gratitude. Thank you. All of you. I am happy to have you all in my life, this day and all days. 4 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members DWS Posted February 14, 2023 Members Report Share Posted February 14, 2023 Approaching this day was not easy. Valentine's weekend last year was the very last time that Tom and I were together physically. We lived separately three hours apart but he was here most weekends. Tom wasn't the mushy romantic type and that was actually a blessing because I used to be...that is until I wised up to the realization that storybook love and all of its endless expectations just can't live up to its promises. It was such a relief to have finally found someone to enjoy the quiet "loving" aspect of coupledom rather than boisterous, love-obsessed drama. I see now that our moments of romance happened with every innocent long walk together...and likely the real reason why I still haven't been able to take walks by myself. So I've been afraid of today. Like Thomas, I am definitely a "love warrior" despite my revelations about the fairytale love I learned of through song, books and movies. I still have the Christmas cookie tin that I dressed up all in hearts last year when I baked Tom's favourite peanut butter cookies. He gave me a silly card and that was the extent of our Valentine acknowledgments. His silly card has not moved from the low cabinet where it was placed a year ago. This day has always meant a lot to me...the day when the world celebrates love. The disco nugget "Love Is In The Air" is a song I traditionally play every year. To think (and wish naively) that love could be in the air worldwide just for a day, how magical that would be! So keeping that in mind, I was able to gain a bit of strength surprisingly. I even put on my red t-shirt because that's what I would do every year. This loss will not take away the very essence of who I am. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Deborah_M Posted February 14, 2023 Members Report Share Posted February 14, 2023 So, what will we name this day? I can think of a few but I would most likely get kicked off of here. I would say "Happy" V. Day, but it will never be happy again. so sorry we are all dealing with this. I've read that crying is good for you, it releases some of that emotional pain...I can't cry any more...Saying a prayer for everyone. All we can do is try and get through the day without hurting ourselves Can't think of any good words of comfort right now. Take Care, May God Bless each of you. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members movingon Posted February 14, 2023 Author Members Report Share Posted February 14, 2023 Thomas? Deborah? Are you doing alright tonight? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members AJ4 Posted February 14, 2023 Members Report Share Posted February 14, 2023 I'm calling it "Buy myself chocolates day". Because I did. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members movingon Posted February 14, 2023 Author Members Report Share Posted February 14, 2023 7 hours ago, DWS said: It was such a relief to have finally found someone to enjoy the quiet "loving" aspect of coupledom I know exactly what you mean. I'm sorry. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members DWS Posted February 15, 2023 Members Report Share Posted February 15, 2023 Gah! The Heraclitus quote about "expect the unexpected" happened to me today. I ended up with a flat tire to contend with! I made the delivery of a large order to my customer this afternoon and when I got back on the road, my van was making a strange noise. It sounded like something was wrong with one or both of the front tires but I made it home fine. I immediately called my brother who has worked with cars since his teens. He thought it might be a hub and said he'd put one on order to replace it. He knows this van because he sold it to me a few years ago. In the meantime, he said it should be fine to drive...just noisy. I had to go out again to get cat food and on my way there, the tire popped. Thankfully, I was close to a side street and was able to pull off there and park it beside the curb. The tire was completely flat. I phoned him again and he drove to where I was with a spare. (I'm so glad he's retired now!) He now sees that it's needing new brake pads and rotors....which means $$$...although he can do all that in his garage thankfully! But I sure was not expecting a flat tire on Valentine's Day of all days. There had been absolutely nothing that indicated anything was wrong with my van. I've learned that the unexpected can often come along to propel our minds out of our dark thoughts. One could say this unexpected event was just more darkness but it did have its way of providing temporary distraction from my grief today. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members movingon Posted February 15, 2023 Author Members Report Share Posted February 15, 2023 @DWSagain...I know exactly what you mean, I had a strange day as well, had to take a trip to the bank today to supposedly sign more estate related forms, ended up not requiring my signature at all, waste of my time. I wanted to tell you that reading that book last night and flipping around the chapters gave me the courage to stand up for myself and be honest with an acquaintance I've known for 15+ years. She texted some very hurtful words after my husband passed so when I got back home today I sent her a lengthy note explaining my deeply hurt feelings and that I wanted to end this acquaintance because since John first became ill in the spring she has said some things that were anything but comforting. That was my day but I agree, maybe it was for the best because my mind was so busy with these things and the day passed quickly. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted February 15, 2023 Moderators Report Share Posted February 15, 2023 A day late, I know... 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted February 15, 2023 Moderators Report Share Posted February 15, 2023 I got up at midnight yesterday and shoveled snow for 16 hours, the first 6" were super heavy, wet. The next 6 1/2" were powdery. With my hand injuries, it was painful, strength 10% of what other women have, let alone a man. Voltaren eased me to sleep, both wrists. Slept 7 1/2 hours straight (I ALWAYS wake up during the night, not last night!). Today I'm super exhausted and hurting. My car by the road, I dug out 100 ft path to firewood, including 40 ft ramp, path to road, car and around it, near mailbox, gate area so it can open/close, porch steps both sides, it's a lot. Saw a neighbor on his plow, he didn't offer to help any of us. Another neighbor took a trip to ER with cutting his thumb and finger badly! What a day, glad it's behind me. Now it's going down to 17 degrees so glad I got it all done. I love that someone bought themselves chocolates! Sorry I couldn't find a V. greeting w/o the word happy in it. Wish I could have stated "friends" but alas didn't find one like that. Anyway, glad the day is behind us. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members RichS Posted February 15, 2023 Members Report Share Posted February 15, 2023 Kay: Beautiful saying on that card! I think it represents all of us on this board. As much as I appreciate attending a once a month grieving group, this board has meant much more to me. TAKE A BREAK TODAY FROM ALL OF THAT SNOW SHOVELING............RELAX........ 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted February 15, 2023 Moderators Report Share Posted February 15, 2023 It's done snowing for now but more coming later in the week, maybe it'll give me a chance to heal up first! That is how I felt too, Rich. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members foreverhis Posted February 16, 2023 Members Report Share Posted February 16, 2023 Here's me and my sweet, funny, feisty valentine. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members movingon Posted February 16, 2023 Author Members Report Share Posted February 16, 2023 @KayCoh my gosh , you did all that shovelling ? You must be strong and have energy, I can't even do my deck when it's heavy and deep. Wow, that's impressive, but your poor aching body and hands...how is Iris and Jazzy and their kids doing? How are you doing? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted February 16, 2023 Moderators Report Share Posted February 16, 2023 I have 10% strength and continual pain and numbness in my hands so it's extremely hard, was exhausted, didn't do a lot yesterday. I shoveled 16 hours, not 12, told you I was exhausted! I do have a good back and legs except for injuries when I fell seven years ago (broke leg, injured knees, arthritic now). All I know is to keep going, do that next step in front of you, it's how I've lived here 46 years, esp. since my kids are gone and my husband passed nearly 18 years ago. I know I'm all I have to count on. Also to cry out for help when I absolutely need it. A lot of my neighbors are elderly too but not nearly as old and hobbled as I am. 11 hours ago, foreverhis said: Here's me and my sweet, funny, feisty valentine. And so adorable! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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