Divorce Hangover

[Holly Golightly]

I separated from my ex husband 18 months ago. We were together for 23 years and have 3 children and a dog. We officially divorced 11 months ago. The grief of the divorce has been the hardest these last three months. I am having significant guilt for my children and can’t seem to get past the fact that I have caused a huge injury to them, and that this will affect them for the rest of their lives. Although I have met a wonderful partner, and I am extremely happy, I still have regrets that I did not try harder and that I made my children be divorced kids. I feel like I am experience some sort of “hangover” and can’t seem to move past it lately. I’ve been over come with Grace and every time they leave for the week it gets harder instead of easier. My ex only lives 2 miles away and I see my kids frequently while they’re at their dad’s as we have a good coparenting relationship, but it’s still extremely difficult and heart wrenching for me.

[Sep Paro]

On 2/14/2023 at 1:52 AM, Holly Golightly said:

I separated from my ex husband 18 months ago. We were together for 23 years and have 3 children and a dog. We officially divorced 11 months ago. The grief of the divorce has been the hardest these last three months. I am having significant guilt for my children and can’t seem to get past the fact that I have caused a huge injury to them, and that this will affect them for the rest of their lives. Although I have met a wonderful partner, and I am extremely happy, I still have regrets that I did not try harder and that I made my children be divorced kids. I feel like I am experience some sort of “hangover” and can’t seem to move past it lately. I’ve been over come with Grace and every time they leave for the week it gets harder instead of easier. My ex only lives 2 miles away and I see my kids frequently while they’re at their dad’s as we have a good coparenting relationship, but it’s still extremely difficult and heart wrenching for me.

I am sorry you have these feelings but emotions are hard to control. What you think fuel these emotions. When the thoughts are from the past or regrets i try to  shift them to something I am going to do soon, in your case it could be seeing your kids soon or what you are planing with your partner. If they are old enough tell and show them that you are sorry. 

[widower2]

I'm sorry. A divorce is not unlike a death...the death of a relationship...and there are similarities. For starters, it's common to feel guilty. You are human, you are not perfect, but that doesn't mean you're the "bad guy" here. I would just say try to be honest with your kids and if you or they feel the need, talk about it.