Year 2 after losing my mother

[AlanMichael]

My mother passed Jan 28th 2022 it’s been the start of year 2 and it’s feeling even harder! Feels like the reality of it all has set in even more. I miss her so much. She was everything to me. My best friend. It feels so fresh still and life just keeps moving…

[Traz]

Hi AlanMichael,

I'm sincerely sorry for the loss of your beloved mom.

I'm going into the 4th year and I feel that way. Not all of the time,  but more than I would like. I feel that the first year is a kind of a blur. You're so grief stricken, you can't think straight and are in a state of disbelief. And numbness. At least that's how it was for me after losing my mom.

As the years go on, I keep expecting to feel a certain way. The shock has lessened, acceptance has happened but I feel the loss profoundly. The missing her part never goes away and I find myself talking to her when I'm  having a particularly bad day. I also write in a journal dedicated to her. I tell her what's going on in my life, ask her advice and it's been a great coping tool.

I know that grief is love - an expression of everything that our moms meant to us. We will carry this burden of grief but hopefully in time, we we'll smile more and find joy in life again. I know they would want this for us. 

Thinking of you,

Traz 

[AlanMichael]

Yeah having trouble finding joy. When I do have glimpses of joy then I just think of her and feel bad again. It’s difficult just taking things a day at a time. I believe it’s something you just learn to live with and accept. Thinking of the days of her digression and up til the death really get to Me. Just how she must have felt and the potential fear etc.