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My dad


halo90111

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Hello all. I'm new here, and am posting looking for a new avenue of getting past this grief. Theres so much I wish to write, Don't know if I can get it all down here. But here goes...

Since there is so much to write about I'm going to try and break it down.

About me: I am a 16 year old junior at a high school in the east coast. I'm from India, as well as my family. I also have an older sister who's around 27.

About my dad: He was a doctor. An anesthesiologist and specialist in pain management. He had a ridiculous amount of friends and was well loved and respected by EVERYONE who met him. In fact, people who had NEVER EVEN MET HIM came to the funeral, the funeral home actually ran out of room for the ridiculous amount of people that came! He had an immense passion for riding motorcycles as well, a passion that sometimes even overshadowed his love for his family (and by god did he love us to death). He was a man of principle and honesty, and had an amazing life story that highlighted how much hard work he has put in and how much he has struggled for me and my sister. Basically, he was an awesome guy...

What happened: My mother and I were on a tour in Europe that my father insisted we go one. And when I say insisted he nearly forced me to go (its strange because he is not the loner type). June 30, 2011, 7:00 in the morning my dad is cruising down a somewhat busy 2 lane road a half mile from his office building. My mother and I had JUST landed at the airport in Berlin. The speed limit is 35 Mph, he is behind a garbage truck. They are driving next to an apartment complex. The truck signals left, and enters completely into the left lane. My dad continues. Suddenly, for no apparent reason the truck turns sharply to the right directly into my dad and running him over. 10 tons of steel and gnashing fury absolutely crushing my father. MY father, the guy who was supposed to see me graduate high school, college, med school, help me through residency. Now? Nothing. He's gone. All because of some stupid truck driver and his idiocy. The official police report states that its the truck drivers fault, but he only gets charged with a measly TRAFFIC TICKET. No reckless driving or involuntary manslaughter. So here I am furious at the guy who killed my dad, furious at the American justice system and its useless laws in these situations, and furious at my dad for not listening to us and driving his motorcycle instead.

Its unfair. He didn't deserve this. At all. There was so much we wanted to do as a family. Skydiving, white water rafting, bungee jumping, cave diving. Now I'm all alone.

I can barely remember what he looks like, much less what he sounds like. It so bizarre, waking up on saturday morning, going downstairs and not seeing him at the table drinking tea with my mother. Its horrible, I miss him everyday, and question if its really possible to get through life like this.

Theres a lot more I wish to share, but I figure its too much typing right now...

Thank you. If you've read this whole thing.

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Hello all. I'm new here, and am posting looking for a new avenue of getting past this grief. Theres so much I wish to write, Don't know if I can get it all down here. But here goes...

Since there is so much to write about I'm going to try and break it down.

About me: I am a 16 year old junior at a high school in the east coast. I'm from India, as well as my family. I also have an older sister who's around 27.

About my dad: He was a doctor. An anesthesiologist and specialist in pain management. He had a ridiculous amount of friends and was well loved and respected by EVERYONE who met him. In fact, people who had NEVER EVEN MET HIM came to the funeral, the funeral home actually ran out of room for the ridiculous amount of people that came! He had an immense passion for riding motorcycles as well, a passion that sometimes even overshadowed his love for his family (and by god did he love us to death). He was a man of principle and honesty, and had an amazing life story that highlighted how much hard work he has put in and how much he has struggled for me and my sister. Basically, he was an awesome guy...

What happened: My mother and I were on a tour in Europe that my father insisted we go one. And when I say insisted he nearly forced me to go (its strange because he is not the loner type). June 30, 2011, 7:00 in the morning my dad is cruising down a somewhat busy 2 lane road a half mile from his office building. My mother and I had JUST landed at the airport in Berlin. The speed limit is 35 Mph, he is behind a garbage truck. They are driving next to an apartment complex. The truck signals left, and enters completely into the left lane. My dad continues. Suddenly, for no apparent reason the truck turns sharply to the right directly into my dad and running him over. 10 tons of steel and gnashing fury absolutely crushing my father. MY father, the guy who was supposed to see me graduate high school, college, med school, help me through residency. Now? Nothing. He's gone. All because of some stupid truck driver and his idiocy. The official police report states that its the truck drivers fault, but he only gets charged with a measly TRAFFIC TICKET. No reckless driving or involuntary manslaughter. So here I am furious at the guy who killed my dad, furious at the American justice system and its useless laws in these situations, and furious at my dad for not listening to us and driving his motorcycle instead.

Its unfair. He didn't deserve this. At all. There was so much we wanted to do as a family. Skydiving, white water rafting, bungee jumping, cave diving. Now I'm all alone.

I can barely remember what he looks like, much less what he sounds like. It so bizarre, waking up on saturday morning, going downstairs and not seeing him at the table drinking tea with my mother. Its horrible, I miss him everyday, and question if its really possible to get through life like this.

Theres a lot more I wish to share, but I figure its too much typing right now...

Thank you. If you've read this whole thing.

Halo9011,

I am very sorry about your father. And yes, life seems terribly unfair at times. But unfortunately, it is what it is and we have to move forward and learn to accept what we can't change no matter how horribly awful it is. You will be able to remember your dad's face again. You are just having some anxious moments. Try to relax and picture him if it helps. Don't worry, you will never forget him, no matter how many years go by. He will always be with you, and always be a part of you. His love for you will always remain, and your love for him will always stay strong.

I know what you mean about expecting to see your father sitting at a table drinking tea. My dad did that every morning of my life, and when he wasn't there to drink his tea, well, it hurt--very badly.

If your dad could communicate with you, what do you think he would tell you about his accident? Would he tell you that yes, he would love to do all those things like skydiving and rafting but that it's okay that he is doing something else now?

You can come here and talk all you want about your dad. We will be here for you.

ModKonnie

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Hi Halo: I am so very sorry. I feel your pain. I feel the same pain. My mother died unnecessarily 1 month ago on nov 14. She was a wonderful, smart fun lady and very educated and wonderful to me. I am so sad and iii miss her so much, its hard to go on without her without crying daily.

I am very angry also, we came back from calif and went to NJ, and I got into an argument with the hospital i put her in for evaluation, they insisted she go to a nursing home, that was back in june, by august she looked back, skinny and grey in color. I started screaming in the nursing home for them to put her in the hospital. They wouldnt listen said she was fine.

By oct 14, she could barely sit up and i called adult protective services who had her admitted immediately to the hospital. the doctor in the nursing home did nothing and he was her doc at the hospital. She died 14 days later of pneumonia, mrsa and complications. They were told not to do any invasive procedures but they did anyway and they killed her.

I am furious and going to see a lawyer Monday. My poor mother worked all her life and was always doing for people and giving to everyone. I am lost without her. No matter what i do i can't get past this, i have accepted it to a degree. She was 87 but she could have lived into her ninties like her sister.

Broken hearted.

Debbie I thought i would share my story with you, crazy huh? I wish i never heard of NJ or St. Peters hospital who started alll this trouble. By the time the judge realized i took good care of my mom it was too late. Lord have mercy.

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Dad may have a hidden infection..... I find my Mum's behaviour changes when she is "under the weather" so I think it would be a good idea to contact the GP - heaven forbid he came down with something over the christmas period and there was difficulty getting a doctor....

If you can get mum to accept help, not for Dad but for herself, she will have more time to care for Dad - It must be the feeling of giving up and handing the care over to someone else that is stopping your mum getting help into the house. Try to help her understand that if she continues without help, she will be too drained to help Dad and then he would have to go into care........but.........Placing someone into a care home when you cant continue is not giving up on someone - its just a different type of care

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Halo-

We have almost the same exact story on loosing our fathers. My dad was killed on his motorcycle riding to work by a young driver. He was an amazing father and loved his motorcycle. I hope that you are doing well in your grieving time and that your mother is staying strong.

Keep your head up and remember eventually things will get a little better.

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