loss of an unplanned pregnancy

[tlrreyna]

i unexpectedly got pregnant last month from a fwb situation we weren’t together but i’ve always wanted kids so i was willing to work things out. two weeks ago my doctor told me that the baby hasn’t grown and i was most likely having a miscarriage and i’ve been completely devastated ever since. my baby’s father came over to comfort me but the day after that he blocked me on everything… i was already heartbroken from losing my baby but that really put me over the top. now i’m struggling with fear of ever getting pregnant again but also fearing that i won’t. i’m scared this is going to be something that just keeps happening to me and my dreams of becoming a mother will never come true… i am at war with my body, i hate my body which is something i never felt before. and my depression has gotten so bad i’m afraid i won’t make it out this time. the situation has completely robbed me of the joys of pregnancy and if god willing i do get pregnant again i’m going to be a nervous wreck the entire time. this is the worst thing that’s ever happened to me in my life and the grief and guilt and shame is smothering me and i feel like i can’t breathe. i don’t see myself being happy again for a long time if ever and i feel so alone i’ve never felt pain like this. 

[legitimate-act]

My recent pregnancy was also unplanned and resulted in a missed miscarriage.  I am so sorry you are going through this and that the person you got pregnant with is pulling away so ferociously at a time when you could really use the support.  This experience is already so isolating.  I feel you very much on the depression aspect.  I've spent most of my life with depression but never like this; I did not know it was possible to hurt this much.  I hope we are both able to pull ourselves out of this darkness.  I know it feels like you're alone in this, but I promise you are not.  I know I'm just a stranger on the Internet, but I'm sending you so much love right now and wish you the best as you continue to heal from this awful experience.  Take care of yourself.  <3

[KayC]

I went through the same thing when I was young.  Learn from this that your "partner" is not what you need, and keep going.  I am serious!  I am no longer the starry eyed girl I was when I felll in love with him and he proposed to me.  Years later we ran into each other and he has "tried" to get me back...nope!  Now I am nearly 71 and he ten years my senior.  He never married or had kids whereas I lived my life and had children, grandchildren.  There is a reason for all of this.  I am very sorry you are going through this.  I know it's hard.  Grieve your loss, we never forget the child we lost. 

[Bogocz]

Have you spoken to doctors about your fear of another miscarriage? I have never been pregnant myself, had yrs of IVF with no success so in a way I can understand the loss. Your ex fwb perhaps couldn't cope and that's why he blocked you, still not nice.

I hope you can in time have a happy pregnancy.

[Bogocz]

I never managed to get pregnant,. even through IVF although I was told there.was nothing wrong with either me or my husband. I grieved for the pregnancies and children I would never give birth to. We went on to adopt two children 9 yrs apart who are half siblings, one at 5 yrs old and one at 6 months old. They are now 20 and 10 and a half and I couldn't love them any more if I'd carried them and given birth to them myself and if you'd told me that when I was trying to get pregnant I wouldn't have believed you.