loss of an unplanned pregnancy

[tlrreyna]

i unexpectedly got pregnant last month from a fwb situation we weren’t together but i’ve always wanted kids so i was willing to work things out. two weeks ago my doctor told me that the baby hasn’t grown and i was most likely having a miscarriage and i’ve been completely devastated ever since. my baby’s father came over to comfort me but the day after that he blocked me on everything… i was already heartbroken from losing my baby but that really put me over the top. now i’m struggling with fear of ever getting pregnant again but also fearing that i won’t. i’m scared this is going to be something that just keeps happening to me and my dreams of becoming a mother will never come true… i am at war with my body, i hate my body which is something i never felt before. and my depression has gotten so bad i’m afraid i won’t make it out this time. the situation has completely robbed me of the joys of pregnancy and if god willing i do get pregnant again i’m going to be a nervous wreck the entire time. this is the worst thing that’s ever happened to me in my life and the grief and guilt and shame is smothering me and i feel like i can’t breathe. i don’t see myself being happy again for a long time if ever and i feel so alone i’ve never felt pain like this.