Help me and my family deal my upcoming death.

[maway]

Don't know what to say or where to start 😕.

[BeccaB]

I’m so sorry for what you are going through. I do understand. My husband is in his 4th year of Bulbar ALS and progression is speeding up. It is so hard. I don’t really have answers - I find it all paralyzing in every way. But my time with the Lord in the mornings helps a great deal. Allowing myself to ‘snuggle him’ in some way (it’s hard because he can’t move) - but it brings my walls down. Also - allowing myself to cry and ‘not be ok’ sometimes. I’ve realized I really can’t ’prepare For him passing’ - that time will be awful  no matter what. So I’ve chosen to try and do use more on being ‘in today’ and enjoying ‘him’ as much as possible.  

[KayC]

I am so sorry, that's the hardest thing in the world. I had a friend who had it.  Prayers...

[ImMomma]

I am just starting the same journey.  I'm scared, but not for myself.   My mind is jumping around so much I can't focus on one aspect.     Do you feel like that?   I wish I had some words that would magically ease your mind and spirit.  

I am my husbands caregiver.  We have no family and only a few friends. No one close.   I am sole support and when I go my husband will lose everything.  He's been disabled for years.    I am trying to deal with that.

 

I am guessing your family and friends want to help you, but dont know how either.   Too many tears. 

 It came home to me when I heard my husband crying.  Only once in 40 years did I ever hear him & it was one gasping sob when his soul-mate dog died in his arms.   I heard him sobbing for many minutes the other day.   

Hugs may help and just tell each other you understand and just be quiet with each other for a few minutes.     

 

I dont know the answer.  If you are religious I would imagine there may be comfort  there.    

 

I know grief all too well.   I was a grief counselor many many years ago, and have had so many losses.  Parents, children - human & animal, my dear friend.   I've been on the other side of grief listening to the living.    I don't know how to be a caregiver or help my husband from this side.   

I haven't thought about myself yet - but I know its going to hit me hard and I will be scared.  

I think maybe our loved ones will be comforted after we are gone, if they know we are ready in our own minds.   When my mom died she was ready.  That made a difference to me.   Knowing that - was her last gift to me.  

I wish you peace on this journey and that we both find a way to say goodbye.