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Lost the love of my life


Chinita

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3 weeks ago today I lost the love of my life and today is not a good day.

It was definitely love at first sight for us, 4 days after meeting we moved in together and 3 months later we were engaged. He was my best friend, my partner, my lover, my rock, my life, my everything. We were planning to get married next year.

He passed away 3 weeks ago at 34 unexpectedly and I am really struggling. This is the longest we have ever been apart. I miss him so much... its so painful to even think about.

His family and my friends & family have been very supportive. Everywhere I look there are memories. I am planning to move interstate next year to be closer to family and for a new start.

I am back at work and although my boss kinda means well she has been quite insensitive. But working during the day distracts me somewhat. It is when I get home, especially at night that I feel alone. I have a dog who licks my tears and I would be so lost without him. I have tried to keep myself busy by spending time with his family and friends and that has helped....

I miss him so much, he was everything to me. I still cant sleep in our bed I have been camping out on the lounge because its just too hard to sleep in there without him. I am grateful for the time we had together but I feel so cheated because we were supposed to get married and have kids and grow old together and we had all these plans and now its all gone.

They say time heals wounds and I really hope thats true because I am really struggling.......

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I'm sorry for your loss.

Reading your story, hits home so much. I lost my fiance in September, so I can relate to how you feel about

moving closer to family, being ok at work, but it's not until you get home when you fall apart. How everything reminds you of them.

I can totally understand. People say it gets easier within time, but i'm finding it's getting harder. I know it's only been 2 months for me, but it's not easy. Easy, doesn't seem like a realistic word.

My heart goes out to you, I wish you nothing but strength at this time.

-Jenn

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I'm very sorry for your loss. My husband was 34 too and he died suddenly in April, I'm at the 8th month mark and it is very hard now the shock has worn off and reality is setting in. I don't sleep in our bed either. It was the last place i saw him when he kissed me good bye. It's good that you spend time with his friends and family talking about them seems to help. ((hugs))

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Thanks for the replies it means alot...

It will be 4 weeks tomorrow. I think the shock is now gone and the reality has certainly set in. I have some new projects at work lined up so they will definitely keep me busy until I move. I no longer cry at work anymore - but the tears start when I am about 5 mins from home. I have even gone to the pub after work for a bit.. just to avoid going home.

I am still sleeping on the lounge. I cant even bear to go into our bedroom. I havent been back to the gym either as thats where we were the last night we were together..

I look alot better but I think I am just controlling my emotions more. Inside I am an absolute wreck. I am still planning to move interstate next year and there is alot that will need to be done. So that has me distracted and its something to look forward to.... moving interstate is something we talked about doing and I know he would be happy that I am doing it.

I miss him so much. Thats the hardest part for me. Here one day and gone the next. It is alot to get used to. I miss hearing his voice and making him laugh and hugging etc. I miss that soooooooooooooo much.

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