Lost my fiance

[jwielg1017]

I'm new to this. New to support groups, or online forums regarding loss.

In September 2011, I lost my fiance Mike to brain cancer. We were together for 6 years, and Dec. 23, 2011 would have made our 1 year engagment anniversary. I guess I joined this, to see how everyone in a situation like mine deals with this loss. Sometimes I feel alone, angry, empty, feels like i'm going nuts! Sometimes it's like I know he's gone, yet some how I feel like this is just not possible. He can't be gone. This isn't how my life was suppose to turn out, not my life, not his life.

All the things I would stress about,

taking him to doctors, giving him his medicine, MRI after MRI, surgery, insurance, seeing him struggle with speech impairment. I would give anything to do all those things again, just to have him back, but is that me being selfish? How could I want all of that knowing how much he suffered?

Is there anyone out there that can relate? If so, I'd love to know how you get through each day.

[ModKonnie]

I'm new to this. New to support groups, or online forums regarding loss.

In September 2011, I lost my fiance Mike to brain cancer. We were together for 6 years, and Dec. 23, 2011 would have made our 1 year engagment anniversary. I guess I joined this, to see how everyone in a situation like mine deals with this loss. Sometimes I feel alone, angry, empty, feels like i'm going nuts! Sometimes it's like I know he's gone, yet some how I feel like this is just not possible. He can't be gone. This isn't how my life was suppose to turn out, not my life, not his life.

All the things I would stress about,

taking him to doctors, giving him his medicine, MRI after MRI, surgery, insurance, seeing him struggle with speech impairment. I would give anything to do all those things again, just to have him back, but is that me being selfish? How could I want all of that knowing how much he suffered?

Is there anyone out there that can relate? If so, I'd love to know how you get through each day.

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your Mike. Regrets are a hard part of grieving to move forward from. I know you are having a hard time because he was the focus of your entire life. Instead of concentrating on the bigger picture, try shortening your focus to an hour or two at a time. Just get up, make a list of little things to do for that specific day, and try not to focus on the next day. Be sure and get out and about and interact with other people, even if it's just for a few minutes. Your goal is to just get used to this new experience a little at a time. For now, don't worry about the future; take it day by day.

There are many people here who have experienced similar situations; they may be able to offer you tips and advice. We will be here for you,

ModKonnie

[wilnipper]

I'm new to this. New to support groups, or online forums regarding loss.

In September 2011, I lost my fiance Mike to brain cancer. We were together for 6 years, and Dec. 23, 2011 would have made our 1 year engagment anniversary. I guess I joined this, to see how everyone in a situation like mine deals with this loss. Sometimes I feel alone, angry, empty, feels like i'm going nuts! Sometimes it's like I know he's gone, yet some how I feel like this is just not possible. He can't be gone. This isn't how my life was suppose to turn out, not my life, not his life.

All the things I would stress about,

taking him to doctors, giving him his medicine, MRI after MRI, surgery, insurance, seeing him struggle with speech impairment. I would give anything to do all those things again, just to have him back, but is that me being selfish? How could I want all of that knowing how much he suffered?

Is there anyone out there that can relate? If so, I'd love to know how you get through each day.

I'm so sorry honey, it's such a struggle and it tends to feel like it cant be real. I'm still after more than a year seeking the same answers that you are. It's a process, over time you learn to cope better with the agony. I find myself talking to my JR all the time, I still hang his Christmas stocking and put his chocolate orange in it and while some think thats morbid it brings me comfort. It's hard to find someone to talk to about the feelings but I was fortunate enough to meet one of the kindest hearted men I've ever known and he's made alot of this bearable. When I told him our story and I saw a tear gather in his eyes I knew I found a true friend and thats the biggest help there is.

[chogg]

I'm new to this. New to support groups, or online forums regarding loss.

In September 2011, I lost my fiance Mike to brain cancer. We were together for 6 years, and Dec. 23, 2011 would have made our 1 year engagment anniversary. I guess I joined this, to see how everyone in a situation like mine deals with this loss. Sometimes I feel alone, angry, empty, feels like i'm going nuts! Sometimes it's like I know he's gone, yet some how I feel like this is just not possible. He can't be gone. This isn't how my life was suppose to turn out, not my life, not his life.

All the things I would stress about,

taking him to doctors, giving him his medicine, MRI after MRI, surgery, insurance, seeing him struggle with speech impairment. I would give anything to do all those things again, just to have him back, but is that me being selfish? How could I want all of that knowing how much he suffered?

Is there anyone out there that can relate? If so, I'd love to know how you get through each day.

I understand completely. I want just a day back with my Sandra...thank god the last thing I said to her was " I Love You " we had a small argument that day and if it was left like that I would be in much worse shape. I feel angry, sad, confused ETC up and down all day. Her friends call me for support, this is imposible.....I am hurting so much but this is hard on everyone and no one knows what to do. We are all in shock and overwhelmed with grief. Please just take as I say...One second, one minute, one hour, one day at a time...I didnt expect to be alone so I was not prepaired.. I have lost my home my animals and the love of my life..Thank God I have a big sister that talks to me everyday..Please find someone you can talk to...this helps me big time..This is my first time here and hope that you arent borrred to tears with my ramble...chuck