Anyone else hate "fake" hugs

[widower2]

Ran into someone recently and got one of these...you know, the kind people do to be polite or because they think they are being "warm" or "friendly" but you know it's a crock. barf. I'd rather none vs one of these. It's like hugging a steel pole. 

[foreverhis]

Ugh!  Yes, I agree.  The only people who gave me fake hugs are the same people I booted from my life.  They were acquaintances who also ended up pretending that John never existed at all.  No, just no to that kind of crap.

[KayC]

7 hours ago, widower2 said:

you know it's a crock. barf.

I about spit out my coffee, I love your description!  My little sister's "hugs" feel that way, she's not fake though, just never been comfortable with hugs.  I miss my sister Peggy, she always gave good lingering hugs.  I don't get hugs from people anymore...miss them.

 

[Gail 8588]

I think the pandemic has saved me from fake hugs for the past several years.  Possibly the only benefit of Covid. 

Even before John's death I disliked hugs from people I didn't feel a genuine warm affection for.  An unwelcome invasion of my personal space.

Gail

[Mama_Bear_11]

You can always use the pandemic as an easy out - "oh, I don't really hug anymore, but it's so good to see you!" Maybe awkward the first time, but the fake hug is awkward, too. It's your personal space, you get to own it!
 

I am personally sick of the particular, pitiful way people say, "and how are you doing?", like they are scared I'm going to burst into tears all over them. Well I was doing fine but now I'm all annoyed at you!

[Sparky1]

I hate the hugs where they keep their face 2 feet away from my face. Customarily you have to at least brush both sides of the face. My Sil ( brother's wife) is notorious for that.

 

[April Ballou]

I know exactly what your talking about.  I miss the hugs, the support of someone who loves me.  The loneliness is so hard.  But I guess that is my life now.  At 57 I guess I will spend the rest of my life alone.

[KayC]

17 hours ago, Mama_Bear_11 said:

"oh, I don't really hug anymore, but it's so good to see you!"

Good response!  

 

13 hours ago, LostThomas said:

But here I am now, at 72, and in trouble again, and oh so alone now.

Oh how I can relate to this!  I'm 70, have been alone for the most part of 17 1/2 years since my husband died.  It helps that I get out and take Kodie for walks twice/day...sometimes waving at neighbors, sometimes so rainy/cold/snowing they're all inside.  But well aware of my aloneness when it comes to problems, making decisions, dealing with things.  Sometimes just for once you'd like to not have to deal with something, make a decision, be on your own!  But there are no breaks from this.  And the older we get the more helpless we feel, sometimes it's necessary to hire someone to do something or cry out for help!  And I hate that, I'm used to be self-sufficient.  Do I EVER hate asking for help!  But just as important is keeping in mind that it can be a blessing to the other person to help (Ugh, STILL I hate it!) and thus not to deprive them of doing so...such as someone helping shovel snow or buying firewood from them.  Oh to be young and able bodied again!  My hands are my biggest handicap, the rest of me works fine.  I guess I'm lucky and thankful for that, good back, legs, etc. for the most part.

13 hours ago, LostThomas said:

I believe in God's purpose for me. 

Keep believing, He will show you what specifically in time.