Members Deborah_M Posted December 17, 2022 Members Report Share Posted December 17, 2022 Hello everyone! I don't want you to think I'm not very smart, but I'm really having a hard time figuring out how to respond to those of you who post a reply to my post. If anyone could give me a few pointers I would appreciate it. I find myself coming here often, but it is frustrating not being able to figure out how to post a reply back. On the subject of grief in my life...it's been just a little over two months now but why does it seem like it is much longer. I'm going through one day at a time, but my sadness seems to be getting stronger. I'm shutting down emotionally. I have plans to go to family for the holidays but my heart is really not in it. I know it's best for me to get out of the house. I seem to find no reason at all for staying home. Thankfully, I have my four legged companions to keep me company. I reached out to another widow in my area but it didn't go as well as I thought it would, maybe she just doesn't need a new friend. Several people on here have reached out to me and I'm sorry if you didn't get a response from me. Just have not figured out how to reply to you yet. but I'm still trying. so, if you didn't hear from me, I hope I will figure it out. I really need to feel a connection with someone. May God Bless you and keep you safe at this time in our lives. Wish I could say "Merry Christmas" but I just don't feel it. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members foreverhis Posted December 18, 2022 Members Report Share Posted December 18, 2022 Welcome. First, I'm so sorry you lost both your spouse and your son. Either one is devastating; both even more so. It's more than okay to not say "Merry Christmas" or "Happy Anything," most especially when your grief is so new and raw. Every member here understands and gets it in ways that others do not and sometimes will not. Now to your actual questions. It's true that posting, quoting, directing responses is not intuitive for many new members. I will assume that you've figured out how to post a basic/generic response by selecting either the orange "Reply to this topic" box on the top right of the start of a thread or selecting the smaller "Reply to this topic" box (with your icon next to it) at the bottom of the page. A while back, a few members had questions and I remember posting what I had figured out through trial and error. I'll go search for that and either post a link to that thread or just copy my specific post here. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members April Ballou Posted December 18, 2022 Members Report Share Posted December 18, 2022 @Deborah_M I am sorry for your loss. To answer your question. If you want to talk to someone specific just put the @ symbol and their name no space. You can always click on the quote symbol and reply like that. If you want to learn about someone you click on their name. You can read any post they have written and if you choose to follow them you will get an email when they reply or post something. I hope this has helped you. I will be praying for you 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members foreverhis Posted December 18, 2022 Members Report Share Posted December 18, 2022 Found it! Quoting whole post: If you want to quote a member's entire post, you just go down to where it says "Quote" at the bottom left of the post and click on that. The whole post will be copied as a quote into a reply box. Then you can enter your response and post it. Quoting multiple whole posts: If you want to quote multiple whole posts, click on the plus sign next to "Quote" and then select each whole post you want to copy for quoting. A little box appears to the bottom right, showing how many posts you have selected. Click on that and the multiple posts copy into your reply box. You can reply to each individually by simply typing your response under the individual quote boxes. Quoting only part of a post or posts: If you want to quote just a part of a post, select the text you want to quote in the standard way. It will be highlighted as is typical. Then hover over the highlighted text. A little box that says, "Quote selection" appears to the right and under your selected text. Click that and the selected text copies into your reply box as a partial quote. Then you just enter your reply as usual. Responding to specific member(s) without using a quote: If you want to simply direct a reply to a member without quoting their post(s), type @ and then start typing the member's screen name (no spaces after the @). When you see the members name on the drop down list, click on that. The @Name goes blue. Type your response and post it. Your reply post will be flagged and that member will receive a notification. I hope this helps a little. I mostly figured it out through trial and error. Here's a link to a subforum with threads that you might find helpful: https://forums.grieving.com/forum/52-questions-about-forum-capabilities/ 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Deborah_M Posted December 18, 2022 Author Members Report Share Posted December 18, 2022 19 hours ago, April Ballou said: @Deborah_M I am sorry for your loss. To answer your question. If you want to talk to someone specific just put the @ symbol and their name no space. You can always click on the quote symbol and reply like that. If you want to learn about someone you click on their name. You can read any post they have written and if you choose to follow them you will get an email when they reply or post something. I hope this has helped you. I will be praying for you April: Thank you so much! I was just about to give up out of frustration. This makes it so much easier. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Deborah_M Posted December 18, 2022 Author Members Report Share Posted December 18, 2022 19 hours ago, foreverhis said: Found it! Quoting whole post: If you want to quote a member's entire post, you just go down to where it says "Quote" at the bottom left of the post and click on that. The whole post will be copied as a quote into a reply box. Then you can enter your response and post it. Quoting multiple whole posts: If you want to quote multiple whole posts, click on the plus sign next to "Quote" and then select each whole post you want to copy for quoting. A little box appears to the bottom right, showing how many posts you have selected. Click on that and the multiple posts copy into your reply box. You can reply to each individually by simply typing your response under the individual quote boxes. Quoting only part of a post or posts: If you want to quote just a part of a post, select the text you want to quote in the standard way. It will be highlighted as is typical. Then hover over the highlighted text. A little box that says, "Quote selection" appears to the right and under your selected text. Click that and the selected text copies into your reply box as a partial quote. Then you just enter your reply as usual. Responding to specific member(s) without using a quote: If you want to simply direct a reply to a member without quoting their post(s), type @ and then start typing the member's screen name (no spaces after the @). When you see the members name on the drop down list, click on that. The @Name goes blue. Type your response and post it. Your reply post will be flagged and that member will receive a notification. I hope this helps a little. I mostly figured it out through trial and error. Here's a link to a subforum with threads that you might find helpful: https://forums.grieving.com/forum/52-questions-about-forum-capabilities/ Thank You for your help in figuring out how to respond to other's post. You were a big help. I'm sure I will be on here more now. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members foreverhis Posted December 18, 2022 Members Report Share Posted December 18, 2022 2 hours ago, Deborah_M said: Thank You for your help in figuring out how to respond to other's post. You were a big help. I'm sure I will be on here more now. I'm happy to help. Please do come read and post and be part of this wonderful community. Everyone here has been such a grace as I've gone through my first years after losing my John. I'm not one for in person support groups. I tried a couple related to my health conditions and didn't find them to be a positive experience (but that's no doubt just those specific ones). I am fairly private IRL, so being here allows me to share as much or as little as I feel comfortable with as time goes on. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members April Ballou Posted December 18, 2022 Members Report Share Posted December 18, 2022 @Deborah_M I'm glad I could help 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members foreverhis Posted December 19, 2022 Members Report Share Posted December 19, 2022 @LostThomas I'm afraid I haven't a clue about Journals, but I suspect it's a place where we can start individual online journals to share or not, as we choose. But I can help you with Circles. I believe Kelly and the Mods started the Circles options because sometimes threads in various forums would go off on tangents far afield and sometimes members got into real arguments about things. (Raises hand I was guilty of this one time, getting sucked into an argument between three or four members when I should have known better. I did reach out to the one member through PMs and apologized for my part in it.) In Circles, the conversations center on specific topics or types of posts. You have to join a Circle and agree to the parameters of posting within it. For example, I joined the Circle called The Deep Pit, which is quite literally for talking exclusively about the dark side of grieving. Now, that might sound weird because...yeah, grieving is a freaking dark thing, regardless. But some members (I remember a few on this forum) only wanted to talk about the deep pit of despair with no hope of light or any kind of solace, happiness, or moving forward. And that is how some arguments started. Kind of like, "Don't talk to me about how to move forward. I don't want to. I'm never getting out of the dark pit." and then another member saying, "Oh come on, you shouldn't do that. You need to fill-in-the-blank to take steps on this journey--and here's suggestions." (Note: That was not the argument I was involved with. If someone only wants to talk about the dark, I respect that.) I joined for the times I was having a really bad day and didn't want anyone to try to "cheer me up" in any way. Those days are rarer now, so I don't visit it often, but it's good to know I can if I feel I need it. I'm sure there are various Circles for all kinds of focused posting and discussion, but I honestly have no clue what they are. If you go to Circles, I'm sure there's some way to scroll through to see if one or more are right for you. I'm glad my trial and error information on posting, quoting, etc. was helpful. Most of my professional life was as a technical editor, writer, and document designer. I figured out early on (way back in the '80s when a "portable computer" meant one that weighed 24 lb; LOL) that I learned and retained computer skills best by futzing around and figuring it out, and that it actually took some effort to "break" programs. My work sent me to many different departments, all with their own setups and way of doing things, so it served me well. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted December 19, 2022 Moderators Report Share Posted December 19, 2022 I didn't even know about the circles! Never heard of it before, where are they? Learn something new every day! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members foreverhis Posted December 19, 2022 Members Report Share Posted December 19, 2022 Hi Kay. Go up to the top of the screen. There's that list across with Share (Forums), Chat, Circles, Journals, and Search. Select Circles and it will take you to the overall Circles options. If you join one, the overall page will also show which circles you've joined and you can select that go directly to it. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members April Ballou Posted December 20, 2022 Members Report Share Posted December 20, 2022 I didn't know about circles and journals. But that's good information to know. Thank you @foreverhis Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members foreverhis Posted December 20, 2022 Members Report Share Posted December 20, 2022 1 hour ago, LostThomas said: Let me try this for the first time and see if you get the response. You did it! I got the notification in email and here as well. 1 hour ago, LostThomas said: Isolation concerns me and I hope I'm not too old to participate here. There is no such thing as "too old" or "too young" to be part of this community. There is only "Lost the love of my life." I was only a few weeks away from 60 when I lost John after 35 years. Other members here had longer marriages, sometimes much longer than that. Believe me, we are all ages, circumstances, stages of life, faiths/religions or none, and well, everything. You are welcome here. I see you are in Chesapeake. My mother's side of the family is from Deltaville on the Piankatank River (I so love saying that one!) and I have relatives who still live there, as well as others in Newport News. We used to visit in the summers when I was growing up--I'm a California coastie girl since birth, so your humid summers were quite an experience for me. I'm so sorry that you have a reason to be here, but I promise this is a really good place to be. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members DougH Posted December 20, 2022 Members Report Share Posted December 20, 2022 On 12/17/2022 at 3:30 PM, Deborah_M said: Hello everyone! I don't want you to think I'm not very smart, but I'm really having a hard time figuring out how to respond to those of you who post a reply to my post. If anyone could give me a few pointers I would appreciate it. I find myself coming here often, but it is frustrating not being able to figure out how to post a reply back. On the subject of grief in my life...it's been just a little over two months now but why does it seem like it is much longer. I'm going through one day at a time, but my sadness seems to be getting stronger. I'm shutting down emotionally. I have plans to go to family for the holidays but my heart is really not in it. I know it's best for me to get out of the house. I seem to find no reason at all for staying home. Thankfully, I have my four legged companions to keep me company. I reached out to another widow in my area but it didn't go as well as I thought it would, maybe she just doesn't need a new friend. Several people on here have reached out to me and I'm sorry if you didn't get a response from me. Just have not figured out how to reply to you yet. but I'm still trying. so, if you didn't hear from me, I hope I will figure it out. I really need to feel a connection with someone. May God Bless you and keep you safe at this time in our lives. Wish I could say "Merry Christmas" but I just don't feel it. I am having same problem 3 months and keep trying. No one to help. Have ask. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members DougH Posted December 20, 2022 Members Report Share Posted December 20, 2022 Ty 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted December 20, 2022 Moderators Report Share Posted December 20, 2022 12 hours ago, foreverhis said: Hi Kay. Go up to the top of the screen. There's that list across with Share (Forums), Chat, Circles, Journals, and Search. Select Circles and it will take you to the overall Circles options. If you join one, the overall page will also show which circles you've joined and you can select that go directly to it. Wow, I never noticed that! 1 hour ago, DougH said: I am having same problem 3 months and keep trying. No one to help. Have ask. But you did it, you quoted her! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members DougH Posted December 22, 2022 Members Report Share Posted December 22, 2022 On 12/20/2022 at 2:49 AM, DougH said: I am having same problem 3 months and keep trying. No one to help. Have ask. does quote mean reply. why don't they just say reply. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members April Ballou Posted December 22, 2022 Members Report Share Posted December 22, 2022 @DougH when you use quote it's one way of replying to someone. You can also reply by using the @ symbol and their name with no space between. When you start typing their nam a list of names will appear below your typing and you scroll to the name listed and it turns blue. They will receive notification that you have replied. I hope this helps you. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members April Ballou Posted December 22, 2022 Members Report Share Posted December 22, 2022 That would make sense 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members DougH Posted January 3, 2023 Members Report Share Posted January 3, 2023 I say again how could they make a website so messed up. They need to write a book. The world's worst website software. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted January 3, 2023 Moderators Report Share Posted January 3, 2023 Hmm, I don't see this website as messed up...it's sometimes up to us to figure it out, something that can be challenging in the midst of grief. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members April Ballou Posted January 3, 2023 Members Report Share Posted January 3, 2023 Sometimes it's not the website, it's your connection. Or maybe try clearing out some of your history or clear out your cashe and cookies. Sometimes it's not the website, it's your connection. Or maybe try clearing out some of your history or clear out your cashe and cookies. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members DougH Posted January 3, 2023 Members Report Share Posted January 3, 2023 No it's not the connection or cashe. When I click on lost partner there is no search to take me to my conversations. That's all I want. It takes for every to find my feeds. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members foreverhis Posted January 3, 2023 Members Report Share Posted January 3, 2023 54 minutes ago, DougH said: No it's not the connection or cashe. When I click on lost partner there is no search to take me to my conversations. That's all I want. It takes for every to find my feeds. I think I can help with that. If you go to your profile, one option is to go to your posts. It will show your every post, reply, and emoji chronologically. That may make it easier for you because the website doesn’t have feeds per se so there’s no way to search for them directly at the forum level. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted January 4, 2023 Moderators Report Share Posted January 4, 2023 18 hours ago, DougH said: No it's not the connection or cashe. When I click on lost partner there is no search to take me to my conversations. That's all I want. It takes for every to find my feeds. Have you gone to your profile and then to your activity? I often use that to find somewhere I've been. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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