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I lost the love of my life


Dynachic

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My husband passed two years ago, we had only been married six months, it still feels like it was yesterday! I've had a rough two years at work and in life. On Oct 8th I fell and broke my ankle, I've been house bound and needless to say I've spent most of the time crying. Someone mentioned today that this is the time that has been chosen for me to grieve, and that I have. I'm stuck here. The anniversary was Oct.14th. I did notice after the surgery on my ankle (Oct. 20th) there were two weeks that I felt his presence here very strongly and would catch things out of the corner of my eye. One particular time he was standing next to me waiting for his turn at the coffee pot. If only I could have grabbed him, just for a minute. To add insult to injury it seems I've got mice now, I hate them so much so that the night one ran out in front of me I called my neighbors to help me. We caught it but I didn't sleep for two nights!! Now I noticed what look like droppings in my closet in the bedroom.... ARGH!!! The past two months have been filled with tears, anger, and fear....I still love him so very much! But I feel like I'm going nuts :wacko:

Shar

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Hi Shar,

It seems like you have many emotions that you are dealing with right now, and to add insult to injury (no pun intended), the pest problem is not making it easier. Two years is still recent in the grieving calendar. In fact, the word "process" does not imply that grief has any fixed schedule or program. Grief reactions can overlap and take varying lengths of time, depending on the individual. I read an article pointing out some of the symptoms of grief, although not all, that one might experience. Maybe knowledge of these might help:

Early reactions: Initial shock; disbelief, denial; emotional numbness; guilt feelings; anger.

Acute grief may include: Memory loss and insomnia; extreme fatigue; abrupt changes of mood; flawed judgement and thinking; bouts of crying; appetite changes, with resultant weight loss or gain; a variety of symptoms of disturbed health; lethargy; reduced work capacity; hallucinations--feeling, hearing, seeing the deceased.

Leveling-off period: Sadness with nostalgia; more pleasant memories of the deceased, even tinged with humor.

There is nothing wrong with grief Shar, but the danger lies with stagnation. When you are unable to become reconciled to the reality of the situation. Help from compassionate friends is what might be needed. The Bible says: "A true companion is loving all the time, and is a brother that is born for when there is distress." (Provebs 17:17) So please don't hesitate to ask for help from a trusted friend to talk and to weep with them.

I hope you feel better in time, that your wounds, inside an outside, heal soon.

Kind Regards,

Ada

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Thank you Ada. This has just been a really tough time. Granted, I've buried myself in lots of things but never really allowed myself to feel. Now its hitting me all at once, along with all the other stuff. As has been said "One day at a time".

Thank you for answering my post. That was very nice of you.

Shar

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