Here comes the holidays

[Goforth860]

I have not liked the holidays for years. I putn9n a front when felicia was young and the past 2 years I've put up my tree for Alaina.  Now I dint have Alaina or felicia or John.  Even when there was no one else there was John.  Now there's no John.  How am I supposed to do this. Get through these days without him. Without my family. My sister said my nephew offered me to come over to his house with her for Thanksgiving.  I told her that I wasn't sure how I would be. If I would be able to hold it together and I didn't want to be a killjoy. Or upset anyone. She said she understood. But I told her that my neighbor and I were going to cook so I wouldn't be totally alone on Thanksgiving.  Thar if I got to upset or she didn't want to hear anymore of it I lived right across the walkway and I could come home.  So I won't be alone but I wont be with John. That just kills me. 

[April Ballou]

@Goforth860 my prayers are with you during this time of year.  

[widower2]

I'm sorry. I've more or less hated the holidays for a long time and of course even more so after my loss. Sometimes I'd know some people doing a pot luck for Thanksgiving but more often it's just me so I make my own simple version of Thanksgiving dinner (and watch football). I hope you decide to go out even if it is difficult...to me being alone is much harder. 

[KayC]

I did it.  I got the urge to put up the tree and knew I'd best act on it quickly or the thought would pass and not return.  I did it for George.  No one will see it but me and Kodie.  I'm not "in the spirit" and definitely my heart isn't into the festivity.  Just not into it.  But George loved the holidays, all of them, I don't think he truly lived until we were together, his background was awful, his upbringing, 11 kids, alcoholic dad (mean, abusive), he went through a couple of bad marriages before me, no one had ever given him an ornament or stocking!  I did, I made his stocking and my little sister and I found just the perfect ornaments for him.  It's a memory tree, really, ornaments from family and friends that are now gone, ones for a dog that has passed, etc.  Kodie loves the tree, is enthralled with it.  It is beautiful.  I put up our stockings even though there will be no presents under the tree, nothing for the stockings, they're up.  I've always waited until after TG to do it but I'll be gone on TG on day and knew I wouldn't feel up to it afterwards....once the snow comes I'll be out shoveling it.  Life is harsh up here.

On 11/20/2022 at 9:49 AM, Goforth860 said:

Thar if I got to upset or she didn't want to hear anymore of it I lived right across the walkway and I could come home.

That sounds like a good idea and I actually envy you, I'll be driving six hours on TG.  Ugh.  Last year all I could eat was the turkey and some pumpkin mug cakes I brought for my son and I.  Will do the same this year.

 

On 11/20/2022 at 3:01 PM, widower2 said:

I make my own simple version of Thanksgiving dinner (and watch football). I hope you decide to go out even if it is difficult...to me being alone is much harder. 

It actually sounds good to me, I hope you enjoy your football & dinner!

[Goforth860]

See I would be over an hour from home at my sister's abd We'd be going about 2chours fr9m her house on td and they'll I'd have to go back to her house afterwards and then she'd bring me home on Sat.  I just knew that'd be way too much for me. The rush of the holidays the riding the act of the meal. Being together. Don't get me wrong I would've loved to be together but that far away. The inability to leave and come home. The inability to cry at or in every whim. Tins said she didn't or couldn't handle it. That she couldn't take care of me and deal with the holiday. Which I didn't and don't want anyone to have to "take care of me". At least I won't be alone. I'll have my neighbor to eat with and my girls to come home to. I was thinking about the tree 🎄. I was really thinking I have no reason to. The past 2 years I put it up for Alaina.  Now I have no Alaina or felicia or John. So why bother. There's going to be no presents. I want to just to feel like Christmas. But I don't see a reason. I haven't made up my mind.

[widower2]

6 hours ago, Goforth860 said:

See I would be over an hour from home at my sister's abd We'd be going about 2chours fr9m her house on td and they'll I'd have to go back to her house afterwards and then she'd bring me home on Sat.  I just knew that'd be way too much for me. The rush of the holidays the riding the act of the meal. Being together. Don't get me wrong I would've loved to be together but that far away. The inability to leave and come home. The inability to cry at or in every whim. Tins said she didn't or couldn't handle it. That she couldn't take care of me and deal with the holiday. Which I didn't and don't want anyone to have to "take care of me". At least I won't be alone. I'll have my neighbor to eat with and my girls to come home to. I was thinking about the tree 🎄. I was really thinking I have no reason to. The past 2 years I put it up for Alaina.  Now I have no Alaina or felicia or John. So why bother. There's going to be no presents. I want to just to feel like Christmas. But I don't see a reason. I haven't made up my mind.

I'm sorry, but glad you won't be alone. My first Christmas without her was totally alone. I don't think the world ever felt darker. We just have to try and get by and be glad when January hits! Then the holidays are a long ways off and before you know it, springtime nears...

  

9 hours ago, KayC said:

It actually sounds good to me, I hope you enjoy your football & dinner!

Thanks, safe travels to you!

 

[KayC]

My last Christmas was horrible, I had to shovel snow all day, starting at 3 am.  Barely had time for Chia Seed Pudding, kind of boring for a Christmas meal.

Goforth, I'm glad you won't be alone.