What do I do?

[Liyah3732]

I lost my mother in December 2020 - the holiday season and death anniversary is coming up so it’s been a little harder than usual right now. I struggle with sharing my pain with people and self isolate a lot when I am feeling down about her. I have a boyfriend but I don’t feel like I can talk to him. I don’t know what to do or what question to ask. I’m just lost and hurt.

[Luminescense]

I am sorry to hear of your loss =(

It's normal for people to isolate themselves a bit more at times while grieving. Some people simply need time alone to sort it out in their mind, to remember the person they have lost, and how to move forward. 

It makes sense to feel down when an anniversary of a death comes up. Totally normal. 

Deaths around the holidays are extremely common, just as they are any other day of the year. However, around the holidays - it makes deaths a lot more memorable, usually. It can make what is displayed as a season of joy feel less cheery, but that is okay!

If you need someone to talk to, you can always give me a shout out here, find a grief counselor/therapist in your area or online, get together with a friend and talk about it over some tea or coffee, etc. 

If your boyfriend doesn't know what's going on and why you are perhaps needing extra time for yourself, it would probably be useful for him to know about that and why you may need some extra space. It is totally up to you, though! You don't have to talk about this with someone if it makes you uncomfortable. Although, finding that right person to talk with can feel so much better.