I'm losing my Mind

[Jannie]

At 28, I'm an orphan. I lost my dad 10 years ago and recently lost my mum on October 28th 2022. My mom is the reason I keep pushing through life, her smile, her voice, she's my everything. I can't sleep and barely eat since then. I even called her number hoping she will magically pick up and joke/yell at me. The worst is that the people I call friends are not even concerned. They didn't call or visit. I feel so alone and I've no one to talk to. My best friend and her mom whom I've went out of my way to do things for never called after I told them what happened and the only time she called was to ask me to write a reference letter for her hospital clinical program. Will this feeling ever go away?? I don't think I can recover from this. Any idea on where to seek for help, because I'm beginning to loss mind. I haven't been to work since Monday October 31. 

[Flora]

Hi Jannie,

I’m  so sorry to hear you’ve lost your mom. It sounds like you two were very close. I can relate to that, my mom was my best friend and I lost her in August. It’s terrible your social circle isn’t being more supportive - those who haven’t experienced loss don’t understand the deep, tremendous weight and pain you’re forced to carry now. Sadly, and I know this isn’t the answer you want to hear, it doesn’t go away - but it won’t feel as constant. You will always love and miss her. You will have days, weeks, months, where it’s easier to carry. You will learn ways to cope specific to your. We just learn to carry it with us and focus on the great memories we have. It sounds like you have a ton of great memories with her, so I’d focus on those. Find reasons to smile when you think of her. The only thing we can do is take it one day at a time. Wake up, love yourself for brushing your teeth and eating a meal. It seems like there’s a great community here you can lean into. Maybe look for some grief groups in your local area if you’re looking for something in person? I don’t have many recommendations as I’m considering looking into local therapy, myself. Hope someone out there has some answers you could use! *hugs*