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Am I in the right place?


missing_you

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Hi everyone,

I'm not sure if Im in the right place but I don't know where to turn to. There really is no place for a person in my situation. A little over 6 months ago, a very special friend made a suicide attempt, however I feel as if I have lost him/he has died. I am thankful to God everyday that he survived and there was an angel watching over him. With that said, you probably wonder why I am here if he's still alive.

This friend was really close to me, but I didn't know my friend's family. I was able to see him once in the psych ward a few months after his attempt, but after that lost complete contact with him as his cellphone and email accounts had been deactivated at the family's request to help him heal. I have heard he is staying with his mother, but she has remarried, so I don't know her new last name and where to start looking for him. To make matters worse, it seems nobody understands why I am taking this hard, but they also didn't know him, nor the impact he had on my life. He was one of those people who got me....good/bad and everything in between and never gave up on me. He was my rock.

It hit me really bad that I miss him when I passed a dead body on the side of the highway, that the police didn't cover so well. It was two days after the 6 month anniversary of his attempt and near a bridge. (My friend's attempt was off an overpass onto the highway). I thought it was natural to miss him, think of him and shed a few tears, but people told me otherwise.....how can they? even one person who was a mutual friend just shrugged it off.

This is why I am here or trying to find the place to be. Is it normal to have grief over an attempt?

Thanks for listening.

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Hi everyone,

I'm not sure if Im in the right place but I don't know where to turn to. There really is no place for a person in my situation. A little over 6 months ago, a very special friend made a suicide attempt, however I feel as if I have lost him/he has died. I am thankful to God everyday that he survived and there was an angel watching over him. With that said, you probably wonder why I am here if he's still alive.

This friend was really close to me, but I didn't know my friend's family. I was able to see him once in the psych ward a few months after his attempt, but after that lost complete contact with him as his cellphone and email accounts had been deactivated at the family's request to help him heal. I have heard he is staying with his mother, but she has remarried, so I don't know her new last name and where to start looking for him. To make matters worse, it seems nobody understands why I am taking this hard, but they also didn't know him, nor the impact he had on my life. He was one of those people who got me....good/bad and everything in between and never gave up on me. He was my rock.

It hit me really bad that I miss him when I passed a dead body on the side of the highway, that the police didn't cover so well. It was two days after the 6 month anniversary of his attempt and near a bridge. (My friend's attempt was off an overpass onto the highway). I thought it was natural to miss him, think of him and shed a few tears, but people told me otherwise.....how can they? even one person who was a mutual friend just shrugged it off.

This is why I am here or trying to find the place to be. Is it normal to have grief over an attempt?

Thanks for listening.

Yes, you bet it is normal to feel sadness over an attempt. And thank heaven that there are people in this world that really do care. He obviously make a huge impact on your life in some way and you connected. Now you feel as if you need to get his back.. as he did for you. Try to find him. Tell him how you feel. That you are so concerned about his situation and that you care. He needs to hear this. He needs to hear that somebody is concerned enough to find him. DO IT! You'll be amazed at the outcome. It was a cry for help. You sound like a devoted and loyal caring friend. He is lucky to have you. Good luck.

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Thank you so much Kate!

Someone who finally gets it. *hugs*

Im sorry for the loss of your son.

I dont even know where to start to find him. His mom is very protective and has cut off all his communication. She was there for the brief two minutes I saw him in the psych ward when he told me that. She is remarried, so they don't have the same last name; therefore I can't search for her either. I only have one hope left. I recalled a mutual acquaintance we had long ago, sent us a forward, before I even knew him. Dont know why, but it stood out. I took the chance, well several chances to email him and tell him the things I needed to say and felt he needed to hear. The stuff I felt was left unsaid since our visit was supervised by him mom. I just feel he has things that he couldnt say with her there too. Dont get me wrong. I have no negativity or anger toward her. I know shes being protective. She reminds me a lot of my own mother, so I actually admire her for taking such concern as hard as it is to deal with, I accept it and applaud her. I just hope he doesnt need to be reaching out to me and isnt able to. I also hope when he needs to that she kept my number and email address that I gave her. Or, even possibly he is getting the emails I have been sending to this account from back in the day. All his other emails and his phone are sending back reject notifications and this one hasn't, so like I said. Last hope. Im praying that he at least feels the support Im sending his way and that he knows I care and have his back.

To be honest, he was shocked and pleasantly surprised when I showed up at the psych ward when I did. Nobody knew he was there. I was determined and made numerous phone calls trying to find him. Just wish I could be that lucky again.

I just want to see him again. On our own, unsupervised, no buzzing in and out. And so you know, I feel selfish saying that on a board like this, where so many of you will never have that chance, yet I have a slim hope of having it again. Please know I am truly sorry if I have offended you or anyone for feeling the way I do even though he is still around....somewhere.

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Thanks for your concern for my son. I do appreciate it! I am thinking about how you can best attempt to find your friend. I am so glad that you had that brief couple of minutes with him at the hospital. His mom is acting in a way to protect him and is probably also acting on the Docs advice. There has to be some way that you can find him again and let him know that you are still in his court. Would the hospital forward a letter to his home for you? Perhaps sending a separate letter to his mom as well via the hospital explaining how you feel would also help. Be completely honest and frank. Tell her that you want to be there for him and ask how you can help. Perhaps she will soften when she reads this. It will show how dedicated a friend you are and she may welcome the friendship you are offering. She most likely was in a very bad way the last time you saw her. Be kind and just show your true concern. He is very lucky to have a friend like you. Good luck. Let me know how things go,ok?

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Thanks again Kate.

I did actually leave a letter with the hospital two days after I saw him. I told them I didn't need to see him, I just wanted to leave this with him. They insisted they ask him to see me, but we were told he was not up to visitors.

I feel like an idiot, because I didn't put my contact information on that letter, in retrospect I really wish I did. That could've made all the difference.

Maybe you're right. Maybe I should try doing that again. Can't lose anything trying but my time.

I will definitely keep you posted. You're an angel Kate. Talking to you is really helping a lot.

I think you're really the only person who gets where I am at. Thank you!!!

*hugs*

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Hi, definitely try again! You have nothing to lose, but everything to gain. At least in the end you will know you did everything that you could to try to make contact. That will be important to you as well as your friend. I really hope it does work out. People can find themselves in dark places and make crazy mistakes that they regret later. With help and support they can find peace within themselves and hopefully move forward in a positive way. No person is beyond a second chance. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you. Good luck!

Kate :)

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