I lost my mother, my best friend on October 11th

[AliceH]

When I was younger, I was in and out of the hospital with ear infections. At 12 years old my appendix ruptured, surgeryto remove them. At 13 years old the doctors found that I had a mass of blood vessels embedded into my brain, surgery to remove that. At 14 years old my tonsils were so swollen, they made it hard to breathe so they were removed. 12 surgeries and 18 different medical conditions later, I am here at the age of 40.
My mother started living with us when my second daughter was born in 2012. My mother helped me out alot because my daughter was also a sick baby. So she became very close to my second daughter because she knew what it was like having a sick child.
My mother passed away on October 11th, 2022 at 6:25am from a tear in her aorta that was pumping blood into the sac around her heart.
I am having so many issues coping 2 weeks later. I'm not hungry but when I think about making myself something, I get so nauseous. My sleep has been so very bad. I wait until my 2 daughters are on the bus to let myself think and cry. I am barely hanging on by a thread and my fingertips are slowly losing grip.
I am a highly sensitive person so my feelings are very strong and deep. I found myself the last few days looking for psychic mediums because I want to know that she is ok in the manner she passed. I lost not only my mother but my best friend and I feel so empty inside 💔

[Summersun]

I am so sorry for your loss. It is an exceptional situation. Please be kind to yourself. Come back here to talk to us. Someone is always up around the globe. 

Lack of sleep is very normal. Your mummy is likely fine. From everything I heard about near-death experiences, lots of people find it so soothing that they actually resist coming back to Earth.

When one goes, the hard part is over for them, and our hard path with the grief is just beginning. 

If  she could see you now, I guess, being the devoted mum you describe her as, she'd be much more worried about you than herself. It is the missing them that is so hard, and the not knowing that drives us mad.

You found the right place to talk about these things. Please be prepared for your environment to expect you to move on very soon. Unfortunately it's such a taboo in society to talk about grief that we got to lean on each other because we cannot expect our surroundings to do that. 

Sending much love and strength to wherever you are, big hug also!

Summersun

[Brendasbell]

I know what you are going through my dad died on the 18th of October 2022 from a heart attack he also had  stroke he was going in hospital for an hernia operation about 5 hours later from his operation he had a heart attack my heart is breaking I'm trying to stay strong for my mam 💔 

[MarciaK]

I loss my mom Aug 5th 2022 and I feel completely lost I have no energy to do anything. I cried the day she passed but have not cried since. I’m just wanting to know if this is normal and if things will ever change. 

[Flora]

I feel this so deeply, I lost my mother on August 13. She was also my best friend. I didn’t think I could feel a sadness so intense until then. Days without eating, and lacking the motivation to take care of things you’d normal not mind. Be proud of yourself for the small things you get through. Even if it’s just having a small meal. Tackle each day one day at a time. Give yourself time, patience, and love - the same things I’m sure she’d give you 💛💛 

[Jannie]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I know what you're passing through. I'm currently 28, lost my dad while in high school to illness that the doctors can't find. Fast-forward to October 28th 2022, I lost my mom to cervical cancer that refused to respond to treatment. It was caught at the early stage but still nothing. My mom is the reason I keep pushing every day. She makes me smile, even when I attempted suicide, she's the reason I haven't given up on this thing called life. Just remember she's always watching over you and your kids. Stay strong. 

[Summersun]

Love to everyone who commented here. We've got to lean on each other...

The last comment reminded me,  please everyone: don't forget your regular Check ups! 

Very often when we are very sad or have to take care of the other parent, or are totally shattered, because we just lost the second one - we begin to feel numb and indifferent and don't take care of the most important thing anymore which is our own health.

You can can pay a late fee on almost any bill. Remember that a late fee on a tumor is unheard of. I'm basically talking to myself because I am the first person to always do the thing that stresses me less instead of the thing that was most important. Because of course everyone who has dealt with death doesn't want to hear about doctors and hospitals anymore. That is where my thinking took the wrong turn...

So please don't be like me - just go in before you are too afraid to hear the news.

And on this happy ending I wish everyone a great day 😂

Did not mean to spoil it for you it's just the last poster reminded me... my avoiding does not make things better...

Sending strength to all in these dark wintery times!