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I didn’t gain a daughter-in-law, I lost my Son to his wife. I had an instinct that she was more than she showed us when they were dating. The moment they got engaged I started noticing the claws coming out. The wedding confirmed it, the grooms family was left out of a lot and we paid for more then half of the wedding and had no say in it at all! Now, 2 grandkids later, we have been banned from our son and grandchildren’s lives.  We were told to communicate through emails and only to her. My son only says he has to support his wife. I ask over and over, what did we do to warrant this ban from the family. No answer. No communication about excluding my sons entire family from their lives. The wife convinced my son to become Catholic, I feel most of the problems are steaming from the cult like lifestyle they now live. I am grieving the loss of the loving son I once had which he is a shell of himself now and the loss of the relationships I may never have with my grandkids. If there is anyone else out there struggling with a similar situation, please reach out. I’m in need of coping skills. 

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Guest Rosemary

I don't have any kids of my own, so I can't say I can really relate to how you're feeling about this, however I'm familiar with this situation as it sounds very similar to my father's relationship with my grandparents. Maybe I can offer a different perspective in that sense. Whenever I was still an adolescent, and my father was a younger man in his late twenties to early thirties, my dad still kind of relied on my grandparents a lot as a means to get by. Unfortunately, that meant my dad did have to hide things from them or keep it secret if he ever wanted to have some say in his own life, because a lot of his own decisions were dictated and controlled by his parents due to the financial support they were giving him. When he finally married my step-mom, who has always been the breadwinner between the two of them, everyone was pretty much against it. To be fair, she was not a very mature adult and was very manipulative and controlling too. She did some awful things to my mom, sister and I regarding, well, just about everything she could do. A perfect example was not even waiting a month after my parent's divorce was finalized to then go and marry my dad on my mother's birthday, which was also Thanksgiving (Everyone, including my mom, waited on them to arrive at my grandparent's house for at least an hour so we could eat our meals together, not even knowing what it was they were doing during that time). But I digress, he married her in 2012 despite all her shortcomings- and is still with her, in fact- as a means of getting away from his parents and achieving a sense of financial security. I guess he was tired of his parent's thinking they had any say in his life whenever he wanted things to be different than what they did, but now he's with her and she's doing the same exact thing but in a different way. He won't call or talk to his parents and my half-siblings don't go over to visit because he doesn't want them being influenced by them, which they honestly probably would try to do. But they blame my step-mom even though it was him that decided to cut off contact and the only one who does contact them is in fact, my stepmom.

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