Just an Old-fashioned Girl

[BohoKat]

Just when I think I have gotten it together somewhat in the 18 months since Mark died, I break down over something else. Today it was the mailbox. We were fairly traditional, most everything was in his name. When I hit the third envelope still addressed to him, I lost it. I had taken as a sign of encouragement I was recently able to start wearing my wedding rings again. Had put them in the drawer soon after his funeral because I would tear up all day long whenever I would focus on them. Ah, pain, my constant companion. Just an old-fashioned girl, will be signing my name Mrs. Kathy B-. forever. Peace be with you, Bohokat

[Suea]

@BohoKat it's been 6 months without my love and I also have that reaction when mail comes in his name. I know I am considered a "new" widow and so I try to prepare myself for this type of cruel reminder but it seems our hearts speak louder than our minds. I am sorry this is happening to you. 

[Gail 8588]

Bohokat and Suea, 

I am sorry to say that getting mail addressed to my husband still occurs 5 and a half years after his death and after having moved twice. 

Usually they are solicitation letters for him to obtain a new credit card, support some charity, or right now vote for X. 

I really don't understand it. He never lived at this address or at my address just prior to this house.  Somehow, out there in the internet world his name is connected to mine, and my name is associated with my current address, so mail directed solely to him gets routed to my  address. 

Why campaign material gets set to him here is especially hard to understand as he is not a registered voter.  I notified the elections office in St Augustine that he was deceased and had him taken off their roles back in 2017. I transferred my voting rights with my 2 moves.  But I get campaign fliers everyday addressed to only my husband. (I usually also get a duplicate addressed to me.)

I can't understand how this continues to happen, but it does. 

I know these little triggers can bring on a feeling of loss and pain. It sometimes still does for me. 

Maybe Kay knows if this finally ends at some point.

Gail

[KayC]

It was tough getting mail and phone calls in his name (mostly $ pleas) but now it's been so many years since I've gotten any, not sure that's any better but I think it is because then it was so raw.