Husband jealous of my Dad (who’s passed)

[On and Off]

My husband confessed last night that he’s jealous of my Dad (who passed away 6 months ago). He says I don’t count on him like I did my Dad. That I’m grieving him so hard because he’s the only man I’ve ever loved. I’m at a total loss of what to think. 
 

my Dad and I were VERY close. He raised me on his own. BUT - it was a very complicated relationship and not exactly healthy. He expected too much of me and I tried to hard to deliver on those expectations. 
 

My husband is my primary emotional support and now I feel like I can’t talk to him about my grief. What to do, what to do. Is it normal for your husband to be jealous of your dead Dad? I don’t think so but who knows. Any advice or perspective is appreciated. Thanks

[reader]

Dear on and off,

I am sorry for your loss. Our feeling around loss can be very complicated. I can see how your husband is feeling some jealousy. I think most men like to be the alpha and want to be needed and depended on. It sounds like he wants to feel as important to you as your dad. I don't know if he would be open to going to counselling or joining a support group with you. We all need additional supports during this sad and difficult time in our lives.  I hope others will come forward and offer some additional view points.