Losing my best friend

[Crys]

I just lost my best friend yesterday. I am devastated and cannot imagine life without her. She’s been my rock. Please share how you have dealt with loss. 

[reader]

Dear Crys,

I am deeply sorry for your loss. It is devastating. Please be kind and gentle to yourself and know that grief is a long journey and there is no fixed timeline.

For myself, I tried grief counselling, joining a grief support, reading, writing and arts and crafts to process my grief.

I also found these websites offered a lot of helpful advice.

What's Your Grief

Grief in Common

Grief Healing Blog

Grief Share

Grief Recovery Method

My thoughts are with you. x

[Kalina]

HI Crys, tell me about your best friend. What was she like as a person, what were her hobbies, dreams, ambitions, what made her laugh. Any small details.

I lost my best friend 3 months and was involved in his death to some extent, as I spent the 4 days prior to his death with him and left him on his own for one evening, because he asked me and was mad at me. So there are many open questions, many whys and what ifs. He was 33 and I love him more than anyone and yet I have to learn to live without his phisical presence and find the strenght to forgive myself.

Loosing a best friend is painful, the most painful I have ever experienced, so it is worth trying anything and everything to feel better. Whatever it is, from traditional councelling, to art theraphy, to hypnosis, ayauasca, body de-armouring, you name it. You do whatever it takes to grieve and process it and express the feelings inside. I do not when it will get better or bearable, but I believe noone can live in chronic pain and your best friend certainly would not want this for you. So maybe this will bring you closer to her, spiritually, and closer to yourself. I would wish that death is not the occasion for spirituality, especially when it comes to people we love so much. At the same time you have two options: you either sink or you rise up. I don't think you can simply float with such intense emotions. 

What is it that helps you at the moment?

I am listening to Tibetean sound bowls at work and guided meditations at night. Also doing grief counselling 1 x every 2 weeks