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2 year Anniversary of Robs Death


Tweetymm125@aol.com

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Tweetymm125@aol.com

It was 2 years since Rob died on Nov 16th. I went to the grave and just cried. I wasn't able to post because of problem with my daughters eye pad. I stayed home and cried. I looked for messages on my sons facebook but there was only two. It makes me sad. How quick people forgot. It hurts alot. Something very interesting happened the day before Robs angel date. My daughter is a nurse and she had a patient who woke up and said "I dreamed about your brother and you" This patient knew nothing about my daughter. She just got him earlier that day and was too busy to converse much . The patient said Your brother said lets go have a beer and eat. He said you replied Lets wait for my sister Rob said She will be fine The patient said that Rob was very load and hyper. That is exactly how my son was. My daughter then told him about Rob It is amazing a patient dreaming about my daughter and son The patient stated Rob wanted to go eat right away. My daughter told the chaplain He said that was Rob communicating thru the patient and letting my daughter know that she will be fine. Christi has a sister but it is no relation to her brother. Anyway the Holidays are coming and the sadness engulfs me. The pain is just too much. I worry about my health because the stress of my sons death is making me physically sick I feely sorrow is getting worse I hate the Holidays. A few friends called ne on the angel date because I posted on facebook My own family didnt talk about Rob Just my daughter and I hung out I just do not get it

Missing Rob more and mre and I feel helpless

Robs Mom

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Robs Mom-I am so sorry that you weren't able to post on Rob's anniversary and that you feel so alone. My son Westley died January 13, 2010, so the 2 year mark is coming fast for me too. It does seem lately that it has been worse and not better. I have such guilt for his death, he died of combined acute intoxication, a couple of beers and prescription painkiller. As far as I knew, he didn't take drugs often, but he did drink a lot and we had fought about it the night before. I slept late the last day of his life, because I had been up so late waiting for him to come in. When we fought, he tried to hug me and make up to me, but I was so angry that he had driven home after drinking that I told him to just go to bed, we'd talk about it later. Then I slept late, although we did talk that last night and he said he'd be home in an hour or so, so I went to bed. Then we got that horrible phone call that he was asleep on his friend's couch and she couldn't wake him up. It still seems not real to me, and I guess the 2 year mark is making it more real than ever. How can we not have heard our boy's voices for so long? And never to hear them again in this life? At least the last words he and I exchanged were I love you, I am grateful that I got up that night from bed and called to check on him. Rob sounds like Westley, over the top. I'm glad that your daughter's patient gave you the message from him and I hope that it brings you some peace. Sending you hugs and strength and hoping that your health gets better and the stress lets up at least a little.

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Rob's mom,

So sorry of the loss of your dear son, Rob.

We miss our children every day but holidays makes it even harder . It's funny how people seem to be all around at the beginning and then they just seem to vanish. I know they have to get on with their lives and they do not grieve the loss as we but you do wonder how they can just seem to forget all together. I often wonder what has happened to true compassion and care and concern for others.

I held a lot of resentment for relatives that grew up with my son and family members who he was close to and how they all just vanished. I can honestly say they showed no compassion at all and was completely insensitive to our family. Because they were able to put this behind them and go on in a matter of months they just simply thought we had too.

Unbelievable!!

I had to learn to forgive them and not hold that inside of me. My husband told me then and still reminds me today that all that matters is that we love our son and we honor him.

Please take care of yourself. I know that is not easy when you are not thinking of yourself but only the loss of your son, but grief of this kind does cause a breakdown in our bodies. I am now suffering from that. The years of grieving have taken its toll and in 2009 my physical body just went down hill, now I am diagnosed with an auto immune disease. My doctor tells me all stems from my grief.

It wasn't just the grief of my son but the added load by my extended family by their lack of concern. I wanted to scream out at them so many times and say, "hey, I'm not the same as I was before. I LOST MY SON!!!!"

It does seem at times we suffer alone, but I am glad you are able to express your feelings here and hope that helps in some small way.

You are not alone and there are people that do understand and care, sadly, it is those that are walking this same road.

As long as you are here and those that loved your son he will never be forgotten.

A mother's love never dies.

Praying God give you the strength to get through this thanksgiving and may you feel His love.

Rose

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It was 2 years since Rob died on Nov 16th. I went to the grave and just cried. I wasn't able to post because of problem with my daughters eye pad. I stayed home and cried. I looked for messages on my sons facebook but there was only two. It makes me sad. How quick people forgot. It hurts alot. Something very interesting happened the day before Robs angel date. My daughter is a nurse and she had a patient who woke up and said "I dreamed about your brother and you" This patient knew nothing about my daughter. She just got him earlier that day and was too busy to converse much . The patient said Your brother said lets go have a beer and eat. He said you replied Lets wait for my sister Rob said She will be fine The patient said that Rob was very load and hyper. That is exactly how my son was. My daughter then told him about Rob It is amazing a patient dreaming about my daughter and son The patient stated Rob wanted to go eat right away. My daughter told the chaplain He said that was Rob communicating thru the patient and letting my daughter know that she will be fine. Christi has a sister but it is no relation to her brother. Anyway the Holidays are coming and the sadness engulfs me. The pain is just too much. I worry about my health because the stress of my sons death is making me physically sick I feely sorrow is getting worse I hate the Holidays. A few friends called ne on the angel date because I posted on facebook My own family didnt talk about Rob Just my daughter and I hung out I just do not get it

Missing Rob more and mre and I feel helpless

Robs Mom

Hi Rob's Mom,

I am so sorry that you are feeling such heartache. I understand perfectly how you are feeling right now. It is coming up to the second anniversary of Jeff's death. Like you, I am walking around with a knot in my stomach and constant heartache and tension. It would be easy to sink into a slump. I do try very hard to force myself to keep going and try to eat properly. I am lucky in that my husband takes very good care to make sure I do that. Sometimes I wish I could be a kid again and just have my Mom to comfort me and help me to feel better. I know it sounds sad, but I do feel like that on certain days. It's so hard being an adult with no time off to crash. Please do try to look after yourself and when it becomes overwhelming...then I just take one day at a time. Any more then that is not possible. Yes, the friends do drop off and move away. Their lives continue and in some way I think we remind them of their friend and they feel guilty that they are here and the other is not. They appear embarassed that they are happy around us.

Hang in there and stay strong. These holidays will soon be over and know I am in this along with you. Jeff died on December 12th. Anytime you want to talk just give me a shout.

Kate

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