My baby boy is gone 😭

[Kathy M-L]

I lost my baby boy Mocha two days ago. I am devastated, broken, and cannot function without him. He was always by my side, he loved me unconditionally, and the pain that I feel losing him is something I can’t even put into words. All I want is my boy to come home to me. 
He was 15 years, 6 months, and 18 days old. 
He was my everything, my shadow, my best friend and my child. He made me feel better and would lay on or beside me all the time. I can’t live with out him.

He was diagnosed with lung cancer on Tuesday and passed on Thursday this week. I knew the choice we had to make, for his sake,  but the loss of his physical presence is gutting. I can do nothing but cry and lay on the couch or my bed, wishing for a sign or him back. Living apart from him; doesn’t feel like an option to me right now. I just want to sleep bc when I sleep the pain is not debilitating and crushing. When I wake up I sob uncontrollably and look around at all the places he sat, layed and spent with me by my side.

The longing for him back gives an ache in my heart I can’t describe except pure and literal heart ache and break. 
 

I don’t want our bond to break but he feels so far away I don’t know how to find him. We needed one another so much that knowing he is out there without me to care of him, makes me fearful, as he always needed his mom. Now he is alone without me 💔 and I am alone without him. I have begged him to come to me, stay in the house till it’s my turn to go one day…. I want to know he is still always here - a sign once in a blue moon is not enough.

he loved me every day for his entire life, and I loved him too, everyday for his entire life. I can’t seem to live without him 💔😭

[KayC]

I am so sorry for your loss.  I hope you can rest assured he is fine where he is, even while you are missing him so much...my one consolation is that the next place is so much better.  It seems hard to believe as this is all we've known!  And being so dependent on each other here, it's hard to fathom the next world.  My husband died over 17 years ago, that was my huge awakening to grief big time...he'd just had his 51st birthday and was in every sense of the world, my soulmate and best friend.  Our dog grieved big time. 

I had a cat named Miss Mocha...she died in 2016.  My dog Arlie died from cancer three years ago last month....that one hit me like my husband's death.  It sounds crazy, but in one way even more, as a dog can love so purely, they are so attentive and make us their study and literally live to please us.  The relationship is one of the most binding there is.  
Right now I'm under threat of fire...Cedar Creek, 2 miles from here, 110,000 acres...and one of the thoughts that cross my mind if we have to evacuate again is leaving 8 graves here...

I got another dog, my son brought him to me, he is my life now...I'm turning 70 in a couple of weeks, growing old alone.  I hear you when you say you can't live without him...

I am so sorry this happened to the both of you...the hardest thing in the world.  I truly am sorry.   Come here to vent, cry, whatever you need to do.  It helps to get it out.

Comfort for Grieving Animal Lovers