Harder now after 2 years

[Grace123]

My sister died two years ago.  She was diagnosed with what turned out to be cancer the Christmas before the pandemic hit.  She had an operation and a precautionary treatment with chemotherapy.  Unfortunately the cancer grew.  Chemo didn’t work. We all got locked down.  Clinical trials stopped.  She died.  I think about her a lot and in the beginning I felt relief for her.  That her pain was over…then I didn’t feel much.  I could think about her fondly, none of my memories could be taken from me and I found thinking about that a comfort.  It seemed that I was coping well but it has only just started to really hurt.  I’m not quite sure what to do about that or how to articulate it.  I am not good at sharing how I feel and I have left it late to feel like I need some help. 

[Michael Günther]

I can understand what you’re going through and how you feel. Reminiscing about a lost loved one can be depressing, thinking about the what if’s and what could have been. It’s a hard process but one way to relief yourself is not by holding up your feelings but communicating them. I know it’s easier said than done, its very hard to be vulnerable but you still need to try. Communicating with son about your emotions and feelings is a way to heal you‘ll be surprised how that can be helpful and how the weight would be lifted off your chest. Trust me try it’s a process