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Loss of my 16 year old son


reneem

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2 months ago I lost my 16 year old son. He and three other friends jumped off the local bridge in town into the river , my son did not make it to the shore . His friend tried to help him but couldnt and he drowned in the river. They tried to find him that night. It happened at 9:30 at night. There was a thunder storm going on so they had to call off the search until the next morning, they found his body the next morning at around9:30. I dont know how to deal with the pain, I want to blame my self. He mentioned to me that his friends wanted to jump into the river. I told him this wasent a good idea becouse this river is very swit and deep. I really didnt think that he was going to do this. I miss him so much , He was my oldest son. I have a daughter , she is 6. I try not to show my feelings around my husband and her. I dont want to upset them. I dont know what to do with all my grief. Its so hard just getting through the day! I fell so lost and empty without him, especially with the holidays starting ! Lost and confused! His angel date is 09/09/11

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I'm so sorry for your loss. My 5 year old, Charlotte drowned on July 6th. I blame myslef too for letting her go to the pool when I wasn't going to be there. My husband and 2 other adults were there but I learned the hard way that other people will not watch your children as well as you will. I shouldn't have let them go. I also have younger children. My 3.5 year old doesn't like to see me cry but I tell her it's okay to cry and it's okay to feel sad that Char is gone. I feel responsible for showing her how to grieve and for making sure this terrible tragedy doesn't ruin her life. I still feel lost and confused most of the time. I feel panicky - the feeling you get when you're in a busy store and you realize suddenly that your child is missing. Well one of my children is missing and I can't find her! It's a terrible feeling. But there are people on the "Loss of an Adult Child" forum that aren't so new at this that can help. I know it says Adult Child but everyone is welcome there. I'm sorry I'm not much help. I'm pretty much in the same boat as you - feeling the lonliness, dispair, grief, fear, longing, yearning for my firstborn baby. I still pray to God every night and ask him to turn back time to the morning of July 6th so I can stop this devastation from happening. I'm really only holding it together now because of my 2 surviving children.

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JD's Mom, Becky

Hi there,

I feel your pain. I lost my 15 year old son, Jared, on October 3, 2011 when he was hit from behind by an SUV while he was either skateboarding or walking 1/4 mile from our driveway. I also had advised him not to use this road for biking or skating or even walking, as the cars and big trucks use this road as a backway to neighboring city, and they just fly by here. I never knew the speed limit was 50mph, as it wasn't posted, and just down the road, in another residential section it is 40mph. We are now working to change the speed limit to 35mph in hopes of preventing this type of tragedy for another family. The investigation is ongoing, and I have many mixed emotions on a daily basis. I couldn't drive my car on this road, or even go to the mailbox for more than a month, because the sound and sight of cars going by made me imagine that moment of impact. I never got to say goodbye, as he died within minutes of the crash.

Here is a little video that I made, which is what I do to keep my sanity, http://youtu.be/7SOTEnnacgw

2 months ago I lost my 16 year old son. He and three other friends jumped off the local bridge in town into the river , my son did not make it to the shore . His friend tried to help him but couldnt and he drowned in the river. They tried to find him that night. It happened at 9:30 at night. There was a thunder storm going on so they had to call off the search until the next morning, they found his body the next morning at around9:30. I dont know how to deal with the pain, I want to blame my self. He mentioned to me that his friends wanted to jump into the river. I told him this wasent a good idea becouse this river is very swit and deep. I really didnt think that he was going to do this. I miss him so much , He was my oldest son. I have a daughter , she is 6. I try not to show my feelings around my husband and her. I dont want to upset them. I dont know what to do with all my grief. Its so hard just getting through the day! I fell so lost and empty without him, especially with the holidays starting ! Lost and confused! His angel date is 09/09/11

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Jared's Mom - I am so sorry to know that you have lost your sweet boy. The video was beautiful yet so sad. My 16 year old daughter, Shannon, was killed on impact in a car accident about a mile from our home on September 20, 2011. I am learning that grief is an entity with a life and mind of its own. I have no control over it; it simply takes me and does with me whatever it chooses to do. Most parents post in the Loss of Adult Child Forum. It is a more active thread and all are welcomed without regard to the age of our Angels. You will find others who are farther along on this terrible journey than ourselves. They are a wonderful group of people who know and understand exactly where you are and what you are going through. You will be safe there. Please post in that thread and tell us of your son. Love and prayers for you and your family.

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