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Everyone's sick of listening to me...


amy.peterson@maine.edu

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amy.peterson@maine.edu

Today is the one year of my mother's death, from lung cancer, at age 69. I know other people don't have the same strong emotions about this date that I do, but I feel like no one cares. My husband keeps encouraging me to stop counting milestones; I don't even think he even remembers what today is. My friends don't think it's a big deal.

I'm not trying to be overly dramatic about it; I went to work, am taking my youngest to the midnight Twilight movie tonight, but I just would like something, some acknowledgment of the importance of today to me.

Is this an unrealistic expectation?

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Amy,

I am so sorry about the loss of your mother. It is very hard to lose a parent. They have known you longer than anyone in the world and often are a big support and part of your life. It is a big deal to lose a parent. I am sorry that those around you don't seem to understand this. Grief makes some people uncomfortable and others just plain don't understand in many cases because they have not experienced it themselves. I also lost my mom to lung cancer almost a year ago. I still really miss her. Some days are harder than others but you can bet that I will consider the anniversary of her death a milestone and commemorate it and honor her in some way. Fortunately my brother does understand and my husband understands as well even though he is not good at listening to me. I had to find other people to listen to me because my immediate family doesn't really "get it". This site is one of the places I came to "talk". It seems for a lot people, me included, telling their story helps. I hope you find someway that feels right to acknowledge the anniversary of your mom's passing even if it is not on this day...maybe sometime this month. Maybe you could go out with a friend to a place that serves the type of food she liked, make a donation to a charity dear to her heart or whatever feels right to you. Take care and please come talk here anytime you like. People here understand and will listen.

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Amy I know what you mean it's only been 26 days since my mom passed and I am counting everyday just because i miss her that much,my mom was 55 when she passed from heart disease,and to this minute I am still crying because we were as people say connected at the hip,I know I will never recover but I just hope it will at lease become tolerable..I am always open to listen because I know the pain,and the loss..God bless you and feel free to send me a message anytime....support is what we are here for...a place where people DO listen

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No, it is not an unrealistic expectation. You lost your mother, and one year after she died is very hard and emotional. It is another very real reminder that she is gone, you love her, and you miss her very much. Take some time for yourself today to remember her. Maybe do something special that she would have loved. I think you are doing the right thing by going to work and spending time with your child, but also take care of yourself. I won't be approaching the 1 year mark with my father until April, but I know it is going to be hard. Praying for your today.

Today is the one year of my mother's death, from lung cancer, at age 69. I know other people don't have the same strong emotions about this date that I do, but I feel like no one cares. My husband keeps encouraging me to stop counting milestones; I don't even think he even remembers what today is. My friends don't think it's a big deal.

I'm not trying to be overly dramatic about it; I went to work, am taking my youngest to the midnight Twilight movie tonight, but I just would like something, some acknowledgment of the importance of today to me.

Is this an unrealistic expectation?

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Guest DarkHeart

Today is the one year of my mother's death, from lung cancer, at age 69. I know other people don't have the same strong emotions about this date that I do, but I feel like no one cares. My husband keeps encouraging me to stop counting milestones; I don't even think he even remembers what today is. My friends don't think it's a big deal.

I'm not trying to be overly dramatic about it; I went to work, am taking my youngest to the midnight Twilight movie tonight, but I just would like something, some acknowledgment of the importance of today to me.

Is this an unrealistic expectation?

I don't think it's an unrealistic expectation, either. In fact, I believe it's an important part of healing to remember and recall pivitol milestones, including the incredibly tough ones. It's what makes an individual brave & strong, imho. I wish you well - you are definitely not alone, don't forget that.

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